Chapter 50

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When the two boys appear in the darkness I let out a breath

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When the two boys appear in the darkness I let out a breath. "Did you get it?" I ask Kaz as we walk down the street, trying to seem as normal as possible "of course I did" he replies in an air of confidence. Earlier Matthias went to get the boat ready and once we all climb in he demands "well?" I sit down and wrap my jacket around me although it does little to stop the chill. "Hold your tongue Helvar. Words like to ride the water. Put yourself to use and help work the oars" Kaz answers and I bite my lip to keep from laughing at the expression on Matthias' face. 

We stay silent for the whole journey back to our hiding place and I carefully examine my nails. I don't want things to be awkward between Kaz and I anymore, I want us to go back to how we were. Partners in crime. I also want to admit my feelings to him but I don't want things to change although I guess things already have.

Once back at the cemetery, the others all in the tomb waiting for us. I shrug off my jacket and go and sit with Nina who is picking at her nails. Smoothly I slide my hand into hers and give her a cheeky wink, it's one of the few comforts I can bring her now she has gotten over Parem. Well mostly. Before we arrived we heard Jesper and Nina having an argument about him gambling his guns, none of us showed him any sympathy after we told them to be quiet.

"Guess what we saw on our way out of the Lid" Nina demands, her eyes sparkling, the kind that happened when we went to the ice court. Before any of us get a chance to answer Jesper answers for us "two Shu warships sitting in the harbour" while rummaging through the food store. Nina throws a hairpin at him "I was going to make them guess" I take a swig of my water and cross my legs on the floor where I am sitting.

"Shu?" Kuwei asks and the heartrender nods "cannons out, red flags flying" I frown, what the bloody hell does that mean? All I know is that it probably isn't good for us. "I talked to Sephect" says Kaz "the embassies are full up with diplomats and soldiers. Zemeni, Kaelish, Ravkan" my hear lurches at that last one. My people. "You think they know about Kuwei?" I ask shifting my weight, "I think they know about parem" he answers "rumours, at least. And there were  plenty of interested parties at the Ice Court to pick up gossip about Kuwei's..... liberation" I turn to Matthias trying not to seem accusing as Kaz says "Fjerdan's too. Druskellë mostly" there is an awkward silence.

Kuwei just shrugs and asks "isn't it nice to be wanted?" I snort and so does Jesper, the boy isn't intentionally funny but his innocence does make me laugh. Jesper comes and places himself beside me throwing his arm around my shoulder letting me lean into him. I choose to ignore the glares from Kaz, after all we are all friends here. I look between Nina and Matthias and Jesper and Wylan. Well at least some of us are.

"This is good for us" I continue ignoring the obvious tension in the room, "the Shu and the Fjerdans don't know where to start looking for Kuwei and all the diplos making trouble at Stadhall are going to create some nice noise to distract Van Eck" Nina leans forward, invested in the conversation now. "What happened at Smeet's office? Did you find out where Van Eck is keeping her?" We all look at the two boys now, hoping for the right answer.

"I have a pretty good idea. We strike tomorrow at midnight" Kaz admits and I smile, finally we are getting Inej back. We speak for a while longer about whether the plan will be done it time before I stand up and stretch my legs "I'm going for a walk" I announce and flounder out of the door.

The night air is cold but nice, that tomb is too stuffy. Kaz follows after me and a blush creeps up my cheeks "can you do what is asked of you tomorrow?" He asks and I swallow nodding my head slowly, "you don't have to worry about me. I've got my part down" I say looking out at the water. Kaz slowly makes his way to me and leans on his cane "you never speak of your family" he says and I huff turning my head to look at him "you don't ether" I point out and he shrugs.

"You remember yours" he says softly and I frown "I remember Alina and that's only because she has been around my whole life. My parents died when I was little" things get awkward and I sigh rubbing my hands together "all I remember is my mum baking these strawberry cookies, I used to dunk them in milk" I say quietly. A memory I haven't thought about in a while, haven't let myself remember because it feels as though I am unworthy of it. The things I have done.

There is silence for a while longer before I make my way back to the tomb. "Salem" he calls and I turn, his eyes sad "thank you for letting me know that" I dip my head slightly and smile. Heading the rest of the way inside.

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