Sinner ( ongoing - new update)

Is that permission

Jungkook Anxiously  gripped his pencil in his sweaty hands , he could feel his heart thumping in his throat and it seemed like his body had gone cold , with every student that stood and handed in the exam he wrote faster and faster . The clock ticking echoed  like a church bell in his ears .

Like a metronome .

He had already broken the lead of about two nervously bitten pencils but he wrote like hell was in his blood .

Untill he was the last one there- he still wrote as fast as his hands would let him but his fingers were sweaty and the pencil kept slipping between them , grating at the paper furiously ,  about to break .
Stupid .

He kept his head low still , the sound of quick messy scribbling ridiculously loud in the empty class room

The almost empty class room

He could also hear  the footsteps
Each heavy clacking footfall edging towards him and he wrote quicker,
In beat with the clock - click clack
climbing closer to his paper but he felt the woman's breath at the back of his neck and he froze .

He couldn't write anymore

His hand stayed gripped around his unmoving pencil hovering an inch above the paper . His head stayed down , hair covering his face .

He wasn't breathing   . But that distinct perfume still flooded his senses .
So all he could hear
Was a wheezing ac gently fluttering his unfinished  paper
And her presence behind him .
And that stupid clock .

Whenever she was close he forgot his name , who he was
He wasn't an aspiring idol who could sing in front of hundreds without breaking a sweat
Or a performer who could endure long hours and criticism

He had no drive
No passion
No name
He was nothing

And she was everything and terrifying .
He gulped and his shaking hand put down the pencil .

He bowed his head and hid a shaky exhale as she walked to the front of his desk - her acrylic nails tracing around his shoulders as she walked to the front of the desk inciting a gruesome shiver down the boys spine . His hairs stood on edge and goosebumps rose where her nails traced him .

He kept his beautiful black eyes low
He watched intently as the small pencil rolled slightly on the table in response to that shitty AC .

He felt her sharp red claw under his chin lifting his face up so he could see her
Sneering eyes
Pursed red lips
She was the scariest thing he had ever encountered

She was also undeniably beautiful , in a strange way that was all sharp angles and short ebony hair just above her shoulders . 

Her eyes slanted upwards at the end slightly and two moles were place above her lip and below her eye , he tried to focus on trivial things like that .

But all he could hear was his own heartbeat as his darting eyes finally focused in on her light brown ones .

" Jungkook ," she drawled
" sunbaenim ," he whispered - he didn't mean it to come out so breathless and scared but it did any she and she smirked in a way that froze his veins.

He was sure he could feel every tense Atom in his body on  edge. Something made him think she could too.
And even though it was just her two eyes tracing his skin and obnoxiously yellow school outfit
It seemed like the world was watching him on edge
Like she was looking past his blazer and shirt .

He gripped the edge of his chair as she twirled his pen between her fingers .

" slow , slow Jungkook - you know you have so much potential ." He thought it was best he stayed silent biting ion his tongue .

She danced her claws around the table and picked up the test as if it was a dirty sock , flicking through it with a humorous smile that made the boys face flush red hot

At one point she covered her mouth with her hand , snorting at his answer and then sighed
" hopeless ," she muttered pinching the edges of the paper and slowly ripping it in front of the youngers face
" fucking hopeless ,"

And he really did feel stupid in that moment .  Fucking brainless - and it wasn't just the unfinished ripped paper lying on his chipped wooden desk , it was that drowning feeling behind his nose and eyes that meant tears were pricking and he didn't know why because he was 17 for fucks sake .

That prickling in his eyes only made him feel worse .

" what -" his voice cracked and he took a low shuddered breath ,  for once he couldn't trust his vocal cords " what can I do this time ,"

" ugh ," she sighed theatrically " so boring kookie ," she laughed and he grimaced . He hated it so much when she called him kookie , that wasn't meant for her mouth - for someone like her and her metallic voice.  " always so desperate to pass ,"

" I can't do our come back untill I pass ," he whispered . Unfortunately it was the law , and big hit wouldn't budge.  In the middle of them just beginning to gain traction , big hit ran into new legalities and jungkook could not comeback with bts untill he passed this exam he missed 2 years ago .

Which should be easy .
Except this was his 6th time doing it and except the comeback had already been delayed 2 months because of this stupid fucking exam he just needed to graduate.

her fingers wrapped around his elbows gently pulling his arms up and gliding her hands to his wrist so that the boy burned with shame again .

It was scary how the room and that fucking AC had him freezing moments ago and now suddenly it felt like his skin and lungs were fire .

The truth was he knew what he had to do .
Two months of sleeplessness and avoidance because deep down he knew studying wasn't cutting it.

That thought alone sent the drowning feeling behind his nose and eyes on overdrive and his face was burning hot with disgust and shame and ....
Her lips brushed past his ears
" you want to pass kookie ," she whispered
He swallowed and whispered back his eyes down as her hands clutched onto his shoulders that never felt so small

" yes ,"

" you know you're too stupid to do it on your own ,"

He closed his eyes. It was the truth , it stung like hell but it was the truth .
" yes,"

She let a painful silence stretch between them so he could feel his own body heat radiating off of him in crashing waves  , and his heart thumping out of his rib cage like a count down.

" is that permission ?" She drawled
And he closed his eyes , tears finally escaping them tracing down his cheeks and the side of his neck - his fingers unclenching , not even realizing he had drawn blood in crescent shaped as he clenched his fists so tight .

He couldn't count how many times he had failed anymore . The church bell clock rang deafening in his ear . For months he knew his fate .
Slowly he nodded his head .

He refused to open his eyes but he could feel her twisted smile.
He kept his eyes closed .
Her fingers slowly pulled off his blazer from his shoulders .
He kept his eyes closed.
Please God please save me

————