Forget Me Not [ON HOLD]

Forget Me Not (Four)

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Chapter 4: How to save a life

I should not have let Damon Duke kiss me.

Over the following weekend, I think of Damon Duke one thousand times a day. I think, what if he won’t speak to me anymore? What if he regrets what happened and hates my guts? What if he asks me out? What would Aunt Catherine think? What if my heart rate doesn’t slow down for the rest of my life? Why isn’t he ringing?

If I’d have somehow pushed Damon away before his tongue touched mine, then maybe I’d save myself the grief. But what if what had happened that night was just him exploiting his true feelings? A small flutter in my stomach tells me I’m too happy about that idea. If I began to start having connections here, it would be that much harder for me to leave later.

And then it hits me. I’m going to avoid him. He’s made it obvious that he’s interested, even if he was drunk and if I start now, then in time he’ll just forget about me. I mean, you don’t kiss me the way he kissed me and not mean business. Do guys shake like that with every kiss? I seem to change my mind every minute – fascinated by him, and never wanting to see him again. It made me a little dizzy actually.

On Monday, there’s a lot of awkwardness. Not much eye contact was going on between the boys and the girls. There’s a bit of snickering as a tiny blonde (whose name I was fairly sure was Tara Young) walks by and I look from the gigglers to Tara.

“I’m not even going to ask,” I think to myself.

In English, I’m sitting at my desk, working out my strategy to approach Damon Duke, to demand what it was he wanted from me, when Justine French approaches me. And she has the most distressed look on her face.

“You’re going to be devastated,” she says. She and I weren’t exactly friends – I mean I don’t even make friends – but every now and then she’d help me catch up with things that I’d missed before I came here, so we weren’t exactly strangers either.

“What am I going to be devastated about?” I ask her.

“I don’t know if I can tell you or not.”

“Then why bring it up in the first place?”

“It’s not as if I wanted to overhear it.”

“Let me guess? I locked lips with Damon Duke and the whole school knows about it?” It wasn’t exactly my worst fear, but it wouldn’t make me feel great about it. “Not even remotely devastating.”

“It’s much worse than that.”

“Can you stop with the melodrama? I don’t do devastation.”

“Damon Duke has a girlfriend.”

Oh my God, I am so devastated.

“I think he’s devastated about it too.”

Just then Damon Duke walks in on my horror, and Justine quickly sits down. It had been one of my true fears that I’d thought of. Of course, that tiny brunette that I’d seen the on his lap had been his girlfriend, and yet I’d somehow hoped that she wasn’t.

I don’t look at him as he walks past. I don’t look at Justine either. I don’t want to see the pity on her face or the sucked-in look on a Nicole Banks who was sitting near me. I feel as though my throat was made of paper and all of a sudden, kissing Damon Duke is the most embarrassing thing in the world. I feel like Adam and Eve when God finally points out to them that they’re actually naked.