Responsibilities Of An Idol Leader | KNJ X OC ✔️

24. Distractions

As much as I wish I didn't have such a demanding profession, I'm thankful to live my dream. Of course, I could live a normal life and freely be with the woman I love and our son who has been growing such a huge place in my heart. But, at least I can financially support them- I know it lessens the stress off Sooyoung. Though, when I first mentioned how I would be helping them financially, she wanted to refuse at first, saying that I didn't have to aid in that way. But, I told her that I missed Moonsik's first five years, and if I can contribute in anyway, such as any of his extracurricular lessons or to put towards his college fund, I insist. When, I put it in that way, she understood that me contributing financially is just one other way to show how much Moonsik actually means to me.

If I could, I'd help Sooyoung with her school tuition, but that's where she draws the line.

I respect how resilient she is.

Fuck, I need to stop thinking about her and get back to my book.

~

25/06/21

Sooyoung's 1st Person POV (New York)

"Hey, what are you up to, Soo?" Lucy says as she enters the dining room and joins me at the table with her laptop.

"You know, just studying my ass off, but my mind has just been such a distraction. I can't focus," I sigh out, looking at her with exhausted eyes, then looking back at my laptop screen.

"Why can't you focus?" She queries.

"Men," I giggle, frustratingly.

"Specifically Namjoon, I'm assuming?" Lucy questions, with a brow raised.

"That's the one," I breathe out, "He messaged me a few minutes ago. It should be morning for him now. He was just seeing how I was doing. I mean he was just on a FaceTime call with Moonsik three hours ago for his bedtime story. But, he keeps messaging and checking up on me. I love it, but it just makes me miss him so fucking much." I place my face in my hands.

"I've never seen you so lovesick, Soo. It's so unlike you!" I look up at Lucy and she's smirking at me.

"Shut up!" I jokingly reply and giggle. "I can't help it. I love the man. I always have"

"Then why did you suggest the break?"

"He's just distracting!" I sigh out.

"Even if you aren't officially together, you still love him. And, whether you like it or not, he'll always be on your mind. I don't get why you wanted to already take a break from having a romantic relationship with him." Lucy is blunt.

"We'll, it's just..." I trail off. I don't want to admit the real reason.

"It's what, Soo?" Lucy looks at me with interrogative eyes.

"Ugh! I'm just scared of getting hurt again!" I blurt out.

"You're hurting yourself if you don't try at all!"

Fuck, she's right. My mind is such a mess.

"I think the distance has been affecting me. But, you're right. I do love him. And, he's proven that he's really trying. Maybe he and I need to have another discussion."

"Maybe you should!" Lucy winks at me.

Well, when Namjoon was on a FaceTime call with Moonsik and I earlier this evening, he had mentioned that his day was going to be extremely busy so, maybe I'll hold off on calling him until tomorrow. I do need to talk to him.

I just haven't been thinking straight. And, Lucy has a point.

I really would be hurting myself yet again if I don't try with Namjoon.

*********

A/N:
This chapter actually aligns perfectly with Chapter 11 of the JK ff, Worthy of an Idol. There's a part in that chapter of that story where JK thinks about how stressed out Namjoon has been and how he hopes that he and the rest of the guys can help him through anything he needs.

🎵Song to check out: 'Our Deal' by Best Coast

Thanks for checking out this chapter! Stay happy and healthy, cuties! ✨
-MissD