THE SILENCE OF OUR LOVE STORY

15

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JAI CHOSEN

"Since when?" dad questioned while looking down on the floor, as if he was disappointed.

And after we had dinner, pinauwi naman nina mom at dad ang mga lalaki. How humiliating. Sila pa ang a-adjust sa tantrums ng ate ko? How disappointing as well.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "What do you mean, since when?" Both of my arms are crossed on top of my chest with both of f my legs crossed as well.

"Anak, ano ba? You're not even ready to be in a relationship yet." Mom stated in a low tone of voice.

I laughed softly, "Really?"

"Oo. Kita mo naman ate mo hindi ba? Nasa tamang edad na nga, lagi naman na re-reject ng mga lalaki.  You're not ready for a heart ache yet." Ani naman ni dad.

I laughed softly, "Zacc can do what ever he wants. He's not a prisoner of mine. If he wants to go and hang out with other girl, go ahead. If he wants to have fun with his friends, then I won't bother. If he wants to spend his day with me, then go for it." 

"But that's not the point." Dad interrupted.

"Dad," I stood up and scoffed, 
"Oo, I'm still young. I get that. But you can't just sweep away my feelings for him just like that. Porket nagka tantrums lang ang ate ko? You'll let me stop--"

"You have a disorder. We're scared--" Mom was about to finish her statement when I suddenly interrupted as well.

"SCARED?!! SCARED OF WHAT, MOM?!! YOU NEVER GOT SCARED OF ANYTHING! You never even cared for me since the beginning!"

"What do you mean I never cared?!" Mom then also stood up.

"Now, ladies. Please sit down?" Dad requested.

I laughed sarcastically, "Mom, 'wag na, please? Alam ko you and dad loves ate Jia more than me. Alam ko 'yon. You and your favorites, right?" I laughed sarcastically again.
"Scared pa nga--" 

"TAKOT NGA KAMI MAULIT ANG NANGYARI NOON!" Mom yelled on top of her lungs with tears on her eyes.

Pinaupo naman ni dad si mom. Dad also requested our nurses to give mom some water.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "Nangyari noon?"

"Sit down." dad begged.

Umupo naman ako and continued looking at my mom, "Ano bang nangyari noon?" Tanong ko naman.

"We thought we were going to loose you." Dad stated.
"We were so clueless of your disorder. Your mom was so devastated."

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I closed the door and lent out a sigh. 

I wish. . I never yelled at her. I swallowed a lump of thorns in my throat. I wanna be with granddad. I want to be with the people who cares for me. Who cares for my feelings. I don't understand why they're pushing me away from the things I like.

Nagkamali ba ako?

Ako ba talaga ang may mali? I wanna talk to Zacc. His words could only make me feel like I don't regret anything. Dahil sa kaniya, I see myself so flawlessly flawed. But then. . I want to thank him for accepting me and for who I am.

ZACCHAEUS BLAZE

. . . ."So stop time right here in the moonlight (Sad Song; We the Kings)"

"Hey, mom?" 

Mom lowered down the radio before she replied, "Yeah? What is it?" She questioned while continuing driving.

I then took a deep breath and sighed, "Mom, I have a confession to make."
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes. . . Without you, I feel broke

. . . Like I'm half of a whole
"What is it, honey?" Mom questioned back with a curious tone on her voice.

I then laughed softly, "Am I fool for telling someone that I don't want to commit some sort of realtionship with them because I don't want to hurt them? But then. . Deep down. . I want to be with them for the rest of my life? I don't want them to get hurt. I don't want to leave their side. I just. . . Want to end my life with them."

Mom then suddenly parked her car on the side. She then looked at me with a smile on her face, "It has been a while since you've talked to me about this." She took her bag from the back 
"Let's go out and have some tea." Mom then continued driving just to find a good parking spot.

Without you, I've got no hand to hold. . .

. . . .Without you, I feel torn. . .Like a sail in a storm
. .Without you. . . . I'm just a sad song, I'm just a sad song. . . 

"So who's this girl you like, huh? Or is it a girl?" Mom questioned while sipping tea. The place she picked out of the blue is quite nice. I love it here. 

Hindi naman ako gaano mahilig sa mga tea shops, tea cafe, or what. But seeing this place? Mukhang bagay ata si Jai dito. . Kasama ako. Me. . And her? Dating in a relaxing space? I mean isn't it wholesom?

I paused and looked at mom in her eyes, "She's a girl. She's such a pretty lady. She's so unique up to the point your jaws wou'd drop if you ever see her." I smiled and looked down.

*Fidgets my cup.

"Can you tell me more of this girl? And could you tell me about what you told me earlier? I wanna know you and this girl even more." 

I looked up at mom with a surprise look on my face, I never thought that mom has such interests on knowing things. 

I took a deep breath and placed one of my head on the back of my head, "Well. . Sinabihan ko siyang ayaw kong mag commit. We both like-- No, I guess. . WE both love each other? Pero how can I love her if I can't even spend her with the rest of her life? That's why. . I. .  I want my heart surgery to happen as soon as possible." I placed my hand down and leaned against the sofa chair.

"Anak," Mom sighed, 
"Naalala mo pa ba ang sinabi mo sa akin noon? You told me that you don't want to have a heart surgery because of this and that. You don't want to go here and there because of this and that."

My forehead creased. What is she talking about? What's her point?

"Alam mo? Umabot na ako sa point na parang gusto na kitang sampalin." Mom laughed.

"What?? Why?" I questioned back.

Mom then laughed softly again, "Ang dami mong rason, e." She stated. 
"At dahil sa babae na 'yan. I'm. ." Mom looked down and smiled,
"I'm glad that she made you realize a lot of things. I'm glad that she placed you on the right path."

I tilted my head a bit and placed one leg on top of my thigh, "Well, yeah. It's kind of. . funny how we both want to be astronauts."

"TALAGA??" 

Napatingin naman ako kay mom when she got shocked, "Yeah." I replied.

Mom looked left and right after she yelled, "Sorry. . Sorry. . " She appologized to the people that got shocked. She then covered her mouth with both of her hands, "Chika ka nga!" She said.

I smiled and lent out a sigh of relief.