Don't Let Go (A Student/Teacher Relationship)

Don't Let Go (A Student/Teacher Relationship) Part Fifteen

    It was so cold. I tried to find some warmth as I twisted, snuggling further into the sheets of my bed, pulling the duvet up over my head. No way was I opening my eyes; it was cold and bright and my throat burned and head pounded. It was like a hangover, but I hadn’t had one of them in years and I didn’t remember drinking any alcohol last night. Actually, there wasn’t a lot I remembered about last night after I’d gotten home. I smiled slightly, remembering the kiss with Mr Evans; so wrong in so many ways, and yet completely right. Society dictates we be kept apart, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Somehow I knew, the moment Mr Evans’s lips touched mine that he was ‘The One’. The One that you love entirely, impossibly and irreversibly; The One that you would walk a thousand miles just to see and who, if they broke your heart, you would never recover. I shivered at the possibility, and even more so when I realised that Mr Evans was a teacher, five years older than me, while it may not be illegal, it would still cost us everything but our lives to be together. Would he be willing to give that up for me? What scared me most though was that I didn’t even ask if I would be willing to give it up for him, because I knew. I knew that I would drop everything in a heartbeat, in the blink of an eye, if he merely beckoned me to come. I wasn’t just falling for this sweet, funny guy who I barely knew I had fallen hard and fast and had to deal with the aftermath - The aftermath that included Landon. Tears welled in my eyes when I thought of Landon, my best friend, and how I had been reduced to nothing but a filthy whore in his eyes. Unconsciously my fingers reached up to trace the necklace around my neck; nothing but a small ring on a chain. But something only Landon and I knew was that he wore a necklace that was exactly the same, and if you did it right, you could link the small silver rings so that they were intertwined forever, flowing into each other and never ending; each separate but together.

                Suddenly I jumped out of bed, ignoring the cold and the aching of my limbs and pounding of my head. Pain, fury, anger and so much else raced through my body and I needed to do something; I couldn’t just sit and remember. But then his words floated back to me through the ajar window ‘No Riley, you’re just some slutty girl who used me’. I knew what I wanted to do, so I did it. Pulling my fist of my good arm back as far as I could, I slammed it into the wall with everything I had. Agony tore through my knuckles but I found the pain was nice, almost comforting. I screamed profanities at nothing and no-one as tears fell down my cheek. All of a sudden there were warm hands on my waist, pulling me to a warm body and wiping away the tears from my cheeks, despite the way that others simply took the place of those removed. I turned around in his arms, and cried into his chest. I didn’t want this sweet smelling stranger to see me cry but right now, I couldn’t do anything but.

“Shh Riley, it’s okay” He whispered, the fingers of one hand running soothingly through my hair.

“It’s not okay, it’ll never be okay” I sobbed, my face nestled into the sweet space between his shoulder and neck. “He was my best friend; he knew everything about me, I was sure he would at least understand…” I trailed off because it hurt too much to say the words out loud.

“He’ll come around Riley, I promise.” His fingers found my chin and he tilted my face away from his chest and up to look at him properly. I saw genuine concern in his clear blue eyes; concern and something else fleeting but I didn’t know what it was. “You guys will recover from this. You’re special, Riley, and he’d be a fool to let you go” Mr Evans said in a low tone and, when I scrutinised his eyes, I could see that he honestly believed that. If only it were so easy for me too.

“Mr Evans, why are you here?” I asked quietly, keeping my arms wrapped loosely around him to try and show him that I just wanted to understand, I didn’t want him to leave.