𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐤𝐢𝐝

SEVENTEEN

(play when i say so^)
cassandra
friday 12/4/2020

"She can go home, just needs a lot of rest and medicine for the next week. If she feels any worse, you have to come back." I nod my head with my mom. I get to finally get to go home.

I felt my stomach erupted with butterflies from the memory on 11/28. When I finally kissed Alejandro. I've been craving for his lips for so long now. I wanted to feel that same soft, pink, plumped lips I kissed that day. I wanted us to hug each other tightly like we did, just to feel more of each other on our skin. Alejandro makes me feel warm without trying. Makes me feel this feeling I can't describe, makes me feel special. I know I say special but the special I'm describing is different. The special I'm talking about is when I'm secure in this little "relationship" we have so far, I'm always comfortable with Alejandro and I met him just a few months ago and he knows things earlier than the group and knows more about me than the group, I feel a connection I honestly can't describe, he protects me physically and mentally. Even if it's the little things, it means a lot to both of us, he understands me like no other. I can describe every detail about something and someone will say 'Oh, yeah I know how that feels like,' when in reality they don't. With Alejandro, it's like he went through it before and telling me about all of these things, making me feel more connected to him. Maybe he doesn't know how I feel but, knowing you have someone that can fully understand what your talking about is honestly is the best thing ever. Also on 11/28 when he saw me crying, he couldn't stand the hurt in my eyes. I knew he wanted to take that pain away with all the power he has. I knew he felt something, in his body, that pining sensation when he saw me. Alejandro makes me feel a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes he is confusing. Sometimes he holds my hand, acts cute but then, starts smiling on his phone, talking to Devenity. It hurts when he talks to her sometimes but I try to not let that get in the way because we are not even together, but the way he makes me feel, feels like we are. There are so many more things I want to say but, as I said we are not together and I don't want to get my hopes up if we don't end up together. Oh for crying out loud, most likely we are never going to be together. Alejandro probably using me to make Devenity feel something or I don't know something but, like I said. I see the hurt in his eyes sometimes when something bad happens to me, making my desire increase even more little by little.

I let my bottom lip slide between my teeth remembering all the memories I felt during just one simple make-out we had. Oh, how bad I want it to happen again. I never thought of it the other day because I was too sick to think of anything. Ale tells his mom he's going to school but in reality, he comes to the hospital and visits me while doing his homework. In our school, if you show up in zoom then it wouldn't mark as you missing for the day. I'm glad he does do because my mom couldn't get days off to take care of me in the hospital. She thinks I'm alone within reality Ale comes. Ale walks in after she visits me in the mornings before leaving work and Alejandro leaves in time before my mom can see him. It works. I should text him that I can finally go home before he gets here and gets caught.

I quickly grasp my phone and go to messages. After Ale leaves, he doesn't stop texting me. He makes sure I'm okay and get plenty of sleep. Meaning, his name is at the top of the list. I press his contact name and type the messiahs I needed to type.

🐵❤️

don't come to the hospital, I'm leaving today

finally, feeling any pain? tired? unusual?

nope, i'm fine, promise cuddles at my house?