Yours and Mine // Ace Merrill

Don't think i would ever forget

The next few days I spent crying. My whole body had hurt from the constant self harm, pain and crying. I thought Ace had loved me. But obviously I was just a fling.
God. Why did I even have sex with him?
He was a scumbag. He didn't deserve anyone.

Chris came over a couple of days. He helped me a lot. And I loved him for that. He was my best friend.
"Look em, you don't deserve him he's a scum bag you deserve way better." He said rubbing my back whilst I cried harder into his chest.
"Thank you Chris, for staying with me and not leaving. And I love you for that."
"Of course em, I'm always here for you. And I love you for that"
I had to actually throw up a couple of times because how hard I had cried from suffering in pain. Chris was an angel. He held my hair back whilst I threw up, and rubbed my back. He didn't at all flinch or make a weird face but I guess he was used to people throwing up because of his father. I did also see the boys here and then. Teddy actually became nicer and I felt more comfortable around him. The boys were all so lovely to me. They would always have a place in my heart.

Me and Georgia also spent a lot of time together. She would bring me breakfast in bed, read me poetry, do my hair and makeup to make me feel human again and listen to me rant away about Ace and how stupid I was to fall in love with a player.

I was sat in bed on that Tuesday morning. I remember the exact date for some reason.

Tuesday 24th October 1959.

I heard a pebble lightly tap my window. Obviously I ignored it. I just thought it was some skanky teenager. Fuck them. It continued to happen. Around another 7 times. Wow how precise!

I gave in and opened the window to my horror, Ace was standing there.
"Hi em" he said on the verge of crying
"What the fuck do you want"
"Look I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but let me explain everything please"

Wow. That was the first time I had ever heard him say the word 'please'

I mean I could speak to him after all, for some reason I still had a bit in me that loved him and I wanted to know the truth about it.

On the other hand, I didn't want to see him. He cheated on me. It had hurt me for the last couple of days. He made me hate myself.

I had to give in..

"You have five minutes Ace and no more"

Father didn't want to see the sight of him; he was at work however and Georgia had gotten close to this boy named Austin. He was nice; I'd only met him once.
I went and stood outside on the porch. I lit a cigarette as he looked me up and down.

I looked awful. I'd hardly slept, had baggy clothes on, hair was a mess and my eyes were red and puffy.
He saw the scars that I made on my wrists.

"God Em what have you done to yourself" he mumbled looking at the scars
"Explain then" I said impatiently
"I went to Irbys that night with Eyeball. Two girls walked in and were all over us. We got drunk and paid them to have sex with us. They were prostitutes. It meant nothing to me, I promise Em. I was drunk. Very drunk"
"You looked like you were having the time of your life though by the looks of it when I walked in on you"
"I was in the moment em, I didn't know what I was doing with myself. I love you. You don't realise that your the first girl that I have ever loved."
"We'll prove it then"
"Can we just start over please Em, I hate seeing you hurt"
"I-I guess but don't think I won't forget"
"I won't let you down Emily, I promise"
He gently raised my wrist and kissed the scars. It tickled a bit but felt nice to have his touch once again.
"Let me meet you by the diner as your father won't approve of me anymore"
"Ok" Was all I said
He winked and left...

Don't think I would ever forget..