Forbidden Hope | H.S.

35

TW// Suicidal actions
Please read with caution.

Harry's POV

As I get back to my apartment after Hope's outburst I hear screaming coming from Niall's apartment.

"The fuck." I grumble heading over to his door. I lean in hearing them screaming and banging for Hope. I push open the door and head upstairs seeing them all outside a door.

"Hope!" Niall screams kicking the door again.

"What the fuck is going on?" I yell making Niall stop banging.

"Hope locked herself in her bathroom, the waters running." He yells back trying to kick the door down.

"And why is that a problem?" I question not being able to connect the dots.

"This is what she did when we first found out her dad died. She tried to kill herself that night, Harry. She told me that if she ever locks herself in the bathroom and you hear the water running to just leave her because she doesn't want to be saved." he explains trying to get the door down again.

The part of me that still loves her wants to join Niall and kick the door down, to save her.

The other part wants nothing to do with her.

Ultimately the part that still loves her takes over and I stand next to Niall and begin to kick the door. The wood begins to crack and with one last kick the door falls and we move it out of the doorway.

The chair that was lodged underneath the handle, now laying on the ground. We run through trying to turn the bathroom door only to find it locked again.

"Hope! Why are you doing this! Open the door!" Niall screams at her, pounding on the door again.

I get a good kick in before she screams back "Stop pounding on the door and maybe I'll fucking tell you!" we immediately stop banging and we listen for her to speak.

"I don't want to experience the pain of death, you know. I'd rather go peacefully and not in pain. But somehow the pain of living seems worse. Maybe death will hurt less than life." there's a slight pause before we hear her again. "Niall, you know I love you right?"

Niall chuckles before responding. "Yeah, I do." It's quiet and then we hear her.

"Good." the splashing of water is heard and we yell for her. We kick the door, breaking a hole, and Niall and I start to tear it apart. I see the storage bin she put in front of the door. She really didn't want us getting in.

I flip the bin and crawl through the hole we made getting to the side of the tub. The water is overflowing and no bubbles are coming from where her face lays.

I grab her body, heaving her up expecting her to breathe in air as she surfaces but no sound is heard.

"Fuck!" I yell putting her body onto the tile. Her lips are a shade of blue and she's not breathing. I try to find her pulse but it's gone. I start whispering fuck and I get up onto my knees, tilting her head back to open her airways.

I pinch her nose and lean down connecting our mouths, sending two rescue breaths into her seeing her chest rise and fall but she doesn't continue to breathe on her own.

"Fuck." I whisper and I get back up hovering over her body. I place my hands interlocked between her breasts and I begin to push down onto her chest starting CPR.

I start compressions counting to thirty before leaning down and breathing for her again. She is still unresponsive and that's when I yell for Niall.

He comes running in and I tell him to turn off the water and after these compressions, he's going to need to take over if she still isn't breathing.

I finish the compressions and breathe for her again. Her body jolts a bit and I check her breathing but nothing comes out. Niall begins to take over her compressions and he stops after thirty as I breathe two more breaths.

We repeat this two more times before her body lurches forward and water comes out of her mouth. She begins to cough up water, taking breaths when she can and I come up behind her patting and rubbing her back.

She falls limp in my arms passing out turning to Niall. "Go get towels." I tell him and he runs away as I call for Athena.

"I need you to get me dry clothes for her. I'm going to have to change her." I tell her and she nods her head. Niall returns with the towels and I begin to dry her off trying to get her body warm again. As Athena returns with Hope's clothes I go to take off Hope's shirt when Caroline stops me.

"No! You can't do that." she yells at me and my patience is thin right now.

"Why not? I need to change her." she walks in taking the clothes from me.

"I can't tell you because it's not my place to say, but you just can't do it. I'll do it." She kicks all of us out of the bathroom and I go to get more blankets for Hope and I ask Niall if he has something hot she can drink when she wakes up.

He nods his head and I send him to do that as Athena and I wait for Caroline to give us the all-clear. She comes out a few minutes later with her wet clothes nodding for me to get her.

I walk in to see her propped up against the cabinet going in and out of consciousness. I lift her up bridal style, walking back over and laying her in the bed. I put blankets on top of her body trying to warm her up.

I lay down next to her pulling her into my arms. Athena lays down on Hope's other side and turns towards me looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Will she ever be okay Harry?" she asks and I just sigh. I reach over grabbing Athena's hand in mine, stroking her knuckles like I did with Hope when she was upset.

"She'll never be 100% but I'll try my hardest to get her okay." I tell her and she sniffles. I lay there for a while until Athena gets up and leaves the room. I sit up laying Hope down fully. I pull her hair back from her face, clearing it, and my eyes trace over every inch of her face.

I still love her, that's for sure. I never did stop.

I remove a couple of the blankets from her now that her body's warm and keeping a constant temperature. I lay back down tracing her face lightly with my finger before I start to speak.

"I'm sorry for what I said when we broke up. You're not a basket case. You're so much more than that." I whisper, dropping my hand.

"I was just mad and in the heat of the moment, I said that. It's no excuse and I'm too much of a coward to say this to your face. But I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'll never give up on you because I love you, Hope. And I don't care if you don't love me back. I want you to be safe and happy and if that means you have to leave and move to a different country so be it. I'll help you get started because all that matters to me is that you're happy and if that means breaking my heart in the process it's okay. After all, I love you, and I'll never stop loving you." I whisper letting my emotions run free.

I sit back up leaning down and kissing her forehead letting my salty tears hit her.

"I love you." I mutter against her skin before pulling back and looking at her one more time.

I get up to leave the room when a soft voice calls my name.

Her voice.

"Harry." I turn around to see her staring right at me.

"I love you too."

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surprise update in honor of me offically graduating high school :) try to guess what i'm going to major in at college. hint: it's not english.