save [joshler]

lunch?

Tyler's pov

"Why were you crying when I came here?" He asked again. "I don't mean to pry, but..." He trailed off.

I have two options here. Completely fucking lie to him or tell him way too fucking much. Whatever, he's still probably drunk.

"Me and Bren got into fight today. It kinda got super out of hand and I just needed to leave my house. Leave him alone. I mean, it was kind of my fault but he just fucking blew up in my face and just kept screaming. I'm used to him screaming but fuck, I needed to leave so I came here.

"Which thinking about it, which is probably a bad idea because he'll freak out about this too. I can't fucking do shit without him freaking the fuck out on me! I'm fucking tired of it! Like God damn! Leave me alone! I get I can do stupid shit sometimes but oh my God, he just always blows shit out of proportion! It's fucking annoying!"

I went to speak again but the expression on Joshua's face kinda makes it seem like I shouldn't.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Joshua, I didn't mean to unload all of that on you."

"No, it's okay. Um," he paused for a second. "Is it always fighting with you two?"

If only you knew. God, I wish I could just fucking tell him.

"No, not always." I say.

He nods his head and goes to speak but his phone starts ringing. Thank God.

"Sorry, I gotta take this." He says, looking at the I.D.

"No, it's okay, go ahead." I smile.

He nods and stands up, walks to the kitchen and walks out the front door. I lean back, slouching into the couch and sigh. Everything would be so easy if I could just tell him, but I know the shit that would go down if I did. And after seeing how terrible he looks after getting beat up, I don't want to force that upon him. 

Standing up, I take the empty plates and half empty cups and bring them to the sink. I wash them off and begin placing them in the dishwasher when Joshua steps inside.

"Sorry about that." He chuckled.

"No, don't be, it's alright." I said smiling.

Joshua sits at the table behind me as I finish up the dishes.

"Um, thanks for the food and cleaning up my bloody face."

I laugh and nod. "It's no problem, Joshua, really."

I finish putting the last dish into the dishwasher and fling my hands around, air drying them. I motion for Joshua to follow me and walk back to the couch with him behind me.

We sit and silence engulfs us again. God, I don't know what to do now. What do we talk about? I'm not interesting, and I don't want to know more about him or I'll get attached. And we all know my luck with being attached to men.

It's too fucking quiet, what the fuck do I say? Ask him how his day went? I already know that! And oh my God, I overshared about Bren and I. Fuck! That's why he isn't speaking! He's just uncomfortable! Fuck, why am I this way?!

"So," he spoke up. "Do uh, are you doing anything this Sunday?"

Fuck. Oh my God what do I say?! I can't say yes, Bren isn't working on Sunday so you already know what's gonna happen! Fuck, oh my God.

"N-no, I have no plans." FUCK.

He nods and continues speaking. "Would you like to hang out? If not it's totally okay, I won't be offended." He half smiled.

God damn, that fucking smile.

Well what the fuck do I do now?! I'm gonna have to come up with a fucking huge elaborate lie if I say yes. But if I say no I might hurt his feelings. And I like being around him, he's super funny and very chill so I don't even want to say no! 

Fuck.

"Yeah, I'd love too!" I say. "Did you have any ideas or..?"

His face lit up and quickly changed it, trying not to act too excited. "No, I didn't have any ideas. Maybe the mall? I don't have money to waste, never mind." He pauses to think.

"We could watch a movie? Go to a a movie theater?" I suggest. I just don't want to be somewhere too public for someone to see and tell Bren.

"Yeah, but there's no good movies out."

"Yeah, you're right." I hummed.

"What about just lunch? There's a small diner down by my apartment, the food is really good."

A lunch date? That's prime-time traffic. So many people could see me. Fuck.

"Yeah! That sounds good!" You fucking idiot.

"Yeah? Okay! Do you want me to pick you up? Or vice versa? We could just meet at the shop?"

Please, do not come to my house.

"Let's just meet at the shop!"

"Okay! Sounds like a plan." He smiled.

"Alright, what time? I was thinking maybe early afternoon? Maybe 11 or 12?"

I just don't want people to see me.

"Yeah! That's perfect!" He got up off the couch and walked to the kitchen. I got up and followed him, very confused. "I guess I'll see you Sunday." He smiled.

"Oh, you're leaving?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry that was kinda rude of me." He chuckled. "I have a dog and he's gotta eat and I gotta take him on a walk before it gets too late."

"Oh, are you gonna walk home? It's awfully cold for you to be walking that far!"

"Yeah, that's okay! I'm used to the cold." He smiles.

Stop fucking smiling, I will fall in love with you.

"No, let me give you a ride! I have to go home anyways!" I said, slipping on my shoes.

"Are you sure? I thought you live on the opposite side from me?" He asked.

"Yeah, but it's okay! I like driving." I smiled.

"Okay, only if you're sure."

"Of course I am, let's go."

He nodded and walked out to my car as I shut off the lights and locked up my moms house. I unlocked my car and we piled in before I drove off to Joshua's house.

//

"Hey, thanks for everything today, man. The food, cleaning up my face, the ride home, I appreciate it." He smiled.

"Yeah, it's no problem, Joshua!" I hold out my hand for him to shake it. He only smiles and pulls me into an awkward car hug.

"We're passed the hand shakes." He laughed.

"Yeah," I said breaking the hug. "You're right."

"Alright, I'll see ya Sunday?"

"Yeah, see you Sunday, Joshua."

He nods and opens the door, leaving my car a second later. I watch him walk to the entrance of the big brick apartment building before driving off.

God, what the fuck am I getting myself into?!