Fragile

Chapter 17

I couldn't sleep after the night with Noah. In fact, I barely slept the following few days. Noah hadn't mentioned that night since, nor did he mention anything about me wanting to join on the mission. Was that what it was? A mission? What did that make me exactly? My mind was spinning. 

Focusing on classes became increasingly difficult. I wanted to go to Noah and be useful more than anything, but he simply insisted I was doing more than enough by being ignorant. It was infuriating. For the first time, I didn't want to be fragile, not because I was afraid, but because I finally wanted to be useful. I felt a fire burn deep in my gut, a motivation to do something worthwhile. The longer I sat idly by, the longer those girls were in the clutches of monsters. I didn't want to be a useless fragile thing anymore. 

I wanted to tell Noah all of these things, but he was unavailable the next couple of days. Where was he exactly? Every time I asked, he sent vague texts with no answers. Was he meeting with the other detectives? Were there other undercover people on campus? How was I supposed to know if students were actually students? 

On top of everything else, another nagging thought prodded my brain. What exactly were Noah and I? Other than that brief kiss in his dorm room, we had never addressed who we were to each other. There simply wasn't that kind of time. So many things had happened the past week it was hard to take time for anything else. But now that Noah was AWOL and Kiera was busy with club activities, I was left alone with my thoughts. And my thoughts were a hurricane of horrible emotions. 

"Fay!" A male voice startled me. 

"Seth," I said, eyes wide. Wasn't he just the person I had to avoid at all costs? Especially when Noah wasn't around to keep me safe? 

Seth wasn't wearing his lacrosse uniform for once. In fact, he was carrying a large box, gesturing to what appeared to be a fallen clipboard with his foot. "Do you mind?" he asked. 

"Right," I knelt down and grabbed it, my eyes catching on a checklist. "Are you prepping for an event?" 

"Yea, there's a social for the athletics department in a few weeks," he said, and again I was put off by his charming aura that was anything but menacing. "It's a charity event for youth sports in the area, but it's mostly just some old rich people flaunting their money around, yanno?" 

I nodded, though I didn't know. I had never been to a social or really knew anything about them aside from movies. And based on the whiplash I received from my first college party, I had a feeling I truly knew nothing about anything. I was, however, not a complete idiot. 

With Noah not around, it was ample opportunity for me to gather intel while he was away. And what better way to do that then to attend a social? Surely Kiera would already be attending, so if I could convince her to let me be her plus 1, surely I could find my way to the inner circle. 

"Do you need any help?" I asked a little too brightly. Maybe I was a bit overconfident in my socializing abilities. 

"Let me think. Follow me," he gestured down the hall, shifting the weight of the box in his arms. "There isn't a whole lot to do as of now, but we need a lot of people for event prep the day before." 

"I can help," I said. "I'm not sure how, but I'm good with directions." 

He chuckled. "Well, with that enthusiasm, I don't see why not. Have you considered joining the event board? They are in charge of coordinating all the events on campus. We could always use extra hands." 

"Really?" I beamed, momentarily forgetting about my plan as a spy. I had never been apart of anything, let alone an organization. Clubs and activities... these things were the highlight of college.