Mio Girasole///under reconstruction

tiredness.

tiredness- the state of wishing for sleep or rest; weariness.
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TW Warning- Cuts/Self Harm/Topics of Suicide/Blood

The past two days have been hard.

I haven't left my bed, except to pee and eat. I've barely eaten, and I've only played The Sims on my laptop.

And to cut, like I did earlier this morning.

I gave Bianca a key to the apartment, so she's been in and out of my apartment.

"You can't keep living like this." She says as she opens my windows and puts her hands on her hips.

"I'm perfectly fine living like this." I say as I shield my face from the sun.

"No you're not. It's eating you up inside. You want to know how he's doing, where he is. You got your heart broken, it makes sense." She says logically.

"Speaking of, someone's at the door." She says surprised.

"Leave, she doesn't want you here asshole." She yells.

"It's okay, let him in." I croak.

Then he walks into my room.

"You look beautiful." He says.

"No need to lie. I look like absolute shit." I joke.

"Here, I got these for you." He hands me a handful of sunflowers.

"Thanks." I put them next to me on my bed.

"I've been thinking for the past couple of days, and I've been thinking irrationally, and I'm sorry that I put you through all of that for me to realize that I was hurting you. Either way, but it's all up to you Maria." He replies.

"Oh." I say as I sit there.

"Do you have anything to say?" He asks.

My phone then begins to ring.

I quickly go and pick it up.

"Good Morning." I say in a somewhat happy tune.

"Good Morning love. We have to go plan out things for the wedding." My mother says happily through the phone.

"I completely forgot." I say quickly and put a palm to my head.

This wedding.

"It's fine, I'll be over at your place in an hour so we can go out. Bye darling." Then my mother hung up.

"This place looks like a mess." I sigh.

"I'll help clean." Matteo offers.

"It's fine."

"No, I'll help you."

We clean everywhere for the next 40 minutes.

I then get ready, and diffuse my hair so that my hair looks nice.

The door bell rings and I open the door.

"Hello darling!" My mother happily kisses me on my cheek.

She then looks slightly behind me and notices Matteo.

"Hello Matteo!" She says excitingly.

He waves his hand and smiles.

I quickly grab her arm, and we go into the limo.

The car ride is decent, but then we pull back into my parents mansion.

"What are we doing?" I ask confused.

"Rosaline is setting up the small but big details because I know that you're stressed mentally and physically. As long as that's okay with you."

"Yes it is. Thank you."

~𓆉~

We go back into my apartment and my mother hugs me and leaves.

It's about 10 o'clock at night and I walk back into my apartment.

I smell something on the stove and I look over.

"I thought that you've probably eaten, so I decided to make desert." He says as he takes the pie out of the oven. He takes off his apron and oven mitts and I walk closer to him.

"Thanks for making me desert." I say as I kiss him gently.

He puts his hands on my hips and deepens the kiss.

I slightly wince but he doesn't notice that.

He puts me on the grey marble kitchen island and takes off my shirt.

I'm so caught up in the moment, as I run my hands through his hair.

He then begins to take off my jeans as he sees it.

"Maria. Again?" He says as his eyes full of desire disappear.

"It's fine, let's continue." I say as I quickly grab his head and kiss him again.

"No, it's not." As he breaks the kiss.

He takes off my jeans and looks at my thighs.

Clear.

I'm praying that he doesn't take off my underwear and he does.

My hips are exposed, and so is the new cut that I created this morning.

"Maria."

"I said, it's fine. Don't worry about it Matteo." I say as I quickly cover it.

"Maria, I care about you."

"Well maybe you shouldn't. You should go back to when you didn't give a fuck, back when you were drunk all the time. That one didn't care as much and try to change me." I say as I quickly put on my clothes.

I put on my jeans, put on my shirt,
grab my things and head out of my apartment.

I quickly leave and walk down the street.

I sit down and begin to sob.

Then there's a man.

He had pale skin, and seemed scary with his deep blue eyes and jet black hair.

"Hey."

I ignore him and continue sobbing.

"Hey."

Ignored again.

"You don't know how to say hi?" He says as he pulls out a knife.

"I'm sorry, I've just had a pretty shit nigh-" as I notice his knife.

"Now what you are going to do is go to the car. We could get a lot of money for you." He says.

"Sir, I think you have the wrong person." I say quickly.

"No. I have the right one. Stop talking or I'm slitting your neck." His eyes are terrifying and I do the unthinkable.

"Do it, you're fucking with the wrong bitch. I don't care about you stabbing me. I dare you. I'm suicidal anyways so I'm not scared of your stupid ass." I say with annoyance.

He presses the blade into my neck lightly as I sharply inhale.

I then kick him hard, where it hurts.

He digs the blade in my skin as he falls to the ground, then everything goes blank.