Shielding You From Sorrow♡

Chapter 28

"I-i heard everything about what you and Kai talked earlier". She can't look into my eyes. I just watched her sit in front of me.

"Hmmmm". I hummed not minding her eavesdropping to someone else's conversation.

"I'm sorry you felt that way. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you and make you suffer like that". I almost didn't hear what she said cause of the way she talk.

"Well it's fine for me now Jen. Enough with the sorry's, okay. What happened to yesterday we'll leave it to yesterday. Let yesterday take care of it". I joked.

My emotions are mixed. I feel like I lose everything.

"W-hy do you want to s-set me f-free?". She asked after the long silence.

"What do you mean why?". I'm confused. Is it not normal to set someone free cause that someone always seeks for freedom?

"I-i mean you love me, right?". She even can't look at me straight in the eyes.

"Yeah I love you. And I always will. I am setting you free cause that's what you always wanted. Freedom. You always want to have your freedom". I looked at her not showing any emotions.

"Just promise me to fulfill what you've promised to yourself. Promise me to achieve what you always dreamed for". I said after she didn't respond.

"What promise and dreams?". Seriously Jen? You always dream, you always told me what you've promised.

"You have lots of dreams and promises Jen. You promised to make yourself the happiest person. You dream to live in Paris. You have many dreams, promises, wishes and even hope". You even hoped to see us.

You wish, You dream, You hope to see us in the future.

You hoped to see JENLISA in the FUTURE.

This is the JENLISA I don't want to see in the future. A JENLISA that needs to separate ways and take different paths.

I want to see us together and hope for you to be the same.

"You still remember those?". She asked clueless. What do you think of me Jen? Of course, I remember. I always remember.

"Why would I forget about it though". Even if I have an amnesia I will remember it. I will make myself remember it. That's how important you are to me.

Silence embrace us. No one bothered to talked.

I'm enjoying my last minutes with you Jen. I don't think this will happen again. I want to make myself better. I cared too much that's why I suffered too much too.

"I love you". I confessed. Finally I voice it out. It takes me a lot of trials and errors to confess and now I'd done it.

I'd done it but it's too late. You already have him.

But at least I confessed and let you know what I felt.

I am afraid of rejection but I'm more afraid when I can't tell you what I really feel.

"I know". She said as I look at her in the eyes.

Hope you love me back.

"I know and I'm sorry cause I can't love you back. You deserve someone better". It's stupid. You are better, not just better but perfectly good and fine. And now you're telling me that I deserve someone better?

My heart is already break into pieces don't break it more.

"Why you didn't give up on me and find someone instead?". Tsk you think it's easy to give you up? I would give up everything but not you. But it was before.

"There are many reasons to give you up but I choose not too cause that's how I love you". This time I let her feel my love for her.

I'm a coward for not confessing my love for you.

If I have given the chance to love again, I will confess on the right time and don't let history repeat itself.

"I'm sorry. I need to go". She said when someone texted her.

Farewell to you my love.

Go on and live your life to the fullest. That's all I want for you.

Maybe it's the last time that we talk.

Cause after this, I'd promise myself to shield myself from pain.

"Always take care. I know Kai won't treat you bad. Just always remember that once in your life, you met someone like me. You met Lalisa Manoban, once became your Lili". She looked at me doubtful, whether to leave me or to stay.

"Go on. He's waiting for you". I didn't let her choose. It's fine for me to be left alone.

She left without a word.

Thank you for the opportunity to talked to you. It made me feel relieved. It lessen the pain I suffered.

That talked made me clear things out.

I'm so stupid to fall in love with you. Because of this damn feelings I am losing you.

You are my best friend, my cutest enemy, my fallen angel, and my sun who gave brightness into my darkest life.

But now I am losing my sun.

I said I wanted you to stay
But you're always leaving
Never tell me where
Never tell me what's the reason
When you're gone I can't tell if my heart's even beating
Sometimes I think it's just for you
That I live and breathe in

So stay
I know you gotta be tired
When the night gets dark let me be your fire
In a world full of lies
My only truth is you
Here's a words from me to you.

This was the last words came out from my mouth. I know it's hard but this is the reality. A reality that Jennie and I will..........

Never be.

Jennie and I will never be.

You and I need to take the right path for us.

You choose to be married with him. You choose to have baby.

And I still choose to love you at the end.

I always remember that rapline of us Jen. It is meaningful to me.

I wanted you to stay but you give me the choice to go away.

Let the universe take us to the right path.

I thought I was your moon but I just realized now that I am just one of the brightest star around your moon.

Let this pain be our lesson.

I talked to you. For the last time before I'm going to find myself that I lost when I am finding you.

Everything is useless if I can't have you.