Hidden Angel (Dean winchester)

Afraid

You woke suddenly, lifting yourself from the bed while breathing heavily. Another nightmare.
"Dammit." you whisper, putting your hand on your forehead, wiping at the thin layer of cold sweat on your skin. Dean still lays there asleep, snoring softly. The mattress squeaks quietly as you stand from it, making Dean grumble in his sleep. You walk slowly to the door, trying not to make noise or trip over your own feet. 'I should check on Cas.' You say to yourself, making your way down the stairs. Cas sits silently on the couch, eyes closed as he concentrates. "Cas." You whisper loudly, trying to get his attention without scaring him. He opens his eyes slowly, looking over to you with a small smile.
"Y/n, what are you doing up?" He asks, standing from the couch.
"I just wanted to check on you, are you alright?" You ask, walking over to the bar to get some water, The tile on the bar floor cooling your hot skin.
"Yes, I'm fine, still haven't heard anything..." he says, sighing. You shrug, grabbing a cup and turning on the faucet.
"It's alright Cas, stuff like this takes time." you say, drinking the water quickly. He nods, looking at you with concern.
"I'm sorry about all this..." Cas says, shaking his head.
You set the cup down on the counter, walking over to him. "Cas, don't be sorry, this is not your fault, hell, this is no ones fault," you say, grabbing his ahold of his shoulders, shaking him reassuringly "we've always known our family can be a little...heartless." You say, remembering how they shunned you, hated you.
"I-I know, I just wish it wasn't like this for you..." he says, sighing deeply. You pull him against you, hugging him tightly.
"Cas, we all go through tough times, especially us, but we've got to push through, you understand?" You ask, pulling back and looking into his eyes.
"Y-yes, of coarse, y/n." he says, with a small smile "you should go back to sleep, it's late and you need rest." he says, turning back towards the couch. You nod, blinking tiredly.
"Alright Cas, goodnight." you say, walking up the stairs slowly.
"Goodnight." Cas responds, sitting back onto the couch. You creep over to the bed, crawling in beside Dean. The blankets move over your skin as you pull them up your body, curling beside Dean. You just sat there for a while, staring at the ceiling, thinking and worrying, you didn't go back to sleep after that.
----------------------------------------------
The sun crept through the cracks of the barn as it rose with the morning, shining onto the walls. For most of the night, you stared at Dean, still sleeping silently beside you. You've never loved anyone before, well, you've never really felt a lot if human emotion period. But when you were around Dean, everything was different, you felt wanted, like there was a reason for your existence. Deans arm lifts and wraps itself around your waist as you grumbles in his sleep. You smile slightly, moving your hands over the fabric of his white t-shirt. Sam twist and stretches in his bed with a groan, lifting his large and muscular body off of the mattress. His long legs tripping over themselves as he walks towards the door, his hair in his eyes as he shuts the door behind him. He must be tired from all this as well. Deans eyes flutter open tiredly, looking at you with a small, sleepy smile.
"You're awake?" He asks, voice deep from sleep.
"Yeah," you say in a small voice "I didn't really sleep well last night."
Dean frowns, pulling you closer to him. "Why is that?" He asks, moving your head to his chest. You shrug. what you want to say is that you are scared, that you are afraid, but you just can't tell him that, you don't want to seem weak.
Dean shakes his head "you know you can tell me anything, right?" He says, pulling back and looking into your eyes. You nod, looking at him carefully. He leans down and kisses you slowly, passionately, melting you instantly. His lips are warm and soft, the stubble on his chin gently scratching yours as his mouth moves in sync with your own. His tongue moves into your mouth, massaging yours with eagerness. You wrap your arm around his back, pulling him to you. His touch makes your body burn with want, need. He bites your bottom lip gently, making you gasp in surprise. He pulls back, resting his forehead on yours with a sigh. "Tell me what's wrong, please." He asks, looking into your eyes sadly. You shake your head, smiling slightly.
"It's nothing, Dean." you whisper, kissing him quickly before lifting from the mattress with a yawn. Your wings droop with tiredness as you stand from the bed, stumbling slightly as you walk towards the door. Dean stands with a grunt, following behind you. Cas fumbles with the coffee pot as he pours the dark liquid into three mugs sitting on top of the bar.
"Good morning." Cas says with a small smile. You smile back, taking one of the mugs, sipping it slowly. You examine the black and white checkered tile floor surrounding the small bar. The tiles worn and cracked from years of weather, the outer edges rigid and uneven.
"Y/n!" Dean says, snapping in front of you to get your attention. You shake your head quickly, getting out of thought.
"Y-yeah?" You say, sitting in one of the bar stools.
"Just checking if you're alright, you kinda zoned out for a second." he says, looking at you closely. You shrug, looking over at him.
"Just deep into thought I guess." you say with a small reassuring smile. He nods quickly, turning back to his coffee. "uh, Cas, did you hear anything?" You ask, taking another sip of the warm drink.
"N-no, it's dead quite." he says, wiping at his mouth. You shake your head in disbelief, this cannot be happening. You sigh deeply, standing from the stool, turning on your heels sharply.
"Y/n, where are you going?" Cas asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry. You turn towards him with a smile.
"Just going to the bathroom, Cas, don't worry about it." you say, turning and walking towards a door under the stairs. You lock the door behind you, sighing again. The small bathroom is nothing special. Just a toilet, sink, and a mirror. You just wanted to be alone for a while. You look at yourself in the dusty mirror, looking at your face closely. There are dark circles under your eyes, probably from lack of sleep. You looks terrible. Tears fall from your eyes as you close them, thinking about everything that is happening. It's all so overwhelming. You fall to the tiled floor, pulling your knees to your chest, sobbing silently as your wings wrap around you. You caused all this trouble for the boys. You hold back your cries, covering your mouth with your hand so the boys don't hear you.
"Y/n?, are you alright." you hear Deans voice whisper from the other side of the door.
"Y-yeah, Dean," you say, your voice cracking "I-I'm fine."
"Y/n, open this door." he whispers in a more stern voice. You shake your head silently, shuffling into the small corner of the bathroom. The door handle jiggles slightly as he tries to open it, his actions failing due to the lock. "y/n, please open the door." he says, his voice pleading.
"Dean..." you whimper out, not wanting him to see you like this.
"Y/n, I will break this door down." he says, voice louder, more frantic. Your body wouldn't move, you just sat there, sobbing. You can hear Dean fiddling with the lock, then a small click. The door opens slowly as Dean enters, his eyes filled with worry. "y/n, what's wrong?" Dean whispers, crouching beside you on the floor, shoving the lock pick into his pocket. You look away from him, not able to speak. He shakes his head, standing up from the floor.
"Dean, I-" you whisper, being cut off as Dean picks you up from the floor, wrapping your legs around his waist without saying a word. Your arms circle around his body as he carries you out of the bathroom. You grip the back of his neck as you lay your head on his shoulder, tears still falling from your eyes. He goes outside, carrying you to the middle of the field before setting you down gently on the grass, still damp with morning dew. You sniffle as you bring your knees back up to your chest, watching Dean closely as he sits in front of you.
"Please, y/n," Dean says, looking into your eyes "tell me what's wrong." he reaches forward, putting a hand on your cheek. You shake your head again, biting your bottom lip in worry.
"Y/n, you can tell me anything." he says, pressing his lips together. "Talk to me, please." You breathe in shakily, meeting his eyes as you uncurl yourself, moving so you were sitting with your leg crisscrossed.
"I-I'm..." you say, closing your eyes, new tears producing behind your eyelids "I'm afraid, Dean." you say shaking your head. "I'm afraid that I'm going to die, I'm afraid I'm going to get you, Cas, and Sam killed, I'm afraid of everything." you say quickly, practically sobbing out the words. He grabs your shoulders, making you look at him.
"Y/n, I understand, it's okay to be afraid, it's normal to be afraid." he says, searching your eyes.
"No Dean, it means I'm weak." you say, shaking your head again.
"No, it doesn't. I'm afraid too y/n, we are all afraid." he says, pulling you onto his lap, hugging you tightly against him. You grasp at his shirt, holding him close to you as you sob into his shoulder. It's normal to be afraid. That's the first time someone has ever said that to you.
"You're afraid?" You say, your voice muffled by his shoulder. He nods, rubbing your back softly, petting your wings softly.
"Almost everyday of my life I'm afraid."
You stay quite a while, at a loss of words, just holding him tightly. After what feels like forever, you lift your head off his shoulder, looking into his eyes. He puts a hand on your cheek, wiping away the tears with a slight, comforting smile. "it's okay." he says, kissing your forehead quickly. You nod, taking in a deep breath.
"So it's alright to be afraid, you don't think any less of me?" You ask, putting your hands on his shoulders.
"No, of coarse not." he says, shaking his head slightly. You sigh loudly in relief, looking into his eyes before kissing his lips with passion. He kisses you back with urgency, his fingers lacing into your hair, pulling gently. You sigh in content, pulling away from his lips slowly. He sighs loudly, looking into your eyes. "I love you." he whispers, leaning his forehead on yours.
"I love you too." you say, smiling softly. He wraps his arms under your legs, lifting you up as he stands. Your legs grip around his hips, your ankles locking around one another, hanging onto him as he walks back to the barn.
"Hey, you guys okay?" Sam asks as you walk through the doors, looking a little worried.
"Yeah, we're okay." Dean says, smiling at you. You smile back. This whole thing is a relief, you thought they would leave. That was a stupid thought. You should have known they wouldn't have left you, but still, it was a possibility at the time.
"Alright, we're having leftovers for lunch." Sam says, sipping a beer.
"Sounds good to me." you say, walking over to sit on the couch. Dean sits beside you, smiling. His smile fades suddenly.
"Dean, you okay?" You ask, putting a hand on his knee.
"Y-yeah it's just..." He trails off, grabbing his head and groaning in pain.
"Dean, what's going on?" You say, body filling with fear.
"I-I..." he looks at you, blinking rapidly "I hear something... In my head... A voice..."he says, looking at you frantically. All of you a silent for a moment before Sam speaks up.
"Are you being serious?" Sam asks, worry in his eyes.
"Y-yeah, I'm sure it's a voice" Dean says, rubbing his temples gently.
"Do you know who's voice it is?" Sam asks, sitting beside his brother.
Dean pauses, looking at you "yeah, It's... Crowley's."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N- thanks for reading!! Sorry for the cliff-hanger! I will update ASAP! I love you all so much! 😘