Fire at will. ||Thiam||

22. I'll be okay.

Trigger warning: high functioning (meaning anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks and depression) if you are sensitive to that I suggest no reading this chapter.

A couple days passed and Liam was doing everything in his power to avoid Theo. He was still extremely mad at him. There was only one problem about his master plan of avoidance, his physical attraction to the chimera. He'd been having dreams at least twice a night now and every time he saw Theo he just wanted to rip all of his clothes off.

This continued on for like a week until, luckily for Liam, he was allowed to go to school again. Liam was surprisingly happy about returning to finish his senior year, more then he'd ever been before. After Talia had checked him a minimum of five times he was allowed to come back home to his parents. His stepfather still wasn't home but his mom was and he was glad to see her again.

Liam was happy that his life seemed to be going back to normal. He knew how to deal with normal, crazy murderous vendetta bitches that kidnapped him he did not. The last couple of days had been absolute peace, nothing was expected from him and because he had been  reported missing he wouldn't have to catch up with any of his homework.

Liam met up with Mason and Corey ten minutes before school to discuss what they had missed, Corey had emailed all of the teachers. Liam was confident that this day would be good. Better.

His heart pounded in his chest as if it were trying to escape. His hands shook without his control. Shivers went up his spine and sweat broke all over his body. He needed to get out of there so he ran. His mouth felt dry and he couldn't breath. He ran to the bathroom with blurry vision and tears were spilling out of his eyes. But he didn't care he just wanted to breath so badly it only panicked him more when it didn't work.

His hands kept shaking even as he tried to open the bathroom stall door and locked it. His need to breath had turned into hyperventilating. His chest felt like it carried the weight of thirty bricks. His hugged his knees tightly in the hopes of regaining some stability. It seriously felt as if he was dying.

Tears kept rolling over his cheeks as he tried to breath. "I'll be okay. I'll be okay." He told himself repeatedly, rocking back and forth on the cold floor.

He slowly calmed down a little bit, still crying and shaking but regaining the ability to breath properly. He never realised how normal he found it till he lost it. His breathing stabilised but the tears kept running. He couldn't control it and he absolutely hated that feeling.

He was still on the floor when the bell rang showing that classes had ended and it was break time. He stood up and wiped away his tears knowing that within seconds the bathroom would be filled with people, who he was certain he did not want to see him cry.

His hands kept shaking way to much for his liking as he turned on the water faucet and drenched his head in the cold liquid hiding his tears to the world. A dude from a year below him walked in and looked at him a little weird before stepping in a stall. Slowly more people started coming in and Liam decided it was time to leave.

His face was still dripping with water as he reached Mason and Corey.

"Wow man. You look like shit." Liam gave Mason a cynical smile. "Where did you go bro? You just ran out of class."

"I uhm I needed some air. I felt a little claustrophobic so I needed some air." It wasn't a complete lie but it certainly wasn't the truth either.

Liam had felt locked up in the classroom and had gotten flashbacks. It made his finger shake but he shrugged it off. Then slowly his whole hand had started to shake and a slight sense of panic had crowded his mind and body. His breathing had gotten heavier and more difficult and he felt like he needed to get out of there so he ran.

Liam went and sat next to Corey pretending like nothing happened whilst secretly sitting on his hand so he wouldn't show to anyone how much it was shaking.

Theo on the other hand wasn't doing any better. He was healing way slower then he should merely because he didn't believe he should be healing at all according to Deaton. He spent his days avoiding Liam, afraid that the beta would go for round two with his feelings and he really couldn't handle that so instead he sat on the couch all day. He had no interest in returning to beacon hills as Mason, Corey and Liam had done.

No he rather stay on Talia's couch watching Friends. The show had become his comfort show being incredibly predictable and easy.

Talia and Stiles returned to school and their best friend status again and that only left Derek to watch over the slightly depressed chimera. Derek had tried his absolute hardest not to be Theo's 'babysitter' as he called it but stiles had nagged him so hard he couldn't help but give in.

Plus there were more horrible fairs then sitting on a couch all days with a mostly silent Theo. Derek just worked out most of the time so really it was a perfect mix. Derek liked the quietness of the chimera and the chimera appreciated the fact that derek didn't ask any hard questions or kept bugging him with 'talk to Liam" talks.

Theo felt empty and hollow. He wanted to do everything but could do nothing. In his head he had all kinds of things he wanted to do but he had absolutely no motivation nor the energy to do so. He could feel himself falling into a deep put and he clung on to the small strand of Derek and the hope that Liam will one day forgive him.

But until then the only physical activity he could push himself into doing was three pushups and four sit-ups just for the feeling he'd done something at the end of the day. It was ridiculous, he knew that, but still.

Liam was now back at school and it felt as if his life force was drained with him. Theo wasn't suicidal and most definitely didn't want to take his own life but he felt emotionally drained. He didn't want to be one of those people who's life ends when their significant other leaves them but here he was, sitting in front of the tv with a bag of chips, dreading the moment Talia would come home because she would scold him for sure.

Theo missed Liam. He didn't know how he had ever survived without him but he never wants to do it again.

A/N sorry for the short and messy chapter. It's a bit of a filler that I wrote at 5 am. I haven't slept at all so some of my sentences probably don't make any sense. If you could correct them please, I will edit them out tomorrow. I am going to sleep now. Bye bye