Cypher, Ruby and Lily being dumb (Incorrect Quotes 3)

Start from the beginning
                                        

Cypher: WHO ARE YOU?!

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Lily, to Ruby: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Ruby, motioning to themself and Cypher: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

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Ruby: You kill people for money?!

Cypher: I can explain!

Ruby: And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

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Ruby: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine

Ruby: i became more evil if you're curious

Cypher: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!

Ruby: i'm going to get worse on purpose

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Lily: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Cypher: Oh, you've been?

Lily: Once. In Monopoly.

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Lily: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Ruby: Thank you

Lily: I didn't say that was a good thing

Ruby: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

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Lily: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Ruby: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.

Lily: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

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Ruby: We need a distraction.

Lily: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Cypher, whispering: My time has come

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Ruby: Hey Lily,

Lily: Yes?

Ruby: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?

Lily:

Lily: Where's Cypher?

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Ruby: If Lily and I were drowning, who would you save?

Cypher: You two can't swim?

Lily: It's a hypothetical question, Cypher! who would you save?

Cypher: my time and effort.

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Lily: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

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Lily: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Ruby: Oh, I’m always running

Ruby: The question is from what

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Lily: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Ruby: You people already know too much about me.

Cypher: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

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Cypher: Ruby...

Ruby: Oh no, 'Ruby' in b-flat.

Ruby: You're disappointed

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Cypher: This is such a bad idea.

Ruby: Then why are you coming along?

Cypher: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Cypher : Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Lily: How can you still say that?

Cypher : Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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Cypher : I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

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Lily: What is your biggest weakness?

Ruby: I can be uncooperative.

Lily: Okay, can you give me an example?

Ruby: No.

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Ruby: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Lily: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Cypher: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Ruby: Good thinking.

~

Ruby: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Lily: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Ruby: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Cypher: edible

~

(I know I have done this one already, but it's accurate for them-)

Ruby: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Cypher: Alright.

Ruby: TraitorSayWhat?

Lily: Excuse me?

Ruby: What?

Cypher:

Ruby:

Ruby: No wait-

~

Lily: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Cypher does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Ruby: If Cypher were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Cypher jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Lily: You jump off a cliff!

Ruby: Gladly. Provided Cypher did first.

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