Luke Patterson's Lover // Julie and The Phantoms

I Can't Take It

(Trigger warning - Contains suicide so if this triggers you please don't read after the boys funeral line.)

I arrive at Luke's house.

Emily - Oh Laura. What a surprise.

Laura - May I come in?

Emily - Oh yes my dear.

Laura - Is Mitch home?

She nods and gets him.

Laura - You both need to sit down.

Mitch - Is everything ok?

Laura - ... Luke is in hospital and they said they will call the boy's parents houses for further information. I came here to see if there is anything. An update. I have never loved someone more than I love Luke.

Emily and Mitch come in for a hug. We sit on the couch and wait for something to happen. Half an hour goes by and the police are at the front door. Emily starts crying and Mitch asks me to answer.

Laura - Hello

Police Officer - Are Luke Patterson's parents home?

Laura - Yes but they are expecting bad news, so just tell me.

Police Officer - Luke and his friends didn't make it. I'm sorry to tell you.

Laura - Thank you sir.

I slowly close the door and start sobbing.

Mitch - Oh sweetie.

We all hug each other and start crying. Bobby comes and picks me up. I'm quiet the whole time. I go straight to my room and scream at the top of my lungs.

Laura - AHHHHHHHHH. WHY DID YOU TAKE LUKE. WHY DID YOU WANT MY HEALTHY HAPPY LUKE. AHHHHHHHHH.

Mom - May I come in?

Laura - GO AWAY!

Days go by. I joined Emily and Mitch at the boys funeral. I give Rose the song we wrote together the day after the boys passed. It was a 3 day process

I haven't eaten, nor gone to school. I've locked myself in my room. I try to write a letter explaining my next move, but I can't do it. So I gather the guts to go into the garage and find the video camera.

Laura - I hope this is recording... Hello... My name is Laura Wilson. I was in a band called Sunset Curve as a dancer. They included my brother and his friends. Sadly his friends passed away. One of them was my boyfriend. Luke was always here, never forgotten. For the band I'm going to dance to their new song they didn't perform together at The Orpheum.

I play the stereo and start dancing. It feels like they are here with me. The song finishes and I stop recording. I download it to a dvd disc and put it in a box filled with their memo, a t-shirt and some other stuff that has meaning. I write on the box "Leave for whoever new lives here"

I go back into the house. Everyone is gone. Mom and dad are working and Bobby is at school. I walk to my bedroom and write a note.

"Dear Mom, Dad, Bobby and/or whoever reads this. I want you to know this is no one's fault. Depression is getting worse. I know you guys have done so much to help with my depression, but without Luke, I'm nothing. I don't think I can live without Luke. He was my rainbow after the storm. He was my rock. He was my soul. People say they are with us always, but it doesn't feel like it. I don't think I could love anyone else other than Luke. I love you guys. You have done so much for me, but without Luke. I can't go on. Please don't think you should've done something, nothing can bring my Luke back. Live for me"

I place the note on my bed then I walk to the bathroom. I start to fill the tub up...

I take my last breath...