His blurred eyes

Not there

He gets nauseous fast. I remember he had to throw up in his moms bag once.
It was very funny.

After 5 rides, he puked. Just as I predicted.

What can I say? I'm a smartass.
The day passed by like a flash.
Now we're walking.

Eating cotton candy while recalling what we did today. Kids still running around us.

The cotton candy feels heavy on my stomach and for some reason I can't eat more. I simply look at it. Plucking some here an there.

I feel guilty.

"Are you okay?" I guess he saw my saddened look and asked what was going on.

I smile a little before answering:
"Do you mind if we cut this day short?"
He smiles back and shakes his head.

"Not at all, come on. I'll drop you off."
I thank him and we drive off.

My thoughts only belonging to Aziel. I can't describe the amount of guilt I'm feeling.
I thank Rey one more time before getting out of the silent car.

I don't waste any time as I find myself in the dark room already.
"Aziel?"

I switch the light button on. Angel wakes up by it. All that doggie does is sleeping.

"Angel have you seen Aziel?"

I'm so hopeless that I ask my freaking puppy. Obviously Angel's lazy butt didn't answer my question.

"Aziel! Where are you?"
I move to the bathroom. Not there.

"Come on Aziel. I'm here! Please talk to me!"
I run to the balcony. Not there.

I grip my hair in frustration. My eyes start tearing up. Did he leave? Leave me alone?

God no.

"Aziel! Please where are you!"
I go up the stairs to the rooftop. I am about to break down.

Not there.

"Nova?"

Yes!! I turn a 360 degrees circle and face the man, looking at me with lost eyes. Circles under his eyes. Different ones I haven't seen before.

"Aziel!"
I run to that mothefucker and engulf him in a big bear hug.

My head sinks into his right shoulder and his black tee absorbs the endless tears I let out.

"What's wrong?"
His calm voice asks me as his arms move to hug me back. Resting on my back.

"I-I'm so sorry."

I feel terrible. I don't know what came over me when I said those mean words. His hurt look didn't leave my mind all day. I'm so guilty.

"I didn't mean any of it. Please don't leave me. I'm so sorry Aziel. I-I..."

I stutter over my words because of the never ending tears. One of his hands move up and down.

Comforting and soothing me.

"It's alright, Nova."
"I don't believe you."

Aziel pushes me off him. I expect hurtful words attacking me. My eyes don't leave the ground. Not facing Aziel.

"Nova?"
Here it goes. Here comes his lecture.

His farewell. His hatred. His-
Aziel cups my cheeks. His two thumbs keep on wiping my salty tears away.

"Look at me."

I don't want to make him more upset than he already is so I do as he ordered.

My green eyes meet his twinkling ones. A soft smile on his face that calms my nerves.
"It's okay, alright?"

My lips get bitten by my anxious self. Aziel took this as a sign I still don't feel reassured.

"You want me to bring white-eyed Aziel up?"
"No! No! No.." I scream as his arms were losing their grip around me.

His deep voice chuckles.
"Good...now come on. Let's sit down. You're breathing pretty fast."

Aziel leads me to the two cushions on the ground. It's true.

I ran all the way up here and it worked on my astma, again. Like always.

"If you ran like you're mouth, you'd be in good shape."

I laugh audibly at his joke. It's true.
"It's a pity, isn't it?"

"No...Next time, I'll just be there to carry you."
I internally smile at the words.

"Next time?" I ask. As a way to make sure he won't leave me. He's the only one I have left.
Aziel holds me close in his arms. His head on mine.

"Next time."

That night we made a promise. The promise that he'll never leave me. That he'll keep on protecting me. That he'll give me his warmth.

The promise...that will get out of hand.