Folie à Deux [Yandere Guardian x Abused Female Reader]

28. Descending.

Mr. Eamon O'Dargan lay on his bed looking up at the white ceiling trying to pick out images in the abstract texture of the paint to distract himself from his current troubles. He was incredibly fatigued, so much so that he barely had the strength to haul himself out of bed to call and tell Jose that he was taking a sick day before he crawled back to bed, exhausted from fighting himself for weeks.

He had tried so hard to fight, to destroy his growing attraction towards Y/N. He had tried all of Julien's suggestions, along with repeating the words of Murphy's story to scare himself off his current path but none of it had worked.

If anything, he found himself growing more attracted to her with every day that passed despite his many resistances. He knew that it was wrong, perverse, he had been sick several times at the meer thought of how he felt. That didn't make the feelings go away though, nothing made them go away.

He ran a hand through his hair, his face felt like it was burning up as his fingers brushed against it. He was feverish, even though he wasn't sick all the stress he had suffered made it feel like he was. Hell, with these feelings I hold for Y/N I am sick, he thought bitterly as he bit his lip, sick in the head.

Eamon felt like bursting into tears, everything within him had been in turmoil for the past few weeks. His body and the lower part of his psyche desperately longed for Y/N while his rationality along with every moral compass he had berated the wrongness of those feelings. I can't go on like this, but nothing I've tried has worked.

He screwed up his face, trying to keep his bile down as he pushed away the memories reminding him that the day that had started everything in the shower hadn't been the only time that he had given in and indulged his lower self in twisted pleasure. He felt so disgusted just thinking about it, but no matter how nauseated it made him it was so addicting that he couldn't keep himself from repeating it. I could open up about this, but the chain reaction would be awful, I'd go to jail, the law firm's name would be ruined along with José's due to association with me, Y/N would be removed from my custody and placed in the foster system, and god only knows what would happen to her after that.

His heart hammered in his chest as he thought about all the people who would be negatively affected. If it was really the right thing to do why would so many innocent people be punished just for their relationship with him? Alright, maybe putting myself behind bars isn't the best course of action, Eamon emended after playing that future out in his head, but what other choice do I have?

He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down enough that he could try and brainstorm a new course of action that would keep everyone around him safe, especially Y/N.  I suppose I could consider sending her away to a private boarding school, The thought occurred to him after several minutes and he felt a flicker of hope. I've wanted to get her out of that run-down high school for a while now, But boarding school girls can be so cruel and Y/N is so timid already, or what if one of her teaches finds her attractive in the same way that I do, it's not outside the realm of possibility and I would be too far away to protect her. He gritted his teeth as he felt rage boil up in him at the thought of Y/N being in danger outside the sphere of his protection, especially if it was from some disgusting mad who desired her the same way he was beginning to. In his mind, if she had the magnetism to have such an effect on a placid and regimented man like him he shuddered to imagine what would happen if she caught the eye of someone with a more wild nature.

So, scratch the boarding school idea, he groaned, rubbing his burning face. He felt so exhausted and dejected.
Damn it! He was so tired of this conflict raging inside of him, it was draining him of all his resolve and discipline little by little.

He closed his eyes and tried taking some deep breaths to calm himself again. As he lay there the image of Y/N's face imprinted itself in his mind's eye, she smiled and laughed as she looked at him and he felt a thrill of excitement run through him against his will at the sight. Ugh! Why do I feel this way! Tears began building up beneath his closed eyes that he didn't even have the energy to open
I know it's wrong, every part of me is screaming about the immoralness of my desires, but for the life of me I can't destroy them no matter how hard I try!

Teardrops traced their way down his flushed face. He felt spent, his head was spinning from agony and confusion. I just want this to end, to be gone! I just want to escape!

Suddenly, his mind cleared enough that he could push himself up into a sitting position. He felt numb, and at the same time the weight of what he was becoming weighed down on him with crushing and excruciating force. I need to escape from this, he had an idea of something he could do, it was a last resort but it was all he had left. I'm going to collapse in on myself otherwise.

Eamon got out from under the covers and got dressed quickly before he hurried down the stairs. He was grateful to bump into his housekeeper in the living room on his way to the front door. "Annie, see that Y/N gets to bed at a reasonable time," He told her, pulling on his coat and leaving before she could ask where he was going. "I'm going out."

A/N

You can say what you want about Eamon, but at least he's trying.

Until next time I'll see you on the other side

~J. C. Coltt.~