Stay || Benny The Jet Rodriguez

Decisions

July 17, 2021

Why was this decision so hard for me? I could stay and be happy with Benny and play with the guys at the sandlot every day. Something was just making me not want to leave Texas. I grew up there, my whole childhood is there. I obviously knew I'd have to move on from my childhood someday, but I didn't think it would be this soon.

I've been going along with the whole staying in California thing so Benny would be happy, but I really wasn't sure if that's what I wanted.

There was a lot of pressure on me. My dad would go wherever I said, whether it was back to Texas or to Joe's house. Don't get me wrong, I love Joe, but I just love Texas a little bit more.

"Okay, so you have the choice to stay with Benny and your Gran in California, or go back home and leave everything behind?" Phillips said as he threw a baseball up in the air and caught it again.

I watched him through the screen as I laid on my bed thinking about everything.

"Basically, yeah." I shrugged my shoulders with my elbows on the bed and hands holding up my chin.

"Why don't you sound more excited about that?" he threw the ball up and caught it again, "do you not hear what you're saying? You could stay in California!"

"I know," I said blankly.

He caught the ball once again and stared at me through the screen.

"You are gonna stay right?" Logan asked confusedly as he set the ball next to him.

"I don't know, " I moved my hands off my chin and let my head fall, and land face down on my bed.

"You have to stay, it would kill Benny if you left," he said as if it was that easy.

I knew it would. That was the only downside of going back to Texas.

"I mean I could just face time him every day like I do with you," I said picking my head back up and looking at him with a miserable face.

"Even you know that wouldn't work," he said reading me like an open book.

"I could think of something, " I said almost desperately, "I'd drive back every chance I could with my dad, like for winter break and stuff."

"Long-distance never works Moore, you of all people should know that from the number of love movies you watch," he said like it was obvious.

"It could be different for Benny and me. We both love each other, and he knows I would never cheat on him just like he would never cheat on me." I said trying to convince myself that a long-distance would work.

"What makes you want to go back to Texas so badly that not even Benny can convince you to stay?" he asked picking his phone up and moving from his desk to his bed.

"My mom is in Texas. She's all over that house." I said finally getting it off my chest, "if I left Texas for good, I'd be leaving my mom behind too, and I can't do that to her."

"Oh," Phillips said regretting he ever asked or tried to convince me to stay.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Then just tell that to Benny, I'm sure he'll understand, " he said in a soothing voice.

"But like you said, it would kill him," I plopped my head face down onto my bed again.

"Well, maybe it wouldn't kill him, " Phillips said in an attempt to make me feel better.

"It definitely would," I said not picking my face up, "he even told me yesterday when he was apologizing that even though he had his family back together, it wasn't the same without me."