Verbatim [h.s]

Twenty-Eight *

Three gunshots.

Three loud gunshots.

I flinch harder with each one that is fired after the other. I grab onto Harry for dear life and he doesn't move a muscle. He doesn't flinch or react, but he does hold me as tight as possible to his chest. As soon as the first one was fired I shut my eyes, screwing them closed, praying this wasn't real. My mind was struggling to catch up with what was happening as it just began spiralling and the flashbacks began.

I could hear Harry saying something, people yelling and moving about but it was as if I was underwater. Everything felt so far away yet so close and almost within reach. My body began to move, with each step I tried to take it was unsteady. If it wasn't for Harry's arms wrapped around my waist and shoulders, I would've tumbled down the first step we took.

Still with my eyes shut, I feel us move around the bar as it hits my back but I don't move, I keep my body strapped to Harry's. I now hear Nialls voice, his and Harrys are a little clearer but I can't define the words as flashes of black and white cover my mind.

The noise.

God, the noise.

I can hear even more gunshots. On repeat. My head is pounding and my body is shaking. I know the sounds aren't real otherwise Harry and others wouldn't be standing behind this damn bar. But they're in my head. That night on a constant loop.

The sweat. The club. The suffocation. The panic. The dread. The pain.

As soon as I hit the part of the pain my hands automatically fly up to my right shoulder gripping onto it. This is the only movement I have made since the three shots and I feel Harry pull away from me. I wish I could open my eyes and see his face right about now but I can't. I can't will my eyes to open.

Instead, I pull my body away from Harry's more and then fall to floor. I land with a hard thud but I feel Harry follow me down, he's saying something but I can't hear him still. I try to grasp onto the small strands of his voice seeping through my flashbacks but it's pointless. Again, the loop begins.

The sweat. The club. The suffocation. The panic. The dread. The pain.

Now, my shoulder hurts even more I cry out in agony.

"She's hurt." I hear Niall's voice loud as it booms through but I can't argue against him. I need relief.

Without waiting a beat, I throw my leather jacket off in hurried motions and I struggle when it snags on my arm. I presume Harry can see my struggle as I feel him help me remove it which I flinch at originally, still half consumed by my flashback. Once it is off, I reach for my cropped jumper immediately pulling it up and over my head. I can hear Harry's voice clearer now,

"Niall fuck off. Go see what's going on over there." He spits Niall's way and I hear him take a deep breath before his heavy footsteps leave behind the bar. I manage to pull the jumper over my head and throw it somewhere before my hand finds my shoulder again, gripping onto it so hard I know there will be bruises tomorrow. I need relief from this pain.

I don't even care that I'm sat here in my bra, that is the least of my concerns right about now.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrap one arm around them and bury my head in between my knees crying out trying to rid the pain. The panic is rushing through my body so fast and so intense I feel like I won't survive. My breathing is choppy and it is then I am thrown back to the flashback once more, a harsh hand is holding my mouth shut as I struggle to breathe and scream. I really can't breathe now.

With sharp inhales, I try to steady my racing heart but it's no use. I feel like I'm losing this battle. And I had completely forgotten Harry was sat right before me until I feel his large calloused hand along my back. I couldn't help but flinch and pull away, which he stopped and then slowly but carefully began caressing small circles on my back.