*DNF oneshots*

count ~angst

Umm i again hope u enjoy please be prepared for triggers. If you feel uncomfortable you can skip.

Warning:
Suicide attempts
Self harm
Self hatred
Abuse

Dreams pov
~ He wears long sleeves baggy clothes keep his eyes locked on the ground. God i must look so bloody fat. They must hate having me around. Mabey just mabey if i blend in the wont notice me. I would never want to bother George  and the others with my hideous body.

~ Hides his face no one knows that his world if falling down. "YOU SELFISH BRAT I WORK ALL DAY AND SLAVE WAY, YET YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE YOURSELF FUCKING AND HAVE DINNER (again I'm British sue me) READY FOR THE TIME I GET BACK" she screamed violently at the poor boy. "YOU, YOU ARE THE REASON YOU FARTHER LEFT. IF-IF-IF YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT. IT YOUR FAULT "Yes mother, i know mother " is all he replied in a mellow calm voice admitting defeat.

~ Was king be but then his crown fell, had no enemies but himself. "You caused this" "if you just disappeared no one would notice" "die die die" that was all he could hear his mimd was clogged with voice. The never stop, silence al he wanted was silence. Yet they followed him everywhere.

~Come to lunch and you'll see him spitting in a bathroom stall.  All he could see were his salty useless tear. Crying made you weak. Crying wouldn't fixs anything. So he decided he would.

~He dancing on the edge hes scared hes gonna fall. Hes clinging on now growing tired everyday. Up there with the wind in my hair know that this is where i was gonna die pleased me. They never got to, no they never tried to know me. So I'll leave everything i have to offer here. Myself. Hes wondering what i would be like to take his hands away.

So he counts

5 seconds breathe it through. That's what George always told me tonde before i made a irrational decision.

Then you'll start to count again.

4 second count the reasons why today is not the end. 1. I won't get to marry George. 2. I would miss George. 3 my mum will get the money grampa gave me in his will. And 4. Satnap and karl would forget to look after themselves.

3 second breath.  I will so miss this coming up hear away from people. Peace just peace. The only times the voices aren't there.

2 second doubt. But is leave really the best decision, it a all the old bitch wants me to do. And obeying her is the last thing i wan5 to do.

The last second filled with pain. Don't you dare give up now. I turn around and to my horror i see George satnap karl and big Q all staring back at me. I feel guilty. No no no do be ignore them this is 100% what i want and they'll be happy so it a win-win situation.

5 second breathe it through then you start to count again. "No George I've done that..... please just.... just let me leave." "I know it self but i need to... don't make this harder for me." Was all i said i wouldn't cry. No. Not now, not any more.

4 seconds count the reason why today is not the end. Slowly quality step forward, "Dream, no clay" his voice was so calm. It was as if she was talking to a child in distress. (which he basically was.) "If you can't find any reasons to stay let us be your reasons. Back away and let us help.

3 second breath. Deep down i knew they were right. But i couldn't figure out why they would want me.

2 seconds doubt.  What if they are right. They seem like a pretty good reason for me to stay.

The last second he felt strength to pull back out. They were right they alway were. The one out come i wanted was for them to be happy. I swear they all would have been happier. So why are they so fucking convinced thay they need me.

                     So i climed back down
I felt so torn and broken. Yet all i need was them, we were my trust, they were my reason...... they were my anchor for this world. And what was all the reason i needed.

"I know it's hard i know some times you wish it wasn't you" karl said as they all hugged me. "I know sometimes you feel like you can't make it through" he continued. To say i wasn't crying would be a lie, it took all my strength not to ball my eyes out. But i could only be strong for so long.

"I know somtime you feel like nobody would know if u just disappeared" George said. "Stop it" i screamed but no noise followed. "I know you feel so alone" they kept talk, all they were say was true. Their words were harsh but there was no anger or malice in them only care and love. It hurt. No it didn't hurt because i hurt them no it didn't hurt because they were pushing against the cuts and bruises on my body. It hurt because it took me this long to realise they wanted me. They loved me. And i was such a bloody idiot to realise that. God I'm so fucking dumb.

"You can't have the sunrise without night" i said, im pretty sure all of us were cry at this point. But i continued anyways, "I'm getting stronger everyday, I have to fight." Then suddenly George grabbed my face and looked into my eyes and my soul. (If this was a sad time i swear i would have raile- ok ok I'll stop) never in my life have i seen someone love so mad and sad yet he was so loving and sensire it shocked clay. They were looking dead into eachothers eyes until George said "so don't you dare let go before you see the sun, your times not fucking done." God i love him what would i do without him, what would i do without them all.

5 Seconds breathe it through then you'll start to count again

4 second count the reasons why today is not the end

3 seconds breath

2 seconds now

The last second, push away that pain, push away that doubt

"5 second breath it through then you'll start to count again" they all said after a couple of minutes.

"4 seconds" i say "I can promise you today is not the end" and this time i meant it. I would never dare to hurt anyone of them like this again.

3 seconds breath. We all calmed down and were sat together. It felt like 10 minutes but we had been there for 2 hours. It was already 5:15 pm.

2 seconds now. In my whole miserable life these were the moments i prayed for. Imagine it i was the reason they couldn't enjoy this.

The last second you found strength and pulled yourself back out. There is no where i would rather be because right here, right now, these crazy stupid idiots meant everything to   
me.

                            This is my family
                          They are my reason
                               This is why i
                                    Count
1220 i think so give me request i personally like writing angst but everything if fun. I hope u enjoy.