Harry can't stop himself. He wants and needs to touch his boy right there, right now. Regardless of them being filmed by several cameras. But yes, in that moment it was everything. The touch was everything for both of them. They felt unbeatable and...
As soon as she is mentioned, I'm not the only one who feels sick to the gut- Louis is looking down trying to avoid eye contact which is apparently working because he doesn't dare look up to me. It pains me so much. I hate this. All of this so much.
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„Zayn, stop!", I try to laugh it off afterwards with a casual smile.
„Dude, he's blushing! He TOTALLY got some, last night! Damn Harry, the ladies just fall at your feet huh?", Liam says out loud.
„Stop, Li. Please I'm not in the mood.", it's starting to piss me off. But I can't be angry because they don't deserve it. They're just boys being boys,,, I guess? But it hurts even more seeing that Louis is still looking down, trying to be invisible but little does he know that he's the only thing on my mind right now.
„Come on Harry, just tell us!" Liam begs.
„A true gentleman never tells."
„Damn, Harry! Admit it! Come on we need some juice. We're all single and need something interesting to talk about! Admit it!", Zayn pushes.
Okay, damn? This next move is really going to be a dickhead one but I don't have any choice. The guys are just to possessive and will mostly not give up until I give in.
„Okay fine god damn it! I fucked her okay? We fucked! We had sex multiple times and it was mind blowing! We- " and then I was interrupted by laughter. Zayn, Niall and Liam were laughing and shouting. Now some people turned their heads to look at us and gave us their attention. Awkward.
„Damnnn, bro! Get some!"
„Good job little Harry! Hahaha!"
Why was this such a big deal for them? Whatever, at least now they stopped harassing me with their annoying questions. Still, Louis wasn't looking at me.
„So, you guys dating now or what's the deal?" Damn, more annoying questions.
„Nah, Liam. Can we now please please stop talking about her."
Louis stoop up suddenly and left the table in a hurry.
„What's his deal hahah", Zayn asks.
What the fuck his deal is? His deal is that he wants to be with someone and isn't allowed. He's being closeted you idiot! He wants to be free and young. He wants to be himself without any limits, without rules, without containments. Perhaps he's sick of being a superficial media- version of Louis. He wants to finally be true to himself and his needs-but he can't. He just wants freedom.
„Nothing...", I say.
Hours passed, we eventually got ready and packed for our continuing journey on the 1D tour bus. We were half way to Manchester. Zayn and Liam spent their time playing stupid video games, Niall was playing air guitar and listening to some tunes with his headphones and Louis.... Louis was sitting on the little couch in the corner of the main room of the huge bus, doing... doing nothing. Literally nothing. He was simply crawled up into his sky- blue fluffy blanket and staring into the air. If you'd be oblivious to the problems and conflicts this young, innocent boy had to deal with in reality , you'd just sit there and think to yourself: Wow, what a truly peaceful and wonderful human.
Well, yes he was obviously. But he was also full of problems and anxieties. My poor Lou. I wish I could just attack him right now and hug him so hard.
Instead I took out my phone and searched his name in my contacts.
Hi.
I always text hi when I don't know what else to say.
After I pressed send, I look up to him. A split second later I see his phone, which is rested on the white wooden table in front of him, glow up. He reacts to the light of his display, tilts his head in the direction of the phone and looks down to read the notification. Seconds later he looks up to find my eyes. His eyes meet mine. Blue meets green.
But to my disappointment, he doesn't grab his phone to respond. He just leaves it here, stands up and leaves the room. My heart shatters and I feel my stomach turning and twisting. Oh, what a disgusting feeling it is to feel distant to your person.
And before I know it, the 4 hours of driving are over. We arrived. Hello, Manchester.
