At All Cost

21- Opening up

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
Natalie talks about some of the pain from her past and what John did to her. (Rape) I don't go into great detail about it and I don't know what or how it triggers people but I don't want to upset anyone❤️
Read at your own risk.

Natalie's P.O.V.

It was 6:00 am, I couldn't sleep anymore. I sat up in bed and looked over at Dylan. Even if I wanted to, I didn't hate him. He admitted he couldn't stop thinking about me and honestly he was always on my mind too, but it didn't matter because he wasn't my focus right now.

It was still raining out and according to the two guys I'm currently stuck in this situation with it's supposed to rain most of the day today too.

I got up quietly and wrapped a blanket around my body so I could let Cody outside to go to the bathroom. I stood on the porch watching Cody when I heard the door open and felt Dylan behind me.

"You're not going to run are you?" He whispered.

"I should, but I won't. I don't need the Mafia looking for me too." I teased.

He was standing close behind me now. "Thank you for bringing Cody to me and for helping me. Even though I don't seem grateful, I really am."

Cody came back, Dylan opened the door letting Cody inside but stopped me from going in. "You're welcome and again I'm sorry I lied to you but you didn't exactly tell the truth either, Red?"

I looked him straight in his eyes, "You already knew the truth about me and if you were running from a deranged wife, I wouldn't blame you for lying to me. You have no idea what I went through with John, Dylan. I didn't lie to you to hurt you... I lied to protect you."

I went inside. I put the blanket down and went to use the bathroom. Coming back out I saw that Justin was up too.

"You boys hungry? I'm making..." I looked in the fridge and freezer to see what we had. "Omelets."

"I'll help you." Dylan offered.

Justin started the coffee, while Dylan and I got the omelets ready.

When I was cooking I looked over at Dylan, "Does Grey know where we are?"

"No, he thought it was best if he didn't know. He knows we're with you and that Aarons still involved. Derek and Aaron are the only ones that know our location." Dylan confirmed.

I nodded as I handed Justin his omelet.

"How did you get involved with The Rynes and Aaron?" Dylan asked.

I sighed, how do I tell two cops I asked Aaron to kill my husband? "You're questioning me and I think it's best if I don't answer questions."

"Natalie, I want to help you. Like it or not I care about you. This isn't Dylan the detective, it's just me... Dylan."

I handed him his plate, "You do realize you're the same person, right?"

Justin started laughing while Dylan just kept staring at me.

"I asked them for help, I'm sick of running. The few days I left Washington, I did go to California but it was to ask them for help." I put my omelet on my plate and sat down next to the guys.

"Help?"

"Yep!" I said, hoping he would stop questioning me now.

"So you thought going to the Mafia was the best option here?"

I looked at him, I wasn't sure if I heard him right. "What exactly should I have done Dylan? I didn't have many options here. I don't know if your just stupid or trying to piss me off again?"

"I'm trying to understand. What did you ask Aaron to do?"

"You know what, I think I've shared enough. Don't worry about it."

I started eating my food, "This is really good, Natalie." Justin said as Dylan nodded his head in agreement.

"Thank you. I love cooking, I'm hoping to open my own bakery someday. It's kind of a far off dream but fingers crossed."

We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence but I could tell Dylan was thinking about something.

"Dylan what is it?" I questioned.

"I don't want you getting in trouble Red, if you went to the Rynes and Aaron I doubt they will help you out legally."

"You're thinking way too much about this, everything will be fine."

"I don't think it will be." Dylan argued.

I looked over at Justin, "Is he always this annoying?"

Justin laughed, "Yes, but that's our job and he cares about you, which means I care about you because he's my best friend. You just need to trust us."

Dylan laid his hand on top of mine. "We know what you went through with John, we understand,-"

"You will never begin to understand what I went through with John. Feeling like I was never good enough, I tried everything to make that man happy... EVERYTHING! It was never enough, he still went out and cheated on me. He even knocked some chick up, did you know that? She had the nerve to call me and ask me to leave him. I was gladly going to, my way out right?" I started laughing, "No! I wasn't that lucky. He killed that woman and their unborn child days after she called me, Dylan. He beat and raped me constantly... so don't sit there and begin to understand what I've been through."

"Natalie?" Dylan said as they both looked at me with sadness in their eyes.

I got up and went over to the futon to get the file I knew they wanted answers on. "Don't give me that look either, I don't need you to pity me! I married that man knowing what he was."

I sat back next to them and flipped through the pile and threw down the picture of him holding me going into a restaurant with smiles on our faces five months before I ran. "These pictures tell lies... if I didn't smile and look happy the night would have been hell for me, more than they already were."

I pointed at one picture that haunted me still to this day. "The night before this was taken, he came home late, he wanted to be intimate with me but I wasn't in the mood. He smelled like alcohol and another woman so I told him no and that I wasn't feeling well. He threw me across the room and forced himself on me, it wasn't the first time but this night was different. He was rough, it hurt so bad and he wouldn't listen to me when I begged for him to stop. After he was finished he fell asleep and I noticed I was bleeding. When I tried to get up, I was in so much pain I could barely make it into the bathroom. I cried for so long in the shower, praying he would just kill me. I couldn't believe he was the same man I first met because he wasn't always like that. He was sweet and caring and I honestly thought he loved me. I married him and that's when the real John Ruzek came out."

I didn't realize I was crying and that Dylan had knelt down in front of me to get closer. I placed my hands on his elbows and leaned in. "That picture was taken the next night after that happened to me. I remember walking into that restaurant, needing to lean on him for support because the pain was so awful... but I smiled like a good supportive wife to make him happy just so he wouldn't hurt me again that night."

I cried harder as Dylan gently grabbed the side of my face. He kissed my forehead before resting his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry that happened to you Natalie. I'm going to fucking kill him!" He said, clenching his teeth.

"Don't question me on what I asked Aaron to do for me because as a cop you're not going to like my answer."

"He's going to help stop the human trafficking buisness John's running, right?"

I pulled away slightly, "Yes."

"Good enough answer for me." He said, giving me a sad smile.

I pulled him in, gently kissing his lips. It wasn't a passionate one, it was soft and sweet. Slightly pulling away, I looked into his eyes as he wiped the tears from my face. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug, I held onto him and at that moment I felt safe; A feeling I haven't truly felt for a very long time.