Forbidden Desires (being Revised)

Chapter 9: Matters Of The Heart

After a long wait in the car that night, Edward became preoccupied with the matters of his psycho ex wife something about saying those words gave me odd comfort. I'd say tonight was rather eventful my sub chuckled. I shot her a not now look, don't forget I'm just your inner voice these are your thoughts honey I rolled my eyes she wasn't wrong.
Edward and I had a long drive to another one of his homes, it was an apartment in the main city, everything about the place was bright and bustling with life and I felt quite the opposite.

I could see the turmoil of emotions Edward was battling, it had even crossed my mind to let him travel with me but I wasn't about to act on impulse. I needed an escape for just a few weeks, just a little time away from all the maddening chaos. I stared out the window deja vu hitting me almost immediately.

I missed my mother a lot, I knew she had so much to say the last time we spoke was after I got out from the hospital and I knew being together was going to do us some good. Plus, she was probably bored out of her mind, my company was going to be just as refreshing as hers would be.
Once we were inside the lavish bachelor pad, I strolled over to the lounge area that seemed to have never been occupied before, judging by how neat and clean all the furnishes were

The themes to the apartment were only whites and hints of baby blue, it honestly felt like a safe haven not that it did anything to shift the mood I had. My brain was floating in the mix of lies, deceit, anger, sorrow, hate, anguish goodness so many emotions were brewing, that I practically felt numb. I sat on the couch kicking off my heels gently reaching to massage my feet. Damned heels, my feet were built for comfortable sneakers not these contraptions. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Let me do that for you" Edward quipped, I peered up at him and saw how dejected he looked. I felt a pang of hurt in my heart, I could see the emotions getting to him, and at this point I just felt like holding him, but I couldn't not yet at least.
"It's fine" I responded, trying to act like I didn't want to comfort him or didn't need it either, returning my gaze to my feet I watched him saunter over to the other couch so that he was opposite me.

I took in a breath needing some air to exist in the room, Edward was staring down at his hands. I couldn't see his expression anymore but he began to speak.
"Samantha and I met at one of the company's events, an art auction I recall. I remember looking at her and finding this appeal about her, something completely alluring and I approached her with full confidence of getting her. I already knew how well that worked. Well, it wasn't until the end of the night that I discovered she was actually Angela's sister. That explains why she sounded so familiar, but they really look nothing like each other. They had very few similar traits so I couldn't have even known, Angela was raised in England while Samantha was here with her grandparents, we began dating for a few months till I finally got on one knee and proposed.
Never in my life would I have thought I was capable of doing something like that but I was and I thought my life was finally coming together but I was so damn wrong, -he lightly chuckled still facing the floor-
She got pregnant, -the fact that Edward had lost two children so far in his life invaded my thoughts causing a hard lump to form in my throat-
She was pregnant with my child for two months and didn't tell me till after. I was mad that she had kept it for so long but I was too excited to be mad for a long time, after she had relayed the information to me when she had kept it a damned secret for so long, she somehow got rid of it,
-I didn't miss the strain in his voice-
I didn't know what to make of it.
I remember being furious and feeling betrayed, I couldn't look at her, I couldn't be near her it's that very day everything changed. Something about her snapped I always blame myself because I thought I went too far; do you know why she did it? She thought I wouldn't love her anymore, she thought I would only care about our child-
She was definitely missing a few screws, how do you get rid of a life just like that, like it's nothing. I was jolted back to the memories of the child I could have had, the child that was taken away from me, tears were already welled up in my eyes.
He continued after the pause -we grew apart and fell out of love I guess, if there was even love to begin with. I filed for divorce and she didn't take kindly on that, she began threatening me and grew extremely aggressive she became a danger to the people around her and even to herself. Angela and I decided she needed professional help, and we sent her off to get it. The night, you called remember when Angela answered the call, she came to my house that early in the day to inform me of Samantha's condition it seemed to have worsened cause she tried to commit suicide-