Lost Partnership (Law of Attraction Series # 4)

Chapter 58

Napatingin ako sa hagdan malapit sa dj ng makitang lumapit doon si Ady habang hila-hila si Gun at may binulong siya sa Dj kaya nag iba ang kanta sa sweet song.

I was Chantel pull Kace in the middle at lumapit naman si Oli kay Aberry para isayaw ito habang si Kuya naman ay binuhat palabas ng bar si Lana. then Gun and Ady dance sweetly in the middle.

I watch how gently Gun wraps his hands on Ady's waist and Ady wraps her arms on his neck. Pinadikit nila ang kanilang noo habang nakangiting naguusap.

Suddenly tears fall on my hands as I watch them from afar. My chest suddenly felt so heavy to the point I wanted to break down. I avoided watching them and drank the whole bottle of liquor here at our table.

I watch him smile at her, I watch him be happy with her... hindi ako nakontento sa isang bote kay aininom ko din ang isa. I drank it all as my tears kept falling.

Sobrang sikip ng dibdib ko, hindi ako makahinga ng maayos. I started sobbing loud because it's really hard for me to breathe.

When I look back at them, SUddenly Luan words recall in my mind.

"Figure it out."

"Do you still love him?"

I stood up and took a last glance at them kissing in the middle of the crowd and whispering. "Yes, I still love him and it kills me," I turn my back and went to the cigarette area here in the second floor kung saan walang tao dahil halos lahat ng tao ay nasa baba.

I weakly sit on the floor as soon as I close the door. I burst out in pain and covered my face. I started hitting my chest to avoid the killing pain in my chest. I keep on hitting pero hindi nawawala ang sakit.

Sobrang sakit....!!!!

Bumalik lahat ng hirap at sakit na pinagdaanan ko nung mga panahong mas pinili kong iwan siya. "I r-regret it," I whisper weakly. "I admit it, I regret letting us fall apart, I regret it," I shook my head and hid it on my knees and arms.

"G-gun I regret it," I whisper. I keep on whispering alone here. "It's your choice!!! It's your fault!!!" I said and pulled my hair and kept hitting and hurting myself but my body seems to feel numb right now because I don't feel any pain in my body.

All the pain is in me hear right now, I stand up and wipe my tears lumabas ako ng pinto at humihikbing nanatili sa gilid.

I waited...

I waited until I saw Gun walking toward the cigarette area. Because I know he will smoke. I just know it.

Pagpasok niya sa loob ay agad ko siyang hinila at hinalikan...

Until he pushed me and, "Sienna! Anong ginawa mo?!" galit niyang sambit at pinunasan ang kanyang labi which break me even more.

I shook my head in front of him and cried again, "What happened to us?" I ask.

I took a step closer to him and started hitting his chest, while I kept on looking at the ground. "What happened!!!??!"

"What happened Gun!! Anong nangauari sa atin!!!" I said, hitting him harder. "Bakit tayo nagkaganito!!!" 

"Sienna stop it," Gun tried to catch my hands and stop me but I became more aggressive and still tried hitting him. "Hindi!!! Sabihin mo anung nangyari sa atin!!" I shouted.

"Sienna" he still tries to stop me. "Bakit?! sabihin mo bakit tayo nagkaganito Gun! Bakit mo ako iniwan?!" I shouted all out, and this is the time when he really stopped me and grabbed both of my wrists.

"Ako ba ang nangiwan!!!" he shouted to my face, I stiffed and stared at those eyes who shouted pain.

"Tell me Sienna, ako ba ang nang iwan!!!" madiin niyang sambit...his grip tightens on my wrist making me flinch in pain. "Ako ba ang nang iwan!! Hindi bat ikaw! Hindi ba't ikaw ang may gusto nato!!! Ikaw ang humingi ng spcae! Ikaw Sienna!!" I gaps and weakly sit on the floor.

"Ikaw ang nangiwan Sienna, Ikaw ang sumuko hindi ako kaya wag mo akong tanungin ng ganyan, tanungin mo ang sarili mo! At hindi ba matagal na iyon!!!" he said, making me cry even more.

"Sirang sira ako non Gun," I whispered and all the pain from the past came back. The suffering I went through came back.

"Ubos na ubos na ako non eh, walang wala na ako noong panahon na iyon. Hirap na hirap ako, kasi ano...wala ito lang ako noong panahon na iyon eh. Wala akong magawang tama sa mga oras na iyon... kailangan kong harapin ang araw araw ng wala ka, kailangan kong tanggapin lahat ng paso, pagod, pangmamaliit ng lahat sa akin... Araw-araw yon Gun.. hindi ako nag reklamo kasi wala eh, ganito lang ako," I rose my head up to look at him filled with tears.

Seeing his eyes break me down, "Pagod na pagod ako Gun, pagod na pagod ako,"

"Masasakit na salita ang sumasalubong sa akin araw-araw, paulit-ulit na trabaho, Gutom na ako pero kailangan ko pa ring mag trabaho, kasi kailangan ko pa ring patunayan ang sarili ko sa lahat ng tao. Bumigay lang ako ng isang beses, nagkamali lang ako ng hiniling sayo ng isang beses Gun... isang lang," I shook my head and break down.

"Isa lang," sobrang sakit na ng puso ko.

"Bakit ikaw lang ba ang nahihirapan nung oras na iyon Sienna?" mahinang sambit ni Gun.

"Fuck! Ayaw ko ng space na iyon Sienna, ayaw ko pero dahil hiniling mo binigay ko kasi nasasaktan din ako nung oras na iyon!!!! Pagod din ako."

"Pagod din ako," madiin niyang sambit bago umalis at iniwan akong mag-isa.

As she leaves my heart crashes into pieces...

I hurt and hit myself, "Kasalanan mo lahat!!! Ikaw ang may kasalanan Sienna!!!" I slap my face so hard and keep hitting myself.

"Sien-----Sienna!!!! Hey stop!!!!" Chantel opens the door and quickly stop me from hurting myself but it's too late, ilang taon ko na palang sinasaktan ang aking sarili.

"Hey stop, Sienna...oh my god. Noooo Sienna stop it," Chantel tries to stop me but I continue.

"It's all my fault!!!" I shouted silently in pain.

"Nooo, it's n-not your fault... Sienna stop please" She started crying too until I weakly stop and just rest in her arms.

"It's my fault Chantel," I whisper...

"Don't say that," she cried with me.

Until the door opened and Lana, Aberry, and Ali came. They just looked at me and the seat hugged me.

"Iiyak mo lang Sienna," Ali whisper.

"Andito lang kami," Aberry.

"Hindi ka namin iiwan," Lana.

That's when I cry harder...

"Ahhhhhh," I shouted in drowning pain...