Discovering Mack

5| Five

Pushing the front door open after a successful second day, I'm surprised to find Noah sprawled out on the couch watching tv. He looks a little rough, hungover or maybe coming down from something else. I don't even know how to tell the difference anymore and having never touched anything myself, I know I'm a little naive.

He has bags under his once bright eyes. I notice for the first time that he seems to have lost weight recently. His light brown hair getting long and slightly curly, and he is in need of a shave. He is only a shadow of the boy I once fell in love with.

He glances up as I enter, giving me a half wave and a grunt before laying his head back on the cushion.

I glare at him instead of greeting him. Unbelievable. I literally haven't heard a word from him since we were looking at each on Sunday and all I get is a grunt. For all I know he could have been locked up, in a hospital bed or even a gutter somewhere and I get a grunt.

I move off to the kitchen, wondering how much longer I can live like this. I thought I loved him, but now. Now I'm not so sure. It feels more like a relationship of convenience, than love.

It isn't even that convenient for me.

I put away the groceries, pulling out the chopping board and knife to prepare some vegetables for the stirfry I'm throwing together. I turn my music on low and get lost in the beat, singing along lowly.

I nearly slice my finger when I glance up and get a fright to see Noah leaning against the door frame to the kitchen. He's watching me with a lazy grin on his face. For a brief moment I'm transported back to happier times. Times when he always looked at me like that.

He would give me that grin and I would catch his eye back, smiling sweetly. Then he would wrap me up in his strong arms, whispering words like I love you and you're beautiful, and how he couldn't wait to share these moments with our children one day.

Then I remember how he just disappeared for a day and how nothing is the same anymore, and I shoot him a glare, making it clear how I feel right now.

"Where were you?" I ask, my tone cold as I continue slicing, willing myself to concentrate on the food.

"I went out with the boys, lost track of time and crashed on Jamie's couch. My phone died, sorry babe. I should have got one of the guys to text you."

It seems a simple explanation. One I might have accepted in the past. But something feels off, like it was rehearsed.

"You sure? All sounds a bit convenient to me. What about when you got home, or even before you left? Before your phone died, when you saw the battery getting low. You didn't think to let me know? Did you think about me at all?"

He shrugs his shoulders. He didn't have the rest of his answers prepared. He didn't expect me to keep asking questions.

I take the vegetables over to the stove. Hearing the hiss as the pre sliced beef strips hit the hot oil.

"Are you sleeping with someone else, Noah?" I ask over my shoulder, as casually as someone might ask about the weather.

"What? No!" He says immediately. "Why the fuck would you think that?"

I turn my body completely now, facing him as I see him stand up straight, alert and defensive.

"Oh maybe because I heard you flirting with some girl the other night, referring to me as your housemate and then you fucking disappear for a whole night without a word from you! What the hell am I supposed to think?" I'm yelling now, unable to control the rage I feel inside.

"I think you heard wrong," he weakly defends himself.

"I really don't think I did," I say pointedly, turning back to the meat cooking, stirring and turning down the heat.