Discovering Mack

4| Four

The next two weeks flew by. I gave my notice at the accountants, and as much as they were sad I was leaving, they told me they understood my reasons and the need to take on new opportunities. On my last day they insisted on taking me out for lunch and presented me with a beautiful hamper full of wine and chocolate. It was a thoughtful gesture, one I both appreciated and absolutely didn't expect. It was nice to feel appreciated for my work and like I would be missed.

While my work life was soaring, the excitement of working for Scarlett building, things at home with Noah seemed to be going from bad to worse. The only explanation I could come up with, was that he was jealous of my new opportunity.

I spoke to my best and pretty much only friend, Melody, about it all and she agreed. Admittedly, she hasn't been Noah's biggest fan for some time. Not since he started getting annoyed every time Mel and I hung out and especially not since he lost his job and decided to be a stay at home stoner. She wouldn't come to the house anymore, so I would visit her instead or more often we would meet for coffee. Most of the time I wouldn't even tell Noah where I was going, it saved the argument.

Healthy relationship goals right there.

It was Sunday night now, and I start my new job tomorrow morning. I decided to wash, dry and straighten my hair tonight, because every female knows that day two hair is easiest to work with and I wanted to look my best for my first day.

Noah and I haven't spoken all day. Between running around getting myself ready, grocery shopping, housework and him sitting on his ass all day playing Xbox, we hardly even looked at each other.

Just before I climb into bed, I decide to go in and say goodnight. My hand is poised at the door to knock when I hear his voice and register what he's actually saying into his headset.

"I bet you get a lot of attention being a gamer chick."

Ok. He sometimes games with chicks.

"We don't live that far away from each other you know."

Um, what?

"Nah my housemate is always at work. I have the house to myself most of the time, so if you wanted to meet for real we could arrange it."

Housemate?

What the fuck. I stood there gobsmacked at what I was hearing. Unbelieving that he was doing this with me in the house or even at all. I know we aren't in a great place, but housemate?

Instead of knocking on the door to say goodnight, I turn away, swallowing the lump in my throat. I don't have the strength to even pretend that what I just heard didn't sting.

Is this the first girl he's spoken to like that? Is he cheating on me? Is he trying to cheat on me? Has he already been with someone else?

Then, the thought that stops me in my tracks completely. Giving me some sort of clarity for how I am feeling about our so called relationship.

I'm not jealous. I'm just hurt.

I'm angry at the idea of betrayal, but I'm not jealous that some other woman could be touching him. That he could be making some other girl come, or probably not because he is a selfish lover.

I'm angry that after all I do for him, he would do that. Although, I don't think I'm surprised. We have been drifting apart for too long now.

I walk to bed in a daze, quietly closing the bedroom door behind me, turning off the light and climbing into bed. My head hits the pillow and a few silent tears fall. They fall for what we've lost, for how I've let myself be treated. For not having the strength just yet to do what I know I need to.