chuckle sandwich - group chat // incorrect quotes

bird

Charlie: Bro
Why are birds so cute
but MANLY AT THE SAME TIME

Schlatt: bruh

Charlie: SERIOUSLY THO
THEY CAN LOOK LIKE GODS OR PECK OUT YOUR EYES
I saw a bird today and I gave them bread.

Ted: Was it gluten-free bread?

Charlie: Oh no...
Wait do birds have allergies??

Schlatt: maybe there are some birds out there that are on a diet or just have celiac disease man idk

Charlie: DID I JUST RUIN MY CHANCE TO BE FRIENDS WITH THAT BIRD

Ted: It's very possible you may have killed that bird.

Charlie: NOOOOOOO
I REALLY LIKED THAT BIRD

Schlatt: was it his wings or his beak? that you were specifically fascinated with i mean

Charlie: I thought the beak was manly, but the feathery wings were super pretty.

Ted: What kind of bird was it anyway?

Charlie: I'm not sure.

Ted: Well, what did it look like?

Schlatt: a bird, i presume.

Charlie: Yes, a very pretty bird.
Maybe a crow or something

Schlatt: wow.

Charlie: A really big crow...

Ted: Are you sure that wasn't a vulture?

. . .

Charlie: BROOOOO THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Schlatt: it sits outside your dwelling place, waiting for the fresh scent of carcass flesh to rise from the establishment.

Charlie: I am always willing to help

Ted: Help a vulture with a carcass??

Charlie: Well, I mean, if they needed it... but murder is bad.

Ted: Yeah, that's probably why you shouldn't.

Charlie: I can just share my salmon with them. Vultures like salmon, right?

Schlatt: how much you got
i'll deal salmon
how much is one salmon worth actually

Ted: Well if he caught them himself I'd assume it was free.

Charlie: Yep.

Schlatt: oh
so you don't like
sell them
for profit
y'know

Charlie: I catch them and eat them

Ted: Economy.

Schlatt: it's one of my many talents.

Charlie: I see.