Nosferatu || Seongjoong ✓

28| Blinding lights and a head turning

Being stuck in thoughts, when working in department Z, only meant a concerned Eunha, multiple times asking if you were okay. Seonghwa didn't blame her, he very well knew how distracted he had been the last couple of days, especially today. His mind felt as if he was ramming into transparent glass over and over again without even noticing it. Like he was stuck in place, and not coming any further. There, his research had just been described. His insides would turn around just by looking at the red liquid situated in front of him, associating with luring creatures and sharp teeth. The whole day had Seonghwa flighted against his fears of thoughts while he tried staying in focus by simply tasking himself on some of the tools by his sides. The microscope had been his bestie that day, nearly making his eyes sting and water by the many times he had been squeezing his eye in order to see the small particles. But at least, it was better forcing himself to focus than knocking down rows of blood samples because he couldn't concentrate on anything.

Gosh, this was messy. If just he had the knowledge, then Seonghwa perhaps would feel more at peace with himself. He reached up to push his bangs out of his eyes as he wondered if he should have taken Mr. Jeong's offer. Would he have known what lay behind the lack of Hongjoong?

"Hey, Seonghwa?"

The black-haired man turned his head to see Geonhak who now stood leaning against the table he was sitting by. The blonde make was wrinkled brows and worried face as he was looking at Seonghwa. His arms were crossed in front of his broad chest in the black dress-shirt.

"Why don't you take a small break from this, and get yourself some fresh air? You look blown," Geonhak suggested a bit worried.

Seonghwa let out a small sigh, followed by an approving nod.

"I guess I could use that, thank you, Mr. Kim."

Geonhak nodded shortly before watching as Seonghwa grabbed his coat and excused himself for a quarter. There were about 2 hours until he got off work, and yet some people were rushing out of the building already. Seonghwa sighed another time when he reached the stairs and left the second floor. A bit of fresh air actually seemed pretty tempting right now.

_____

Seonghwa had never been the person to keep his things messy and unmanageable, always had his life and future pulled together, neat and tidy. As a kid he had always known what he wanted and right away struck after his goals with precision there wasn't to unsee. But now he felt like all his achievements were rolling straight down the top before scrambling towards the unknown side he hadn't any knowledge of. It made the boy insecure as never before, and in a way, he felt fragile. Even though he didn't notice, his hands were shaking in fear of all the imaginations his mind was making up right now. Things that an ordinary human wouldn't ever believe were true.

Seonghwa tried his best to focus on the task he was given. No, forced to do. He hadn't a choice, they would kill him if he didn't do as told. The bag with the blood was swung over his right shoulder, and his other bag with his computer and work stuff was swung over his other shoulder. He hurried down the path, they had met at the last time, wanting to get this meeting over as soon as possible, so he could leave the two strangers again. He really didn't want it to be a repetition of what happened last time.

Seonghwa stopped at the supposed meeting spot, angsty trailing his brown eyes over his surroundings while he watched out for the slightest movements in the shadows. He knew they were there, even if they were hiding. The man could feel their digging eyes on him. Slowly he let the bag with the blood samples down on the ground. A clinking sound rattled in the twilight and Seonghwa right away took a step back, finding the pockets of his coat with his hands.

"I know you are here," the dark-haired man started.

His voice seemed insecure, and Seonghwa knew the strangers were tipping over with amusement because of it. He swallowed harshly and took a sharp inhalation.

"I'll take my leave now."

He was being brave and bold today, but his life was ticking inside his ears as an infinite reminder. He had to leave.

_____

After his little dealer job was done, Seonghwa had picked up Emma at school and drove her home. It was obvious to him, that her mood wasn't what it normally was like. Her cheery soul had turned dull and gone, making her boyfriend wonder what was nagging her that much to scare her away from her good mood. Seonghwa had a hard time pulling their conversation to something real verbal instead of the odd silence there currently filled the car.

"Don't worry oppa, it's not your fault.." Emma mumbled while she stared out of the window.

Seonghwa hummed, letting all his questions wait until later, instead of attacking her with them now. She seemed pretty far away from reality.

The blinding lights from the traffic were making his head hurt in dizziness, and his eyes thanked him when they finally reached their destination. Seonghwa turned down the engine, making the silence feel more prominent than before. Either of them made an attempt on moving from their seats, only worsening the mood. This had never happened before.

Seonghwa was biting his lip, wanting to ask all the questions now, but when he turned his head to see the girl crying, he felt a sharp pang in his chest. He almost wanted to cry himself.

Softly he reached out to her small frame and wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh dear," was the only thing that left his mouth in a whisper, when her head fell into his embrace.

The falling water drops hit his white dress shirt, staining it, but Seonghwa didn't mind. He held the girl secure into his body, a hand around her shoulders and another around her head. It was silent tears, only soft sniffles came from her now and then. Seonghwa felt so bad, the feeling striking deeper than it should have. He was thinking of the past weeks and it suddenly dawned on him how absent he had been around her. Was it his fault that she was sad? Had he hurt Emma without even knowing?

He needed to breathe. Demons were living in his mind by now, slowly killing him. Seonghwa's breathing hitch, making his hands hold tighter around the girl.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm right here."

He felt intoxicated, as darkness filled his mind. He was holding on to his last ray of sun.

"I'm scared Seonghwa."

He whispered into her ear, "I love you, Emma."

A tear left his eye and Seonghwa let his head rest on top of the girl's.

He held her until her tears stopped falling, and her breathing was deep and steady again. For a moment he thought she had fallen asleep, but her clutching fingers told him otherwise.

When she raised her head, Seonghwa loosened his grip around her and reached out to dry the last couple of tears away that decorated her cheeks. Her brown eyes found his, but they didn't twinkle like how they used to do.

"Something you want to talk about?" Seonghwa mindful asked her about.

Emma let her gaze fall again, and Seonghwa just held her head in his hands. His thumb caressed her cheek for a moment before he stopped and leaned forward and kissed her lips.

"Just know... that I love you Park Seonghwa."

_____

He saw a shadow.

The next moment he fell to the ground in pure fear.

†