Golden Girl

17. Miles Away

Disclaimer: Mildly explicit language is shared in this chapter. If you are uncomfortable with any sort of foul language... LEAVE and wait for the next update.
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I wake up with the same drowning feeling once again. The one that I resent and enjoy at the same time. I glance at the other side of my bed, expecting to see Logan sleeping soundly but he isn't. I stand up and slowly walk over to the kitchen.

I see Logan and Dylan talking and making coffee.

"Morning," I greet.

The two dimwits keep blabbering as if I haven't said anything.

"GOOD MORNING GOD DAMMIT!" I exclaim.

"Oh, good morning," Dylan says causally. I roll my eyes.

"Make me a cup while you're at it." I point to the coffee machine as Dylan is endeavoring the art of making coffee.

"Kiara." Logan clears his throat.

"Yes?"

"Can I speak to you alone?"

My pulse slightly rose. Does he know?

I look back at Dylan as a cry of help, as Logan practically drags me out into the hall, but he's too busy getting a coffee stain off of his white t-shirt to notice me.

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath and started.

"Kiara, you're not like you used to be. You're always nervous, and sad. That whole beach thing, and the scene at the bar? What was that?"

The lump in my throat prevented me from speaking.

He continued,

"You almost never make direct eye contact with me, and I haven't seen you smile in a month. It's like you're right beside me yet you're still miles away."

I finally piped up,

"My sister just died. What do you expect me to be like? Happy? Skipping with a basket of daisies in my hand giving free hugs? Yeah Logan I haven't made eye contact with you, and yeah I don't talk to you as much, but I don't do it to anyone anymore. My sister is dead. Imagine if your sister died. Have some empathy. I'm stuck. There's a storm in my mind and I don't know when it's going to pass but I need you to be patient with me."

I waited for silence so I could excuse myself from the uncomfortable situation. But no. He just had to make his point. He sighed. I could see a pained look in his eyes.

"It's not just that. It's something else. You love Dylan don't you?"

My stomach felt like an anvil had dropped in it. Tears sprang into my eyes, as I felt my face heat up like an oven.

"How could you even think that? You know I love y-"

"No you don't! I see the way you look at him, a-and the way you two talk to each other. You've never done that with me."

Tears had already found their way down my heated face. I tried to wipe them but more just kept replacing them.

"He's always there for you, but I never seem to be."

"Fucking hell Logan! He's like a brother from another mother. You can't just automatically assume that I love him because I treat him like family. So just do us all a favor and stop making these shit assumptions!" I yell.

"And if you wanted to be there for me maybe you shouldn't have let Dylan be the first. You should have done it yourself. Because the only reason that he came for me is because you couldn't grow some balls and come yourself. "
I watched his facial expression, waiting for it to change into an angered one, but instead he turned around, stomped inside and came back with his coat.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere." Off he went to his little somewhere.

"If you want to handle it like a child, then be my guest!" I yelled after him.

I stormed inside with a tear stained face. Sienna was now on the couch doing what she always does, eating and watching tv. Dylan came out of the kitchen with a cup of warm coffee, about to hand it to me, but I grabbed him by his t-shirt collar, and backed him up into the kitchen, spilling some coffee on his shirt.

"Hey. I just cleaned that you know!"
He looked into my eyes and saw the tears about to spill out. He set the coffee mug down on the counter and asked me,

"Kiara what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I-I think Logan just broke up with me, because he thinks I'm in love with you and-"

"Woah woah wait slow down. He thinks you're in love with me?"

"Y-yeah." I started to cry.

"Dylan I think he knows."

"Knows what?"

"God Dylan, you are so oblivious sometimes! The elevator!"

"Oh." Because he didn't know what to do, he wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"What's going on?" I heard Sienna's voice in the doorway.
I escaped Dylan's embrace and started to explain.

"Logan broke up with me. I think."

"How? Why? What happened?" She started to come closer. At least she understands that the way Dylan treats me, is not in a more-than-friends way.

"He said that-" I glanced at Dylan. He told me with his eyes not to tell her. My defense mechanisms started crafting a lie as I looked back at Sienna.

"That I act as if I don't love him anymore, and that I won't let him come close. My sister just died and he can't understand that." My eyes subtly drifted into contact with Dylan's, seeing a look of relief in his face, but at the same time he looks... strained.

After quite a while of standing and thinking, Sienna didn't hesitate, but to go straight to the freezer, and bring out a huge tub of Rocky Road ice cream. She also got red bull cans from Dylan's collection.

"Hey that's-" Dylan started, but Sienna shot him a look telling him to shut up, so he did.
She climbed on the counter, and got a big red bowl from one of the top cabinets, which was filled with assortments of candy, chips, and packages of tissues. I knew exactly what she was doing. Getting the break up kit we made when I had my first breakup.
She dragged me to the living room, and flipped on the tv.

"What show?" She asked opening the tub of ice cream.

"Teen wolf," I said gloomily.
I forced Sienna to watch it before the New York trip, and ever since she has been watching, and worshiping Derek. Stiles would be too awkward... And I made it very clear that Scott was mine.

As the show started, I curled up in a ball and held my pineapple pillow close to my chest, taking a bag of Funyuns out of the big red bowl.

★

I wake up, and as if in a trance, I walk into the the kitchen, and open a cabinet, where all our alcohol is stored. I see rows of tequila, whine, vodka, rum, and so many more I barely recognize. I blindly grab the first bottle I see, and open it with ease. I tilt the bottle and send the burning liquid running down my throat. Normally I would cringe, but I've learned to love it.

I've been shredded to pieces, there really isn't any reason to care anymore. I'm completely worthless. I'm shattered.

Before I even know it, I hear a far away voice yelling my name, and I see Dylan trying to wrestle the glass bottle out of my hands.

"No! Let go!! Let me be! Leave me like everybody else!" I shout in a drunken haze.
My hands are weak so he grabs it with ease, and sets it down on the counter. I'm not ready to give up yet though. I start sobbing and before I think I act, and wipe the contents of the kitchen table clean off, sending them smashing onto the tile floor. Dylan grabs a hold of me, I try to wriggle free but he's too strong. He brought me down to the floor rocking me back and forth, as I shook uncontrollably trying to get my breathing sobs under control. unfortunately I didn't succeed, and Dylan had to carry me to the couch trying to soothe me. He set me down gently, and pulled a beige woven blanket over my body trying to put me to sleep.

This is the part where you all kill me....

The dress is GOLD AND WHITE!!!!!