Before you fall apart

Chapter 20

After you went to bed and slept badly again that night, you wake up the next morning because someone is knocking on your door. You open your eyes and close them again as a sharp pain runs through your head. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have been drinking so much.

“Y/n are you awake?” shouts Harry and keeps knocking on your door. Annoyed you roll your eyes and torture yourself out of bed to open the door. “Even if not, now I would be” you answer annoyed to Harry and go back to your bed, leaving the door open. Harry follows you into the room and closes the door. But a little too loud for your aching head. You hiss once and give him a warning look, which he skilfully ignores.

“Does anyone have a hangover?”. “No, your company just gives me a headache” you reply sweetly and would have given him an ironic smile if you dared look him in the eyes after last night. You pick up your phone after sitting down. Harry just looks at you, then comes over and holds out his open hand to you.

“Here, I thought you’d have quite a headache” he says softly. You look at his hand and take the pill he is holding out to you. “Thank you” you mumble softly and grab the water bottle that is next to your bed. After you’ve swallowed the pill and had a drink, you put it back next to the bed. The bed lowers next to you as Harry sits down. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks softly and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. Your answer is a “Yes” and you slip away from him. “Then why don’t you look at me when I talk to you? You avoid my gaze and apparently also my presence”. You hear it hurts him.

“I know what you think of me, okay? That shouldn’t have happened last night, I was just drunk and you should never have found out about it. I might have told you at some point, if I had been ready and if I wanted to. That you and the others will be confronted with it was not planned” you start talking and are interrupted when Harry puts a hand on your cheek and force you to look at him.

“Hey calm down. I will certainly not judge you for it. That won’t do you any good and you know for yourself that it’s wrong. Of course I don’t like that and I’m a really afraid of what you’ve done. What you’ve been through and what happened to you. But I won’t blame you, yell at you or anything. I’m there for you and want to help you out. After our kiss yesterday....I thought we would get closer. Please don’t turn away from me” he says quietly and you see the pain in his green eyes....