Polaroids s.m.+ c.c.

chapter twenty nine

"hey Aaliyah" she was smiling, standing at my door alone "where's Shawn?" I asked.

Her face fell.
"He didn't tell you"

"Tell me what?" I wanted to know the answer.

She kept quiet.

"Tell me Aaliyah!" I almost screamed.

"He left" I felt my lungs ran out of oxygen.

"Where"

"To France" of course, I wanted to cry at the moment but I couldn't.
"He told me that he's gonna call you and tell you, he wanted me to take care of Kiara while he's there" she sounded so broken, maybe even more than I am.

"I can take care of Kiara don't worry" I smiled with pain on my face.

"He's coming back soon" she said and I shocked my head, closing door "it doesn't matter"

"Please Camila"

I closed door, I heard Aaliyah pleading on the other side.

That wasn't all that day, I was ever more furious by the email I got later that hour.

-

Shawn's POV:

Goddamn it everything.

I woke up to a message from Amelie that my flight to France is at 9.

I packed my things fast, trying to make time to go see my daughter, but I couldn't, I was almost late to flight too.

I kissed her last night, her smell still lingering somewhere in my nose.
I looked at Camila, she looked so beautiful, exhausted but valuable.
I wanted to hug her, to kiss her and hold her while she sleeps in my arms.
I miss holding her, how tiny she feels in my hands, I would watch at her just not to loose any of the time.
I hope after this everything would fall into right pieces whatever that will be.

I ran over airport, trying to find Camilas number, stumbling over everyone, I found her, called her only to hear that there was no service.

Fucking airports and a lot of people.

I tried two more times, I checked in, stood in front of the gates, wanting to stay here, but my legs went inside.
I don't know what my heart says nor my brain, but I'm full of anxiety.
I sat in plane and tried to contact her again, nothing.

She's gonna hate me again.

I looked at my lock screen, after I put my phone on the airplane mode.
It was picture of Kiara smiling cutely, with her dimples.
Her dimples, I loved them so much, they were one of my weaknesses.

I ran my finger over the screen, already missing her.
I didn't kiss her today, nor see her smile.

Honestly, if I could right now, I would jump out of plane, but it already took off.
I'm so stupid.
I didn't choose Amelie over Camila and Kiara.
I know something was coming, that I need to end but I couldn't do it over phone.

My sweet baby, I hope she falls asleep tonight easily, in her mother's arms.
Camila...I hope she would understand, even tho that's impossible, I've been jerk to her for a long time.

I hope at least, she would let me in.
Just one chance.

Life without Kiara, made me want to crumble and never leave my bed.
It hurted, she is my light and I never want for it to get dark.

I share this light with Camila.

This flight is gonna be long one with all this thinking, about situations I couldn't do anything about.

I didn't know I fell asleep until turbulence woke me up, we were landing.
I had vivid dreams that I had huge fight with Camila and my heart just couldn't stop beating so fast that it felt real.

When I landed, got my luggage, I expect for Amelie to wait for me on the airport, but she was nowhere to be found.
I ordered taxi that took me to train station, where I got on first train that leaded me to the village.

I don't know if I regret the first time my foot landed on that village, or this time.

My mind never left alone Kiara's and Camilas name.

When I saw the house, I knocked nervously, Amelie's mum opened.

"Shawn?" I smiled.

"Hey Angela" her mum is a sweetheart, just like Amelie herself.

"Come in son, I missed you"

"Is Amelie home" I asked while walking inside, "she's not, she's gonna be home tomorrow" I rolled my eyes, nervously. She didn't see it.

"Why did you pay this amazing visit"

"I wanted to see you two" I lied.
"How are you?" I asked her, she just smiled and said "I'm alright"

She started making tea that she always made.
"Amelie" I nervously tapped my finger on the table.

"She's not good"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, "she's closing herself, I'm glad you're here, I know you will help her"

I nodded not knowing how to help her, because I see it now, this would take more than a day, or two. That I'm not gonna go back to my daughter any near time and this will be torturing.

"How long do you plan on staying?" She asked and I rose my shoulders, "not for so long, I've sister waiting for me" and daughter and woman who's probably hating me right now.

"I wish I could call Amelie to come so you can spend time together" she smiled "but you know how we live"

Yeah about that, in this place was only electricy, there was no WiFi, nor phone service....that goddamn phone service.
But when I first came here, I liked that, now I want to go to the first place to connect to some network to hear their voices.

"It's okay, I will wait"

"You must be tired for the flight"

Yeah I was.
Mentally drained.

"I can make you bed, in your room" I smiled at the sweetness this woman always held no matter how life treated her.
Life wasn't fair to her at all, Amelie told me many stories.

She went away and came back fifteen minutes later saying that I can go lay down, even tho it was just five pm, I needed to sleep for a week, maybe to escape everything, or maybe just to fill my batteries.

I thanked her.
Laid down on the bed, unlocked my dry phone and searched for pictures of Kiara before I fell asleep thinking of her.

A/n; right. Um. Expected that?
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