Polaroids s.m.+ c.c.

chapter seven

Shawn laid down on the couch, staring up at the dark ceiling, wanting to see Kiara now through different eyes as his daughter. Deciding in-between getting up and kissing his daughter's forehead and being beaten up by Camila with bat, or staying here till morning so he could talk to her, hope for some opportunity.

Back at his small home Amelie was sleeping in an empty bed, her mind on him thinking everything is alright.
Shawn sat back up, it's midnight, it's not late but he was tired. Everything made him question his existence right now. If this was even real.
Kiara.

That small creature, half of the woman he loved, other half was him. Never in milion years he thought about having a daughter at age of 23, never.
She is beautiful, curly hair, cheesy smile and her face is like most sugary sweets, then her eyes, they are his eyes.

Knots in his stomach made him almost throw up, he felt like he's getting sick any second right now. He was sweating, dizziness roamed his head, he didn't even dare to stand up.

His attention drew to opening door. Ariana came back from her date with smile all over her, but it's vanished as she turned on the lights seeing him sitting there.
His hair totally mess, eyes red and he looked so lost.

"Shawn?" She sat next to him as he looked through her, she knew what had happened.

"It's okay Shawn" she tried to calm him down and he shocked his head.
"It's not" he whispered.

She wrapped hers hands around his big shoulders, his head resting on her shoulder and he gripped her.
He tried to calm down, but he couldn't.
"She won't let me see her" he said painfully.

"She will, she just needs time, you do too. It's a shock" she ran her hands through his hair, feeling tear on crock of her neck.

"Is this real?"

"It is reality, listen to me" she moved him so he could look at her "you're gonna get through this, you know I hated you, heck, I still do because you left. But you didn't know she's pregnant. She went alone thought every obstacle in pregnancy, during birth, rising her" he closed his eyes listening to her quiet voice as she didn't try to wake any of them up.

"You didn't know, she never got a chance to tell you. You vanished"

He wanted to scream, he never wanted for anyone to go through pregnancy alone.
Swollen feet, who massaged them when she was in pain.
Who gave her ice-cream when she craves it?
Who woke up and let her sleep when Kiara was just month old and crying.

No one, she did it all alone. He knew she didn't need him anymore in life, she never did. He needed her.
It's okay, he doesn't need to be part of Camila's life. He just wants to be part of Kiara's life.

"I've got something, but don't read it today. When you collect yourself, read it. Promise me"

"I promise" he whispered and watched her as she went in one of the rooms and came back with thick notebook.
"It's something for you, Camila made it then threw it away. I got it out, she doesn't know"

He placed his fingers over black notebook, running his thumb back and forth, curious of what's hiding inside.
But he won't opened it, tonight maybe even tomorrow because he's so lost.

"Go home now, before Camila decides to wake up and kill you"

"Thank you" he looked at her in his eyes she knew he meant it.

Leaving was hard again, but not as hard as the first time he left. Now, two beautiful creatures made it hard. He was scared he might never see her again, she's gonna keep her away from him.
Thoughts hurt him all the way to his home, he doesn't know how he got back but he did safely.

He hid notebook in his side cabinet, looking over in bed laid his Amelie. She breathed so slowly and calmly. Taking his clothes off, he climbed over in bed scared to touch her, he might hurt her.

Amelie woke up, she smiled sleepily saying "you're here"

"I am" he whispered his voice breaking, "are you okay?" She was so worried, voice panicking as she looked at him. Not seeing his face, she touched him, tears soaked his cheeks.

"No" he answered closing his eyes, leaning in her touch. He felt loved.

Feeling her kisses all over his face his breathing became normal again, his heart didn't skip beats anymore.
"I'm here" she whispered holding onto him, his head on hers chest as he cried more.

"I'm here" she said again kissing top of his head, she won't push with any questions. He always needed some time since his anxiety did most of the bad things in his life.

"Amelie" he looked up at her, holding hers face in his palm.

"Yes?"

He leaned in kissing her deliciously on her plump lips. His salty tears mixing with their tongues. But kissing her felt like crying again, like he wanted to scream, he started so shake again.

Pulling away he whispered that he loved her. He said "I love you" so many times that she was worried because it felt like he is dying.

She knew that is impossible.
But he felt like he is dying.

He felt sick of himself.
He kissed her told her that he loved her.
She got him from his dark places, dealt with all problems he had with himself and everything else.
He held her, she held him.
He didn't want to leave her, but she deserved so much better.
He didn't want to break more hearts when his is broken the most. But it was his fault.

He pushed her away. Coward.
He left and found another one, who healed him.
Just as he came back he lost himself again.

Coming back was mistake.

A/n: watch my votes go 📉
please comment and vote....what do you think how will Shawn take this, will Camila let him see his child?