The Three Of Us | BDSM

06

(TW) Warning: This Chapter Contains Self-Harm

(Please don't do this.. for help call 1-800-366-8288 ..if you'd like to talk I'm here!)

I don't know why his words hurt, I mean it's not like I care anyway. Stiles means nothing to me. He's right, they're both just my dominants until we graduate. Then I'll never have to see either one of them again.

Instead of going in the room to ask what to eat like I had originally planned, I decide to go rummage through the kitchen myself. The kitchen is a nice set up with white cabinets against a grey tile backsplash, all stainless steel appliances, and a black granite island to match the countertops.

I open the fridge to find a wide selection of options. I decide to make myself a sandwich once I realize we have all the ingredients. I take out the bread, mustard, turkey, cheese, and pickles.

What? Pickles are good.

I put all of the ingredients on the island as I look through the cabinets for a plate. After a few seconds of vigorously searching, I finally find some all the way in the last cabinet on the left. I pull out a white glass plate and shut the cabinet.

I open the bread and lay two pieces on the plate as I begin making my sandwich. As I'm putting the mustard on, I spill a bit on my all white top and make a mental note to get in the shower after I eat so I don't smell like mustard.

Once I finish making my sandwich I sit on a stool in front of the island and eat. As I'm eating I hear the guys still conversing in the other room. If all I am is their submissive then I'll be just that. So if I just so happen to see a hot guy in the halls, I won't hesitate to give him my number.

When I finish eating I put the ingredients away and walk into my room. I shut the door and go over to the bed, opening my suitcase. I go through the bag getting everything I need for a shower. Since it was still early in the day I decided to get comfortable clothes that I could still go places in if need be.

I grab a camisole and a pair of black leggings along with a black bra and underwear set. I get all of my other shower stuff like body wash and a razor since I had no time to shave this morning. I noticed earlier that there's a bathroom connected to my room so I make my way into it.

I lock the door and strip down so I'm completely naked. I grab my things and step into the walk in shower. I turn the handle and the water from the shower head immediately comes down onto me. It's freezing cold so I quickly flinch and shut it off, realizing I have no idea how to work it.

The mixture of my wet body and the air makes me chilly so I try to hurry up and figure out the hot water as fast as possible. It takes me a few minutes but when I finally do get it, it's so comfortable. I just stand there for a few minutes under the water before I get washed.

After washing my body, I grab my razor to begin shaving. I don't realize the cover to the blades is off and I accidentally prick my finger. I drop the razor and immediately go to run it under the water but a bit of blood drips before I can and it triggers me.

Claira.

"No.", I whisper to myself. "This is not happening right now."

Denial won't help you, Claira.

Nothing can help you.

Do you think those boys want you?

Your own parents don't even want you.

"Leave me alone.", I mutter as I close my eyes running my hands through my hair.

Same old Claira.

You wanting me to leave you alone is what caused the accident, is it not?

Poor Claira just couldn't have a friend.

"Shut up.", I breathe, now pacing around the shower.

You know what I want.

Just do it and I'll go away.

"I don't want to!", I yell over the running water.

Cut.

Do it.

You know it'll make everything better.

It always does.

"Why are you doing this to me?", I cry out sliding down the shower wall.

You know why.

You hurt me.

"It wasn't my fault!", I plead.

So now you have to hurt yourself.

"No!", I sniffle wiping my tears.

Yes!

Do it now!

I know that I have no choice and it's useless fighting it. I stand up grabbing the razor with my right hand. I look at my left wrist before swiping the blade across it. Nothing happens at first like always, but after a second I start to see blood. Instead of immediately bandaging the cut like I usually do, I wait and talk to the voice.

"Does this make you fucking happy?!", I scream but the voice is now gone.

I feel my body fall back and everything goes black.