La Reyna de León (Queen of León)

Chapter 19

He arrive at the ascienda. A sigh or relief came out of my mouth. We get out of the car. Veronica said she had to leave to Los Angeles. She was going to be back in a few days.
My uncle opens the door for me. Luis walks towards me and hugs me tight.
"Good you guys made it out alive." He said.
"Yeah. That was a good thing" my uncle said.
I let go of Luis and head to my room. Once I get to my room. I fall to the floor. I had another panic attack. I kept hitting the floor with my fist until blood came out. I loved the pain though. This siege triggered my panic attack. Just the thought of my family being held hostage like that when they were brought here to their deaths. The fear my little brother must have gone through.
I sob uncontrollably and breathe in and out heavily. It felt like I was choking on the air I breathed. I screamed on the top of my lungs till my chest felt tight. The idea came to my head. I grab my gun. I check if it was loaded. Then I raise it up to my temple. I couldn't handle it anymore. I get up with the gun next to my head. I look at the mirror.
I cry out and scream. I tremble so bad I can't keep the gun from being straight. I let out a scream and drop the gun. I fall against my wall and then to the floor. I freak out. Flashes of my parents come to my mind. I see them filled with bullet holes. I just proved I'm to scared to commit suicide. That's all I ever am afraid. Afraid to lose my loved ones. Afraid of everything.
I start to calm down. I just look up at my ceiling. I think about nothing now. I just feel numb. Nothing.
I here a knock at the door. I ignore it at first. Then a knock again. I roll my eyes and sigh. I wanted to be left alone. "Who is it?" I said.
Another knock again. I get up fast. I open the door with aggression.
"Leave me——." I said before I saw Luis at the door. I move aside for him to come in. He could tell I had another panic attack since he stopped and stared at my blood on the floor. I guess I really didn't feel anything anymore since I forgot I was bleeding. No pain.
He looked up at me. "What did you do to yourself? Let me see your hand."
"Nothing don't worry about." I said.
I sit on my bed and just stare at my doorway. He sits right next to me. We don't talk. I wasn't in the mood anyways. I just stare at my bloody hand. It was still bleeding. I really punched the floor really hard. It's like when I just black out and then when I hear silence I stop.
"Let me bandage your hand." He said. I stopped him from getting up with my hand.
"No. I'm fine." I said.
"But you ble-." He said.
"I said I'm fine! I don't even feel it." I said. Even though it was still bleeding. It didn't hurt.
"So are we still going on that date today?" He said. Shit! I forgot. Now I felt emotion again. I felt bad for forgetting.
"Sorry, I forgot. But yeah in need to get my mind off somethings." I said.
"If you don't really feel like it then I understand."
"No. We should go. It's fine." I said. He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. I didn't feel like kissing right now. I could see the hurt in his eyes.
"Guess I should get ready then." I said. I got up and went into my closet. Luis left my room.
I put on a tee shirt, skinny jeans, and some vans on. I didn't bother to put to much make up on. I was still mentally broken. I grab my stuff and head to the living room. I sit in the couch and just stare of into the distance. My uncle came in as he saw me.
"Do you want me to bandage that for you?" He said.
"Huh? Oh no I'm fine." I said. I did t here him at first. I was just lost in my mind.
He sits next to me. "You did good in helping this people out." He said.
"I just thought about how that my family was in the same situation. Being help hostage." I said.
"I know." He said and looked down at the floor.
"Did he kill your wife and kids?" I asked straight forward.
"Yes. He killed them. That's when everything went down. When they gain more power." He said.
"When my dad fled to the United States right?"
"Yeah....he ran away with your mom. He hid out mom away from all this mess. He threatened to kill both of them." He said.
I didn't know my mom was with my dad at that time. I thought they met up in the States.
"He didn't tell you he was leaving?" I asked.
"No. Before I knew it he was all ready gone. I had to take up leadership. I guess the only reason I didn't go after Emiliano was because I was afraid of him. Afraid if he ever found out where my brother was. He ran because they found out your mother was pregnant with you." He said.
I was close in being born into this lifestyle. Would I have been the same? Or would I have been different? Who knew.
"Either way this was my life. My destiny. There is no escape. Only a Mendez can lead." I said.
"You had to learn. The sooner the better. I'm not going to be around all the time." He pulls out a letter from his pocket and hands it to me.
"Your dad left it in his office for me. Read it. It was for us both." He said.

I open up the letter.
Brother, by know your know I've fled from all this. I expect you to run this. I'm sorry I left you the burden. I had to protect Irene from all this. I sent mom to a secure location so she could be safe from all this mess. I'm sorry about your wife and kids. Emiliano threatened to kill Irene and mom. I know one day he and his cartel will fall.

I know you will be a good leader. Not as good as me though. But one day my daughter will take up leadership. I want you to promise me to protect her as she was your own. Eventually she will have too. I'll know when she does in the future. Don't tell me when. I'll know.

My daughter, I want you to know that you'll be the best leader this cartel will ever have. You will go on to continue my legacy. Just know I will always love you. I know you'll do good. I probably won't be able to see the day you take up the lead. Just remember what I taught you. Without control, chaos will come. Also never let your enemy see you weak.

Love, Pablo.
He knew one day I would be the leader. He knew everything. The. He knew I faked my own death. He knew I was really alive. But did my mother or brother know. Or were they fools. But I remembered the look in their eyes. They were surprised to see me. That I was alive, but my dad wasn't. He looked at me like I wasn't dead.

I give back the letter to my uncle.
"No you keep it." He said. I put it in my purse. My dad was alway the mysterious type of person. He hid things really well.
"So he knew?" I said.
"Yeah. I promised him I would." He said. I didn't know what to feel. But he knew what he was doing. This was a family thing. I wouldn't have had to do it if Emiliano didn't kill my uncles wife and kids. I was the only offspring alive. The heir. There really was no escape.
"Hey don't you have a date to go to?" He said.
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for Luis." I said.
"Ok. Don't be late." He said getting up.
Minutes after he left, Luis came in.
"You ready?" He said.
"Yeah." I said. I got up and we headed towards my car. He ends up driving. My guards came with us as well following behind us. This was my life now.