The Nerd's Makeover

Chapter Twenty Three

Heyy!
Ugh so I broke my promise as usual and didn't update. I don't really have an excuse (except I'm the laziest sloth in the world) and I had a couple of exams recently. I've also had to sort out GCSE's (English people will understand what I mean). Updates will be slower around End of March/April/May as I study for exams. Other than that it's my birthday on the 26th of April so yay I guess!
The photo on the side isn't actually relevant I just liked it trololol :))).
Enjoy x.
fan of the chapter~ @2cute4you_duh bc I mean her comment pretty much explains eveything tbh. So sweet; I love how you guys think I don't read your comments when I in fact do! :)

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Chapter Twenty Three

From the time I was a little girl, I've never believed in the idea of 'fate'. To me, fate is something conjured up by those of the human race who cannot think of any reasons to explain the unexplained. 'Fate' is just something that happens that have a great effect on your life which you feel has a meaning. Some things will probably happen - but almost nothing is guaranteed.

And from the moment he spun me around and kissed me as if I were some sweet delicacy that his mouth couldn't get enough of, I knew I wouldn't - couldn't - change. Because although some people would claim that everything that had just happened between us was fate, we were simply two individuals in the same place at arguably, the wrong time.

Two individuals who were lonely and craved the feeling of love and comfort you get from the presence of another who manages to make your stomach do flips and your heartbeats speed into overdrive.

And I kissed him back, driven by a fire burning in my chest and with so much feeling and emotion that even he was surprised. I felt his lips move into a small smile and I knew this was it. Through this kiss, I only had one aim - to convey the words I wouldn't be able to say.

Goodbye.

And almost as if noticing, his kisses became desperate and the arm that was around my waist tightened.

I couldn't let him hurt me again. So, I pushed him away once more and he pleaded with his eyes.

The trees around us swayed in the breeze as we silently stared at each other. A dog barked and the beginning of traffic began in the distance as cars began hooting. But we never moved, all the time having a silent argument between ourselves.

"You know what?" His voice was hoarse, so different from the deep melodic tone I was used to hearing. His blue eyes that I had always envied for being so beautiful that the ocean and sky couldn't be compared bore into mine until finally, they broke away as he turned away and held the keys to my car out.

A metaphor for his heart, I suppose. He didn't have to tell me; he was offering me his heart and himself. It was what I had always dreamed about - a relationship between us.

I either kiss him once more or take the keys and walk away. But it was too late. Kissing him would mean becoming attached and exposing all of my flaws and a vulnerable side of myself. It would mean he would a certain amount of power over me; the ability to rip my heart out and stamp on it as if it were a mere piece of shit on the street.

So I chose the latter and grabbed the keys from his dangling fingers. The shock was evident in his eyes - he hadn't expected me to reject him. He didn't fight or argue, however, but instead pushed himself off of the car and walked off, his head bowed in defeat. Although he was doing as I wished and respected my decision, my heart clenched as I forced myself to look away.

Once I was inside the car, I didn't hesitate to speed off. But after a few minutes a sick feeling began to stir deep in my stomach and before I knew it I had pulled over in a secluded place and was throwing my guts out.