Peer pressure duo oneshots

Prompts

Trying to finish a chapter today

But before that here's some fun prompts of the boreal boys

Technoblade: What time is it?
Ranboo: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Ranboo: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Philza: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Ranboo: It's 2 am

Technoblade, holding a snake: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Ranboo: You did WHAT–
Philza: William Snakespeare

Philza: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Ranboo: Okay, but in my defense, dad bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo. 

Philza: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Philza: WHY. why did you give Ranboo a knife?!
Techno: I'm sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Philza: Now I feel unsafe!
Techno: I'm sorry.
Techno: ... would you like a knife?

Technoblade: I know you snuck out last night, Ranboo.
Philza: Play dumb!
Ranboo: Who's Ranboo?
Philza: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Technoblade: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Ranboo: Dad no.
Philza: Mistlefoe.
Ranboo: Please stop encouraging them.

Technoblade: HELP! I TOLD PHILZA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Ranboo, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

*Technoblade and Ranboo sitting in jail together*
Ranboo: So who should we call?
Technoblade: I'd call Philza, but I feel safer in jail

Technoblade: We need to get through this locked door. Ranboo, give me your credit card.
Ranboo: Here.
Technoblade, pocketing it: Thanks. Philza, kick down the door.

Technoblade, driving Ranboo and Phil: So how was your day?
Ranboo: I almost got surprise adopted!
Technoblade: What?
Philza: He almost got kidnapped.
Technoblade: Oh, okay.
Technoblade: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Ranboo: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Philza: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Ranboo: Yes!
Technoblade: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Ranboo: Why are you on the floor?
Techno: I'm depressed.
Techno: Also I was stabbed, can you get Philza, please.

Ranboo: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Techno: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Philza: Smad.

Ranboo: Dad and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Philza: *Sighing* What did Techno do?
Ranboo: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Techno: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ranboo: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Phil: You're a hazard to society
Techno: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Bonus sbi+ Ranboo and Tubbo

Your prompt:
*The squad is over at Technoblade's house*
Ranboo: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Technoblade: ... N-No...
Technoblade, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Ranboo, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Philza: I see a-
Technoblade, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Ranboo: Oh, well I-
Technoblade: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Technoblade, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Tommy: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Tubbo: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Technoblade: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Technoblade: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Technoblade, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Technoblade: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Wilbur, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Technoblade:
Ranboo: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Technoblade:
Technoblade, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS