Half a heart without you

Precious Lou

I woke up to the fierce March sun shining through the silk curtains. Niall was already up, his clothes all folded perfectly and his bed made, just like the OCD he is. I always ask myself why he does his own bed in a hotel, but he if he doesn't have a problem with it, why bother him?
"Morning, sleepyhead!", he smirks, with an especially deep Irish accent as he does in the mornings. He through a pillow at me and finds it super funny. Ugh, Irish humor haha.
"Hey asshole.", I joke and throw back the pillow.
"Hahah, did you sleep well? You snored so loud!", he said.
"Shut up! I did not! But yeah, I slept deep."
Wonder why that was, I thought to myself. I hope he didn't recognize my smile... my kind of dirty smile...?!
Huh. I guess Louis has that effect on me.
"Yeah, me too. Wanna go get some breakfast?Liam texted me that the three of them are already in the private room having breakfast.", he tore me out of my daydreams.

"Um yeah, I guess. What time is it though?", I replied kind of nervous at the thought of sitting at breakfast with Louis after what had happened yesterday.

"Mate, it's like 11:20 a.m. already. I can wait for you to get ready but hurry up cause I'm starving!"

"Damn. Already so late huh? I'll be quick mate sorry! Thanks for waiting.", I said, went into the bathroom, took of my black Puma boxers and black shortsleeved shirt and took a quick shower.

25 minutes later Niall and I arrived at a private convention hall of the Plaza, extra reserved and set up all nicely for us, because management never allowed us to eat in the main hotel restaurant when we where in big hotels. Which is I guess kind of plausibel and for our own safety. Besides, it meant more food for us ;)
I immediately saw him sitting next to Zayn, laughing and playing with food. Oh how, childish he could be sometimes. But he still managed to give me butterflies every. single. time.
"Good Morning lads"' me and Niall said whilst joining them at the perfectly set table.

After half an hour we still sat there, laughing, talking, eating delicious bacon and eggs and a perfectly hot coffee.
Although we were all talking loud and hectic and were all over the place- as usual- I kept on playing last night on rewind.
I also imagined how embarrassing it'd be if all
the boys, the others in the room, meaning management, tour organizers and the rest of the team, knew that I wasn't just thinking about the things the boys are talking about, but rather about a sweet creature I kissed yesterday. On a hotel rooftop. At night. In secret. After a huge fight we had had.
What a fine line.

Like the demons could read my mind, Sonnia came up to Louis and whispered him something into his ear. I suddenly saw immediate fear and nervousness. Right away I got curios and concerned about Lou. What has she whispered to him? I got all paranoid at once.

Wait what? Why is she looking at me? Wait stop! Now she's coming towards me.
I-

"Harry, are you done with your breakfast? I need you to follow me."
Speechless I got up, I noticed that so did Lou. My mouth was open. I didn't know what to think or say.
The boys also started looking kind of distracted and confused by the weird situation.
"Guys, what's going on?", Niall broke the silence.
"I don't kn-", I proceeded to answer.
Sonnia interrupted me: " We are just taking Louis and Harry to a vocal proof meeting. They'll be back later throughout the day. Remember boys, you have a meet and greet at the Times Square later on at 2 p.m.
Marissa and Ronnie will style you and  get you ready, the vans will bring you to the location. Please do your best and follow orders. See you all at dinner.". Sonnia always sounded like a mean, robot when she commanded us around. Like this wasn't supposed to be fun for us. I didn't like her. I think we all didn't really like her. I even think she didn't like us that much either- we always know how to provoke and prank her. I think it's our kind of way of getting back at her for some of the shitty and annoying things she makes us do for publicity and money. Typical Simon Cowell robot.

She gently pushed Lou and me through the hall door. We followed her to a white Mercedes with a driver already sitting in the front.
"This is Marcel. He'll drive you two to Simon. He flew in from Los Angeles to talk to you guys. He's staying at the Hilton, so that's where you'll be heading.
I don't know why, I don't know when you're coming back. I truly don't know anything. He just called me today at like 8 p.m. asking me to put you in his car as soon as you've eaten and ready. Please don't ask any questions as I can't answer them. I don't want anything to do with this. He sounded really angry and I have no interest in going into a feud with him.", she talked as fast as a waterfall and I didn't even have time to process the half of it.

The only thing I did, was look toward Louis in hope of reading his facial expressions and kind of guessing what he was feeling/ Thinking.
Nothing. I didn't see any emotion. I couldn't read his thoughts. No idea what's going on in that precious head of his. Well, to be fair I have no clue what to think myself.

She shut the door. I saw her walk away, in the direction of the lobby entrance.
It was quiet the whole ride. Lou looked out the window. For some, he looked quiet and calm. Though I could sense nervousness all over his body and mind, as I practically saw the sweat in his hand palms and heard the trembling in his breath.
A drastic urge of wanting to hug him oh so very tight fall upon me. For some reason though, my body was glued to the car seat and I couldn't or maybe didn't want to hug his scared body... I hated myself in that moment, because I knew I was capable of making him feel like he's not alone and make this feel like home. But I just couldn't move. I myself was terrified of seeing Simon. I mean, there wasn't any other explanation as to why Simon, a busy rich man would travel to New York solely for me and Lou, rather than him seeing the interview and potentially reading the comments? I mean I haven't seen or read anything really. But that was just because I was scared to go on YouTube. I was procrastinating. I am so stupid. Fuck. It's so obvious that it's about me and Lou. I hate myself. It's all my fault.

Several minutes later, we arrive.

>> THE MILLENNIUM HILTON<< I read off of the entrance sign as we drive past it, headed for the parking lot. Shit. We are truly here. This is really happening.

Marcel, I think that was his name, parks the Mercedes, gets out of it, in want of opening my car door. I quickly see my chance: I grab Louis'  hand, which was shakily resting on the middle seat in between us for the whole ride,  raise it to the height of my lips and kiss it tight but lovingly. In hope of showing my apologies and love. In hope of explaining that everything will work out fine. In hope of him understanding that I would swim all the oceans just to see him smile. In hope of him understanding that I'll be by his side and defend him always and forever.

Our car doors got opened, we got led up to the entrance we were supposed to go in to.