Rehearsals With You ✓

Chapter Thirty-Three: I'll try.

G R E Y

"Fuck," I cursed and run my hand through my hair. She wasn't supposed to hear it like that. And what did she mean by 'I'm happy for you both'?

"I'm sorry, that didn't turn out like how you wanted," Diana apologized.

I smiled at her. "It's okay, it wasn't your fault." I sighed then Diana grabbed her things and muttered a goodbye. She didn't forget to throw me one last sorry smile before leaving. I exhaled loudly before taking my things ang going home as well, only to dwell on it in my room.

That rehearsal before April and I got along which was after I apologized for messing up with that stupid prank, Diana approached me. She said, and I quote, "I know you didn't mean for that prank to go as badly as it did and everyone can clearly see that your guilt is eating you up . . . but I want you to know that April is one of the most forgiving persons I know. You two may not have gotten along mostly but she knows to be understanding when it matters the most. You'll see."

That was her assurance. I didn't think they were that close for her to say it, but many would testify that Diana is a good judge of a character. That was the reason why when I messed up the second time around, she was my go-to person. Luke would be pretty useless on the matter.

I told her what happened, how I tried approaching April but said girl would ignore me. You know what Diana said? "I haven't heard April's side on this one so like before, I could only assume, okay? She needs time. To sort out all the feelings she's garnered by those words. Up until a few weeks, you guys were sworn enemies and just right when you were getting alone, you say those. Give her time."

"But I can't leave it at that. I should apologize," I insisted.

"Yes, you should. So I say if it really matters that much to you, maybe try writing a letter. She maybe not ready to face you yet, but maybe she'll try hearing you out by reading your letter."

I say she'd make a pretty good psychiatrist but that's beside the point right now. I think the idea might have worked out if it weren't for April's unprecedented appearance. I stared at nothing at the ceiling, propping one arm on top of my closed eyes. I still haven't changed out of my uniform.

I regret what I said. I can't let us go back to fighting, not when I know I like her. That I always did.

Luke has been persistent through the years that I had feelings for April which made me feel strongly against it. I denied it, but I couldn't anymore. Not when she has forgiven me easily for opening up old wounds, for being just herself around me, for giving me the best thing I could ask during the moment- her friendship. Yet now I realized, that wouldn't be enough for me anymore. I need to do something to earn her love but first and foremost, her forgiveness.

April was only trying to make me see how else I could take the news of my father's fiance, but she wasn't pushing me into it. Though, I still don't like nor do I approve of the engagement yet, she had a point. I can't fault her for that.

My mind wouldn't rest. On one hand, I keep on thinking about how I want to fix things with April. On the other, I couldn't forget her words about Cecily. Deep inside, I know she's a nice person, that she would be nice to me and my father. However, I couldn't help but feel like I was betraying my mother somehow.

"Mom, I wish you were here . . ." I whispered and my heart clenched, missing her. I thought the love my mother and father had was irreplaceable, that no one can ever, and will ever be able to fill the void of what it left. It was hard. I had always seen myself in the future, successful with my mother and father by my side, their love eternal.

What changed? What was it about Cecily that made my father fall for her? What made him decide it was worth entering another marriage? What of mom, what of her love? Had he just set that aside and moved on the next woman who made him feel loved again?