Blue's Healing (HIATUS)

꧁𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 14꧂

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ꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄ
Continued...
ꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄ
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"You've got to kidding me!" A loud-soft voice yells from behind me as I grab the overnight bag that I had packed as soon as Grammy gave me the 'okay' to go.
That kind of sounds like Zane. I sling my extra bag onto my shoulder while pushing my slightly heavy backpack into the small pocket in the wall. As soon as I close the locker door, a body pounces onto my back making me stumble forward a little bit before bracing myself with a hand on the locker door. The smaller body wraps its arms around my neck in an attempt at a chokehold.
Laughing slightly, I grab the back of their shirt from over my shoulder and rotate their body off of mine until they are standing in front of me no longer wrapped around me. Looking down at a red-cheeked Zane, I could help but ruffle his brown hair that has gotten a little longer than now rested below his ears.
"What are you doing, Zane? And it's nice to see you too, " I ask as I start to slowly walk towards the school doors. I gesture for him to follow along which he does reluctantly with his arms crossed.
"I drink a glass of milk; sometimes two, every day but I haven't grown since I was 16! But you," he says interrupting himself by pointing at me accusingly before continuing, "left for three months!! And got taller!! What am I doing wrong?"
"My height is why you pounced on me like a koala? I was 5'9 but I only grew an inch, which isn't tall at all. You aren't doing anything wrong. Your whole family is average height but you just got the slightly shorter genes. There is nothing wrong with that; you're imperfectly perfect, remember?" I say as I throw my bag into my truck and I go to shut the door but Zane puts his foot into the door stopping me.
    I look at him questionably as he says, "I got a ride from Danny today but now I wanna ride with you. Maybe, you can share some of your height with me, while we head there."
    "You don't have anything with you. Am I going to have to stop by your house?" I ask as I walk to the drivers' side and hop in starting it up.
    "Yea, I already told my mom that we are staying at Shane's today. You've never been to his house before, have you?"
"Nope. Yours is the only house I've been to, but I haven't stayed at yours yet. We ended up staying at my house remember?" I say as I drive out of the parking lot heading towards his house.
"Ooh, yea! I love your house! It looks a lot better than mine. I would live in your house forever if I could," Zane says as he is practically bouncing in his seat; eyes shining with excitement.
Laughing I peek at him before focusing my eyes back on the road, asking him, "You're practically bouncing off of your seat. What's got you so hyper?"
He turns towards me looking in disbelief at what I had just said before saying, "Was that a serious question?" I look at him out the corner of my eye with a smirk before nodding my head.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! WE ARE ABOUT TO PARTY!! We aren't stopping till the sun comes up!"
Laughing hard, I say, "I didn't take you for the partying type."
After calming down, Zane says, "Oh, I'm not. But, it's the first time you're coming with us and it's your first time too. This makes a monumental moment here, so of course, I'm excited. I get to party with my best friend!"
As we pull up to his house, I ask, "I'm your best friend?"
"Well, duh! You're apart of our large best friend group but your one of the only people who can fully tolerate my personality; aside from Rosie. So you and I are like extra best friends. I already claimed that spot so doesn't go looking anyone else, or there will be consequences," he says pointing a finger at me as his gaze darts across my face.
Holding up my hands, I say, "Alright, I accept. Now, go get your stuff. I wanna say hi to your mom but she's not here yet."
"Okay, be right back," he says leaving the car, before turning back and yelling, "Don't leave without me!"
    I shake my head before leaning my head on my hands that were still gripping the wheel. I tried to seem like this whole thing was not bothering me but I was beyond scared. As Zane said, it would be my first time doing this type of thing so I didn't know what to expect or how to prepare myself. I keep reminding myself what the shrink tells me to remember.
You can never be prepared for life. You have to go with the flow while being careful and watching my mental state.
I know now what has been happening with my mental state is called age regression but I don't know if I'm ready to face that part of myself yet. I haven't really felt the urge to...regress; voluntarily or involuntarily. I'm pretty sure it's because I need to be of sound mind for the being, but I'm not really sure how all of it works. I was given a lot of pamphlets, articles, and websites to read up on, but I've been putting it off the whole time. I know I should read them but I was anxious and scared of how much it would alter my perception of myself. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I only know a few things that may set it off; getting scared abruptly, the dark, and if I'm really tired.
Really tired? Why do I feel like I've seen something like that before?
I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't notice Zane had already gotten into the car until he placed a hand on my shoulder making me jump a little.
"You okay, Miles?" Zane asks me with worry painted across his face.
"Hmm. Oh, yea. I'm fine. Just doing some thinking is all," I say as I drag my hand down my face to brush away the lingering thoughts.
I could tell he didn't believe me, I pat his hand that still was clamping down on my shoulder, saying, "I'm serious. There is nothing to worry about. I feel fine, just a little nervous. But I mean that kind of a given right. I'm about to do something that I've done but it's something I want to do. So, don't look at me with so much worry. My mind isn't as fragile as it may seem, okay?"
"That's not what I was thinking, Miles. I was just nervous that you were going through with something that you actually didn't want to do. I know you said you didn't want to do it before, so I'm just a little worried you feel pressured to go through with it," Zane says softly as he takes his hand off of my shoulder and places it in his lap.
I thunk my head against the steering wheel, saying, "No, I'm sorry. I know what you were thinking; I was getting irritated with myself unknowingly and took it out on you. I really do want to do this; truly. I'm just nervous that something will go wrong but I have you all by my side. I won't be alone anymore, right?"
He looks at me with tears brimming his eyes before saying, "Yea! You're not alone anymore, Miles. You are my best best friend and my brother. You now have a large family and we'll never leave your side," as he launches himself across the seat to hug me.
I hug him, patting his back before driving off in the direction of Shane's house. We had all agreed to meet at his house to change into different clothes. I didn't quite understand the need for it though, since we all were already wearing clothes from school. But I was told that I couldn't were any of my normal clothes, but something club-worthy. It's a little embarrassing but I had to do a little bit of image researching to get a better idea of what 'club worthy' outfits were.
Ultimately, I came up with something that seemed appropriate for my first time clubbing. I paired a black sleeveless thin turtle neck, some simple black jeans, a light brown mock jean jacket, simple black and white converse, two simple silver necklaces, and a black belt with some silver rings. I put a dragon silver ring and a simple band on my pointer and ring finger on my right hand. On my left hand, I put a matching simple band on my pinky finger while a more intricate ring on my middle finger and thumb. The last thing I put together was a simple silver watch that had a gold centerpiece, and one of my yellow woven bracelets. I chose yellow to signify that I was anxious but okay. I decided to leave my hair down as to let my curtain bangs curl at the sides of my face. If it got irritating I could just put it in a man bun.