Don't Let Go, I Need You

~13~

This allowed me to actually open up instead of holding back my feelings and thoughts.

"The parents who I thought were my parents aren't my parents at all." I quietly mumbled, staring off in the distance as I gripped my blanket around me tighter. "My dad is Geto Suguru. He became a father before he even knew what it means to hold responsibility. Once my mom died, he handed his duty as a father over to my aunt—my mom's sister who took care of me until now. I met him when I was about 6 years old, but I didn't know he was my father." I told him about that memory in vivid detail like it happened yesterday. "He died last year didn't he?" My heart slowly ceasing as I breathed lightly, feeling the hollowness spreading throughout my chest.

"Yes," Gojo didn't say with much emotion like he's trying to hold something back. I didn't know what it was but I wasn't done talking yet.

"You know him don't you?" He should know my dad because he's a sorcerer too. Most sorcerers knew each other or heard of each other, and Gojo took part in last year's declaration of war led by Geto Suguru. He can't lie to me.

"Yes. He was my best friend during my high school days before he decided to turn his back on us." Gojo calmly spoke, choosing his words carefully. I don't know if he's doing that to lessen my stress or not because it really doesn't matter anymore. I've uncovered a lot already. I'm going to find out the truth sooner or later. I know more hidden information will be coming out before my death so people who love and care about me won't carry guilt in their hearts.

Then I hit him with an obvious question. "Is that why we're close? Not because we have white hair, but because I do resemble Geto Suguru in some shape or form? Do I remind you of your former best friend?" A tear rolled across my face, sliding down as I quietly sniffed through my stuffy nose. I bet we wouldn't have a close relationship as we do now if I didn't look like Geto Suguru. Did he only attach himself to me because he felt sorry? "Did he..." My upcoming words were stuck in my throat as I couldn't push them out due to my emotional state. It hurts so much to think about this. For some reason, I felt like I'm at fault for not letting him come and see me. Back then, I'm pretty sure he was consumed by guilt for being an irresponsible parent and wanted to make up for it by changing. However, I shot him down which led to him wallowing in ultimate pain and regret.

"Kana," Gojo's hand gently touched my arm above the blanket.

Hearing him say my name caused more tears to fall from my eyes as my head played out possible answers about my dad. "Did he *hic* not love me?!" I said through my groggy voice, breathing through my mouth while sitting up now with my back facing Gojo. I couldn't breathe well if I laid down. "I'm-I'm *hic* so-o *hic* confused." My overall speech was horrible because my throat tightened from my constant hard crying.

I wiped my eyes, smearing blood on the back of my hands and forearms. I felt weak crying over this; I shouldn't care about him if he didn't care about me but I do.

Gojo didn't know how to comfort me, so he rubbed my shoulder awkwardly. "Don't say that. He really loved and cared for you more than you'll ever know. Although he carried regrets in his heart, he never forgot about you. I can tell you countless stories of when he brought you up." His voice filled with sentiments, allowing his old memories to transfer to me as he spoke about the past. "There were many missions where he heard about you through your aunt—by the way, this was before your dad betrayed us." He expressed how my father would sadly smile about seeing pictures of me being sent to him by my aunt, and talked about one day he'll muster the courage to see me and apologize for everything he has done. Gojo made it sound like my father was very genuine.

I bit my trembling lips and gushed out more tears from my tired eyes. They were going to be puffy tomorrow morning, I know it.

He continued on saying, "Last year, his last words to me was: take care of my daughter since I couldn't be the one to watch her grow up unlike you. I won't sugar coat my words but yes, at first we became close because of your dad. Back then when I saved you from being kidnapped at 7 years old, I saw your dad's face in yours despite the hair color difference and thought to myself, 'wow, she's a different breed'."