Shielding You From Sorrow♡

Chapter 16

Hearing those words came from chae made me just realized a lot of things.

"Do I deserve her?". I asked in between of sobbed. "Of course unnie you deserve each other". She said that made me at ease.

"Thank you for being there for her Rosie-yah". I sincerely said.

She hold my hand and looked at my eyes directly.

"You know how I love y'all right?". She utter sweetly.

"hmmmmm". I answered in hummm and went silent.

"I'll just go to my room. Thank you for telling me everything". I said and she nodded.

I feel sleepy after crying hard earlier.

I went to my room and lay in bed.

I let myself fell into a deep slumber.

I woke up with the familiar scent I always wanted to smell.

There's someone caressing my hair and humming a song.

A song that has a big impact to my life.

I opened my eyes and there I saw Lili staring at me while smiling like a creep. But I still smiled back.

"Good evening jendeukie". She greeted me smiling. Her smile are genuine that make everyone smile when they saw it.

"Good eve-----what? It's evening?". I asked confused. My smile fade when I realized I just slept almost a half a day.

"Yes madam it's evening and you haven't eaten your lunch yet so I'm here to fetch you your highness". She said that made me smile again.

"Get up quickly Nini you've just skipped your meal". She put her hands in her waist scolding me like she's my mother.

Oh she's looking at me seriously. Is she mad?

"Are you mad at me?". I asked pouting she was about to walk out when she heard me. Upon hearing me she already face me.

"Mad? Oh come on Nini how to get mad at you. I don't know how to get mad when it comes to you". Smiling like an idiot she uttered those words.

"Awww". I stand up and went to her.

I held her hand and intertwined it with mine.

I smiled seeing our hands like that.

"Can we talk after we eat?". I asked. She nodded immediately.

We both went to the kitchen and eat.

"Where's chaesoo?". I asked munching my food.

"Outside". She shortly replied.

Her head leaning on the table.

She's staring at me smiling.

"Yah lisa-yah eat your food". I softly glared at her.
"But I'm already full Nini". She said pouting. "Aigoo stop pouting. You are full without eating anything yet?". I asked confused.

"But I'm already full watching the best view". The butterflies in my tummy went wild. Why is she like that. Stop it Lisa.

"Yah li-lisayah can you please stop". I looked up to prevent my tears from falling. I stand up even though I didn't finished my food yet. I went to my room and lock it.

"Jennie open the door". She knocked into my door.

It made me burst out from crying. Lisa please stop it's not right. I'm starting to feel confused. What's the meaning of your actions. Your words keep popping in my head always.

I'm starting to wonder what are we? Are we even more than friends.

Lili I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that I will hurt you again.

I'm sorry.

I like you but it's not right. Girls aren't supposed to love other girls the way you wanted us to be.

"Nini open the door". She softly said. "I'm fine Lisa". I said trying to hold my sob. "Fine? You walked out without finishing your food. You left me with no choice Nini. I'm going to broke this damn door". She said sighing.

"Lisa wait you will going to hurt me. I'm leaning on it". I said still crying.

"Damn it". She cursed. "Nini open it please". She said almost begging. "I'll just take a shower". I said and went to my bathroom.

I stayed there for an hour until I decided to go out.

I jumped in surprised when I saw her sitting on my bed.

"L-lisa". I stuttered.

I'm just wearing a towel for Pete's sake.

She looked at me but immediately turned her gaze to somewhere else.

"O-oh i-i'm sorry. I didn't mean to barged in without your permission". She said and closed her eyes. "Put your clothes on Nini". I immediately grab my pajamas and put it on.

"Open your eyes. I'm done". I went to her side. She grabbed the towel from my hand to dry my hair.

Lisa please stop it.

"Why did you walked out earlier? Did you cried? Did I make you upset? Did I say something wro----". I interrupt her words. "You didn't do anything lice. It's just that my anxiety and overthinking attacked me again". I partially lied and said the truth.

She was paused from drying my hair.

"What did I tell you Nini. I told you to let me shove your anxiety away. Do you trust me?". She asked seriously. There's sadness in her voice. I'm sorry.

"Of course I trust you Lili". I spoke softly trying to make her smile but I failed. Now she's poker face. "Tell me everything then?". She said that made me nervous. "I-i can't. I'm sorry Lili but it's not the right time to tell you". I said looking down. I don't wanna see the sadness and pain in her eyes.

"It's fine jen. Go to sleep". She said faking a smile.

Oh God I hurted her again and again.

"Are you mad?". I asked afraid now.

"For God's sake Jen how to get mad at you. I didn't get mad at you even once". She said faking a smile again.

"Go to sleep". She said and left me behind.

"Lisa-yah". I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?". I jumped in surprised.

She came back.

I low-key wiped my tears.

"I'm not crying". I said and smiled the faked one.

"Why did you came back?". I still asked trying to hold my damn tears. "Did you honestly think I'd let you sleep like that?". She asked that made me burst out from crying.

Why the hell I am a cry baby this past days.

She hugged me out of nowhere. A tight hug.

I feel at ease in her. Her hugs gave me comfort. I felt home in her arms. Maybe this is the place where I belong in her arms.

That night we slept together. We spent our night together without thinking anything but for our sake.

I don't understand myself. It's wrong. It's wrong to fall in love with same gender as me. Girls was supposed to love boys and boys was supposed to love girls.

But what if I fell for her deeper? Would destiny on our side and let us be happy or there's still a barrier towards our happiness.

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