Fragile

Chapter 1

I let my hair cascade down my back before leaving the bathroom. "I forgot my cute shoes at home," I lied sheepishly. "Does it look bad?" 

"What size are you?" 

"seven" 

"You'll fit," she said, handing me a pair of expensive looking booties. "Got to make a good first impression, right? We might run into cute college guys, you never know!" 

I was hesitant at first. Was it alright to borrow your roommate's things? Was that a normal behavior? But then again, she was the one who offered. If it wasn't normal, why offer? "Thank you," I smiled, slipping out of my rugged sneakers and into the booties. They were cute and felt just as expensive as they looked. I made note to make sure not to scuff them at all. 

Out of everyone in the cafeteria, he was the first one I saw. A tall, extremely handsome guy in dark wash jeans and a fitted V neck. He was muscular, his biceps popping as he lifted his arm to stretch. He was at the buffet, analyzing the fruit options. 

"Woah, he's hot as fuck," Kiera whispered in my ear. 

"You see him too?" I whispered back. 

She smiled. "He was in the orientation group next to mine. I think his name is Noah, but I can't remember the last name. He's easily the hottest man I've seen." 

Kiera guided me towards the table with her orientation group. I analyzed the group. They were eating casually. In front of each other. Was it normal to eat meals in front of people? Were you supposed to chew mouth open or closed? Were you allowed to talk with your mouth full? Everything felt like sensory overload to me. 

"Guys, this is Fay, my roommate," Kiera introduced me. 

They murmured their greetings before quickly getting back to their conversation. One of the boys sitting across from us pulled away from the former conversation to talk to me. "Charles. I'm from New York." 

"I'm from Arizona," I murmured, noting the slight drawl in his voice. Was that an accent or did it only apply to him? His hair was black and gelled in a messy fashion. It made me want to fix it. 

"Ay Noah!" Charles suddenly waved at someone over my shoulder. I turned. 

The extremely hot guy, Noah, didn't react to Charles and kept walking out the door, tossing an apple up into the air and catching it as he walked. I didn't know a whole lot about social etiquette, but even I knew that was rude. 

"Why is he like that?" Kiera asked. 

Charles shrugged. "He doesn't talk to anybody, from what I hear. He's already been here a semester and hasn't made friends." 

"he started in the spring?" I asked. "That's strange, right?" 

He nodded. "At first I thought he was a foreign exchange, but he's from here. Maybe he did online schooling or homeschool?"

Kiera shrugged. "What a waste of good looks." 

****

I couldn't sleep the first night in the dorms. Even after midnight, there were people talking loudly and cars driving around. I also wasn't used to someone sleeping in the same room as me. I also didn't want kiera to see me have nightmares. Only in sleep was it impossible to hide my abnormality. 

The first sixteen years of my life had been in darkness. I didn't have experience with people like other kids. I didn't get to do things like go to the mall or play outside. Because I was locked away. Because I was too fragile for the rest of the world. The outside world was unsafe, and a fragile girl like me was bound to break from it. 

The cool air hitting my face felt nice. Sitting outside on a bench, I hugged my knees to me chest and smiled to myself. Fresh air was something normal people took for granted. Fresh air was such a beautiful feeling. 

The day I was rescued, the police handed me off to a social worker. I was mute and scared, but the woman didn't seem to care. She gave me a scary plastic smile and a few days later I was in a foster home. Only the foster home was loud and all the kids seemed so aggressive and I was fragile, didn't my mother tell them I was fragile? 

The government agreed to pay all my expenses for as long as I was in university. They said I was a victim of abuse and neglect. I didn't really understand what those words meant at the time, but it was hard to believe complete strangers who told you the way you lived your life was wrong. 

"Finally taking your mask off?" The deep male voice startled me, and I almost fell off the bench. 

Auburn brown hair. Toned, muscular arms. "Noah," his name came out of my mouth so easily. 

"Fay," he countered with a small smirk, sitting on the other side of the bench. 

I blinked. "How..." 

"You still have your nametag on your shirt." 

I looked down and flushed, ripping the sticker off. Everything about Noah screamed dangerous. He wore ripped jeans, he had black studded rings on his fingers. His smirk revealed a dangerously attractive dimple that was enticing to any woman. But men were scary. They were like sirens at sea, waiting to hurt small and fragile girls. I suddenly felt the need to be at least a mile away from him. And yet in my anxious fidgeting, he was completely relaxed. How could a predator be so relaxed, so confident? Did he think I wouldn't run? 

"You seem out of your element." It was a simple observation, but his comment instantly made me tense up. 

"Why would you say that?" I defended. 

He moved his seductive eyes towards me, still lazing back against the wall. "I really hate fake people." 

I huffed, suddenly feeling very on edge. Why was he being like this? Did he know I was different? Was he trying to harass me, or threaten me? "What's your deal?" I finally asked. 

His thumb grazed his lower lip absently. "I'm just making observations," he said. "But I am curious about something." 

"What?" 

"Are you actually terrified of the world, or is that part of your innocent girl cosplay?" 

I nearly coughed on my own spit. "Excuse me?" 

"You know, the wide eyes, the pout, the soft voice," he counted. "How much of that is real and how much is an act?" 

Red alarm. Red alarm. Dangerous man. Signals flew everywhere in my body. "You're really rude," I finally said, getting to my feet. "I'd prefer you stopped talking to me." 

"Is the polite convo part of it too?" 

"Leave me alone," I suddenly snapped. "I never did anything to you, so just leave me alone." 

That smirk returned, branding two dimples on his cheeks. With his smile, he almost looked boyish. But it returned quickly to his arrogant smirk. "You're not as fragile as you act." He got up  and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Is playing damsel in distress your go-to?" 

My heart pounded in my ears, and I noticed my vision blurring slightly. I was about to cry. I couldn't let him see me cry, or it would just mean he won. "Get lost," I hissed before turning on my heel and storming back into the dorm. 

Once I turned the corner, I bit into my arm to muffle my voice as I screamed "fuck!" and then turned towards my dorm room. First day of classes were tomorrow, I could do this. As long as I avoided that dangerous student, I could do this. 

I could be normal.