Axel: since it's your birthday, it's time to reveal a little surprise for you. It's been about six months since we broke off our marriage
Night: and your fucking point? What did you do, Funtime?! I swear to fucking god if you endangered our child, I will throw you into the pits of hell.
Axel: i'm engaged.
Night: HUH- AXEL LUKE. WHAT THE UTTER FUCK.
Axel: I am engaged to my bandmate, Dylan McAllister. And he has a son. We actually adopted him together a couple months ago. So surprise! You're a stepmom!
Night: you're lucky I love you to death or else I'd be slapping the shit out of you right now. First I turn 20, then I find out that I have a stepson after my performer, former alcoholic ex-husband has a FIANCÉ and a CHILD.
Axel: well I'm 21 so jokes on you. Anyway, meet my son Greg! He's 7
*greg has been added to the chat*
Greg: dad! It's Gregory. And second and 7 a half.
Axel: whatever, champ. This is your stepmom.
Gregory: dude I met her months ago. At the park, i'm close friends with her daughter. But to find out she's my stepmom? AWESOME! No more dad jokes.
Axel: you will never fucking escape the dad jokes for as long as you live with me and your other dad
Gregory: you're mean :(
Night: Gregory, I can teach you how to Weaponize his jokes. I've known him for years. Since we were kids so I know his whole shebang and his jokes.
*dylan420 has been added*
Night: Who the fuck is Dylan 420
Axel: my tall as shit singing future husband
Gregory: WELP IMMA DIP! BYE STEPMOM NIGHT! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Dylan: Gregory Hamilton McAllister! Don't you leave!
Gregory: fine.
Night: if you harm axel in any way, Dylan, I will come to beat your ass.
Dylan: I promise you, your macaroni noodle of an ex husband is in good hands.
Night: macaroni noodle? He's tall and lanky like a spaghetti noodle
Axel: fuck both of you
*Foxia has been added*
Night: WHO GAVE MY KID A PHONE-
Axel: me :3. She doesn't know how to use it
Night: GOD DAMN IT, AXEL.
*Axel removed foxia*
Fanfic portion:
Foxia threw the phone. Her eyes darted like a cat looking at a laser.
Night walked in, staring at the 2 foot tall child. " you have a brother now just to let you know. It was a funny surprise, especially on my birthday." She stated. The child smirked. "It's Gweg! Daddy told me!" Night just stared. " so you knew about this?!" And Foxia smiled, nodding. "Yuh huh!" Then Foxia swept her blonde hair out of her face, pulled her pigtails out and she dove under the bed, pulling out a crudely wrapped box. "Happy birfday!" Night was confused, but yet sat on the floor anyway. Her daughter was quite a surprising little being, a little strange but that was what made Foxia special. Foxia was her strange little being, and the woman could not have it any other way.
Night opened the box, revealing two clay sculptures:
One of a little white and pink fox with a small pink ribbon, and the other one was a larger fox that was colored and yellow with red as accent colors.
Night pulled the little girl close, crying. " thank you so much, baby. I love you."
Axel walked in, A tall, dark skinned, brown haired with red and blue accents, blue-eyed man following suit. A small young boy was on this man's shoulders. The boy had white skin, brown hair, and brown eyes.
Axel nodded. " as part of your birthday gift, I arranged for you to actually see me and my band perform for free next week! You will get to meet the band!"
" actually motherfucker we're already here! Dylan doesn't tell you anything does he?!" A young woman barked, her wild gray and green hair swept over her face. " anyways. My name is Roxanne and I am his keyboard guitarist. He talks a lot about you and about how you're his best friend and shit. He such a positive dude but he's annoying as fuck."
A man with a shaved head, but obviously had a green hair before shaving it off and all that he left was a red mohawk walked in. "The name's Monty! I am Axel's male best friend and guitarist. Sorry about Roxanne, she's just a cold human being. Anyway happy birthday."
" Montgomery, you are a fucking cunt!" Roxanne barked.
Night just blinked.
The final band member finally entered the room, she was a curvy woman with white and pink hair and purple eyes. "The name's Raven! Axle really doesn't give me a Direct job in the band but he always finds a way for me to join. Although I did see him and Dylan getting freaky once-"
Night laughed at this. Axel blushed red and buried his head into his man's chest
The small boy from Dylan's shoulders got down and gave Night a hug. "Happy birthday Stepmom! I made you a bracelet out of macaroni because the teacher said we weren't allowed to use beads for some reason. So I made this macaroni bracelet thing!"
Night hugged back, enveloping the boy into a hug and putting the macaroni bracelet on her wrist.
" thanks Gregory! You can just call me Mom you know."
" nah! Stepmom sounds cooler! Sounds like you could beat a bitch up!"
Dylan went to stop it but Nigh hushed him.
" still teaching your offspring curses, Huh Axel?"
Axel laughed, and nodded. " like I said way back in high school, way before even those two even existed in either of our lives, I repeatedly told you it was my job to raise either idiots, dumbasses, troublemakers, or smart asses. So why not raise all of them LMAO."
Night gave him a big old slap across the face.
An hour later, Dylan walked up to Night.
" was Axel always bad at sex?!"
" yeah pretty much. Why?"
"He's always not doing it right. I might have to make him go to a sexual education class."
That's when Night laughed so hard, she fell on the fucking floor.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NightBear15 !!!
YOU ARE READING
RJs oneshot trashbin
FanfictionWhy did I make this book have the genre of humor when I go into lot of deep subjects in these stories?? I was a fucked up kid or I just thought at the time that this book was just gonna be for funny little stories featuring stupid white fox man
