Russian Roulette: Family secrets [2021 version]

Ch. 34: What I say goes

It was strange to stand naked in the living room, staring at each other. None of them knew what to say or do after they had kissed. They gazed into each other's eyes. Hands touched naked skin to be sure the other one was there.

Through the reveal and reactions to it, they had formed a new bond that went deeper than their love. An understanding of how the other thought and felt. Something none of them had thought possible because neither of them had understood love and unconditional trust before.

They had both lived their lives, hiding behind walls, never letting people fully in. Being themselves as much as they could while protecting their innermost secrets from exposure.

Now Gareth's cancer, and his inability to have children, were out in the open. His honesty about the dark sexual monster in him no longer proved a hindrance to Mackenzie's acceptance of him. Mackenzie's life of abuse saw the light of day. Her reasons for having low self-esteem and a warped image of herself, Gareth now knew and stood a chance at changing.

Individually, they had scraped rock bottom, together they soared because they did it together. Their bond was unique because they still loved and accepted each other, despite everything they hated about themselves.

They were the same, but different.

They were whole.

If Gareth had thought Mackenzie to be a strong person before, he wanted to worship her strength now. Few he knew could go through something like that and stay as sweet and vibrant as her. Maybe her coping mechanism of pretending to not be there had worked wonders and protected her in more ways than just survival in the moment?

Maybe it had protected who she was and stored that for the day she could be that person again?

Gareth wished he had the words to tell her how proud she should be of herself. No words sufficed. None would be enough. He knew her trauma went deep, and he would be there for her if she fell apart, if she needed help. He would be whatever she needed, and get her professional help, which he contemplated anyway. For her to talk about her demons might be good for her.

Mackenzie finally felt free.

Sure, she needed to tell Gareth the last details about King, but for now, he had had enough.

At the back of her mind, she knew they needed to talk about the future. She needed to tell Gareth the guys knew about King, so they could get him together. It could wait until he got things settled with Grychenko. Gareth needed his head in the game, he needed to stay sharp, which he could not do if he worried about her or had his focus elsewhere.

"Can we talk?" Gareth asked politely, ready to accept if Mackenzie was all talked out for the day. He had many questions that demanded answers. He had to talk with her but would wait if she needed time to get her head on straight again.

"Of course, but maybe not in a puddle of whiskey." Mackenzie grabbed his cigarettes and the ashtray and moved to the other side of the table and sat on the couch there.

Gareth joined her after he had picked up the whiskey bottle and placed it on the table. The smell of whiskey soothed him, almost as if he had drunk it. Maybe that was a trick for the future...

Or not.

He liked his whiskey.

With a blanket that was mostly for show as part of the décor, Gareth covered them and grabbed a cigarette. If no whiskey, he craved his cigarettes. There were tough questions ahead and even tougher answers.

"Please don't explode on me if I ask some wrong questions," he opened the conversation. "I'm trying to get the complete picture and there are a lot of pieces to the puzzle missing."