Never Be (A 5 Seconds Of Summer Fan-Fiction)

Chapter 21

Third Person's POV

MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE. IF YOURE NOT SURE PLEASE DONT READ THIS CHAPTER

You know, once there was a wise woman who said "fuck this shit". You know what happened then? She lived happily ever after. Some might be wonder if this is Riley's case, I believe that it was. Just in different circumstances. You don't have to have something to be happy, it's not something you can buy. It takes days, if not years to truly achieve. So why did Riley try to commit suicide? It was because she realized, that she had been trying to achieve happiness for over ten years, and ten years she couldn't find what was described anything like it. Until they came along, of course. Happiness can be given to you even in the most unexpected forms, you just have to be smart enough to notice it.

Anyway, they're been pumping water out of her lungs for over two hours now. "She'll be okay." The doctors keep telling them, but what form of okay do they mean? "She just needs a little more time, we're almost done." Although that "almost done" seemed to pass by ever so slowly, as if the clock had stopped ticking. Through the time Ashton could not stop thinking of her attempt at suicide, the way if he had waited a minute longer she would have been dead.

He ran, he just ran where he felt like she would be. Soon enough he ended up on a beach, the cold sand tickling his skin. "For sure she's here" He thought. And he was right. He spotted a head of brown hair descending into the depths of the ocean. "Riley." He thought as he sprinted across the sand. He knew that if he stopped to rest for even a second she could be dead. Diving into the water, he ignored the salt stinging his eyes as he looked for her under the waves.

Spotting a limp, lifeless body just floating around, he immediately swam towards it. As soon as he reached it, he launched towards the shore. "Stay with me, baby." He told her. "Just hold on a little longer, you can do it." But nothing seemed to be working. It was like nothing could bring back his beloved girlfriend.

"She's awake now" The doctor told us. "You may go see her, one at a time." All eyes immediately landed on Ashton, who wasted no time standing up and entering the other room. As he saw her, he felt relieved. The doctors weren't lying, she was awake.

"Hey." He said as he entered the room. He slowly approached her, taking her hand.

"Hey." She replied, a pitiful smile rising to her face.

"You were doing so well..." He whispered to her after a period of silence. "You only needed to hold on for a little longer..." He gently stroked the palm of her hand with his thumb, although she no longer paid attention to this once cherished gesture.

"Until what? I felt okay?" Her eyes looked dead, they had no more life in them. The brown color was dull, if there at all.

"He didn't mean anything he said, you know?" He told her.

"Drunk words are sober thoughts." Repeating what she had said the other day, she placed her hand on her stomach.

"You have to find a reason to stay..."

"I can't."

"Just try... please..." He tried to make it sound like he wasn't pleading, like he wasn't literally begging her to stay, he tried to mask his feeling of desperation, although the girl knew him too well to ignore such things.

"I don't want to be here anymore, is that a good enough reason for you?" A feeling of relief washed over the half-dead girl, she felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Somehow finally admitting that you no longer have the will to live took off the pressure she felt over the years. But nevertheless the feeling wasn't gone. She still wondered of to get the easy way out. She wondered if she killed herself, could she still go to heaven?

"I can't live without you."

"You know, if I had the chance to kill myself without hurting the people who care about me, I would do it in a heartbeat." She couldn't bare to look at the run-down boy any longer. She knew that if she looked him in the eyes she would feel everything he did, she would do everything just to make him feel alright, and that was something that she both physically and mentally could no longer do without breaking herself in the process.

"So would I, if I lost you." He admitted. He took her hand and gently stroked it with his thumb. Somehow he thought his touch would calm her, make her forget her fears and worries.

But that was far from the case this time. She turned to face him, a loving fire burning in her dark eyes. "Please." She choked out. "Don't use this against me... please..." Her voice cracked, you could clearly hear the raw emotion as she spoke. Riley no longer found any point in masking her feelings, everyone around her knew them too well, though she had not paid enough attention to realize that everyone could finally see right through her. Her gaze met his and she saw a previously unrevealed emotion glowing in his orbs. It was almost impossible to describe it. "Please..."

"I'm sorry."

"Ashton..."

"This is the only way to make you stay." He looked down, avoiding her gaze at all costs.

"You can't be serious..." She gaped.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized again. He knew what he was doing, he knew how selfish this was of him, but somehow it felt right.

"Ashton..." She whispered as the boy started to leave the room. "You can't do this!" She yelled. "You can't use this against me!" Now pleading, her eyes scanned the door that Ashton had just closed. She stood up from her hospital bed, but couldn't find the strength to stand, therefore making her crumble to her knees. "You can't do this to me! You can't! You can't use my feelings against me! You can't! You... you can't..."