Beauty and the Wolf

Growing Up

Venus POV

The rain tapped heavily against the outside of the window, falling quickly in large droplets. The droplets of water raced down the window, leaving tracks as they went. It was like the raindrops were trying to see who could reach the ground first, and all I could think about was how they reminded me of teardrops.

I knew it was stupid to look at the rain and imagine them as tears, but I couldn't help it. As cliche and movie-like as it sounded, I really did think it was the heavens crying out. I pictured the sky crying whenever a beautiful soul had left the earth.

I pictured whatever higher being there was, opening their arms to welcome those pure souls who had been lost. And to show their sadness for the soul, the heavens released a storm. And since it was always raining somewhere in the world, I assumed a lot of innocent people had been lost.

One of those innocent's was my mom. She was the kindest woman that I had ever known, that anyone would ever know. The possibility of me meeting another soul as kind as hers...Well it wasn't possible.

Nobody was as kind or compassionate as her.

Never once did she ever show any signs of hatred towards another person. Never once did I see her yell at, or mistreat another life. She believed in valuing everyone else's life over her own. And yet she was still murdered--Slaughtered like a pig by a group of monsters who called themselves human.

I couldn't understand why. She had never done anything to hurt anyone. But she was still killed, while other people like her murderers got to live. It was sick. It was twisted, and I would never understand why the world allowed the monsters to live, but took the angels.

It was a cruel world, filled with even more cruel people.

And I was drowning in it.

I knew that my skin wasn't thick enough for this world. I knew that my heart was too fragile, too loving for this world. I knew that I still hoped that my life would change for the better. And I despised myself for that.

I despised myself for being weak and naive. I despised myself for allowing others to treat me like I was weak and naive. And they continued to treat me that way because I allowed it. I never ever fought back. All those times I let Kacey hit me and humiliate me just proved how weak I was.

All those times at school when boys would grab my ass and I would just start crying...That was where the problem started. I shouldn't have cried. I shouldn't have let any of them defile me. Instead, I should have sent my knee straight into each and everyone of their dicks.

But I didn't because my mom had taught me kindness. And for all of those years after she was gone, I really tried to be kind. But there was a point where I started to forget the line between being kind and being weak.

And I loathed myself for it.

But something had changed since I had gotten here. Something in me was screaming to fight back. Every time Sebastian ridiculed me for being weak, I got the urge to prove him wrong. I wanted to show him that I wasn't the pitiful human he called me out to be. I wanted to prove that I could put up a fight.

But that scared me. It scared me to see that my innocent soul was starting to change. I knew that there was a lot of anger built up inside of me, and I knew that Sebastian was going to keep pushing and pushing for it to come out. I knew that he wanted to see me snap. But I didn't want him to see that side.

I didn't want him to see the part of me that was filled with hatred and pain. I didn't want him to see how ruined I was...Because beneath the weak facade that I so desperately tried to keep up, was a girl more vile than anyone I had met. And I knew that once I let her out, there was no going back.