ateez family au

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Seonghwa sighed with a smile. "My feet hurt~" he replied but complied.

"I earned this one dance," Hongjoong said and put his husband's glass away. "Because you ditched me to dance with Yunho instead" he chuckled and slung his arms around Seonghwa's body.

"You ditched me to talk to your dear sponsors, Sir~" he replied and let out a little giggle. "Our son had the right manners and asked his father to dance, as he should," he added and swung his hips to the rhythm. There was a comfortable silence spreading, and they both appreciated the moment to enjoy the rare peace. Little things like this started to become rarer and rarer, and whenever they found the time, it became a beautiful memory.

"Five years, huh..." Hongjoong marked by and turned them to the right. "I can't believe it's been five years since I left for service... it feels like yesterday."

The elder tilted his head and a nostalgic expression spread on his face. "It's been so long, already?"

~

"Ah, our Hongjoongie is leaving for service too!" his father-in-law cheered and rose his glass.

"He's so grown already~" Yonghwan joked and pinched the younger's cheek. "Becoming a man already, ah~ they grow up so fast"

The table was filled with all his favorite dishes, all his favorite people were sitting with him here and had his last feast with him. It was bittersweet, the taste of this occasion. The next morning this would become a memory to hold dear, something so fragile.

Tomorrow morning, before the sun would rise, he would be on his way already.

His eyes examined his family, how his children fought over the last bit of the stew, how Yonghwan and his father-in-law told their service stories. How Seonghwa and his mother were already in their emotions. The picture was so pure and beautiful, he would hold on to it whenever homesickness spread in his chest.

Soon the dinner ended, and they started to use the last hours to fresh up the memories. Hongjoong was only listening with one ear, the other was dedicated to his twins next to him. he heard them whisper to each other. Then, San nudged his side. "d-do you want to play with us... before you go?" he asked shyly and tipped his lips.

"I would love to, San" he replied and just rose from his spot, let his twins drag him to the living room. Just a second later Yunho and Mingi followed, behind them Wooyoung who tugged little Jongho with him. There was nothing he would rather do at the moment. So, he sat there in the middle of the carpet and let his children explain the game. It was this exact moment that almost got his emotions to pool. But he wouldn't dare to make his children feel bad or even sad, he wouldn't allow himself to be the cause. He had learned one thing from his father; to not be like him.

~

Giggling he fell back into the large mattress spread on the floor. His arms were wide open and closed when all six of them laid in between them. Hongjoong took in their smell, the softness of their hair tickling his nose. It was time to say goodnight – and goodbye.

Jongho was the first to sit up and puff his lips. The bottom lip trembled already and just a second later the youngest shed his first tear of the night. "Ah, Jongie, don't do this to Daddy," Hongjoong said and took his son in his arm, hugging him tightly.

"Don't go away" he hiccupped and gripped onto his parent tightly. "I don't want that"

And in just seconds, it infected the fest of his brothers and they clung to Hongjoong. It was a single tear that rolled down his burning cheek and it made him curse himself. He couldn't allow himself to give in. "It's all okay... Daddy will take as much vacation as he can to come home... Time will fly so fast; you won't even notice that I was gone. And then we will be together again, mhm? It's all fine"

"No..." Mingi cried and wiped over his puffed, wet cheeks. "It's so long..."

"And I will miss you too much"

"It's so far away..."

Hongjoong took a deep breath and spread his arms around them the last time, pressed kisses on their heads. That moment also would be engraved in his memories. He wouldn't ever be able to forget.

~

And there was the last destination.

He gathered his strength and opened the door to the attached bathroom to reveal Seonghwa preparing everything. Hongjoong had refused to get his hair cut in a salon; he wanted his husband to do it instead.

Seonghwa looked up from the razor in his hand; there was a pained smile plastered on his face. "Ready?"

Hongjoong hummed and nodded, sat on the stool quietly. He felt Seonghwa's slender fingers weave through his long hair; they massaged his scalp so softly. Then, the ear-tearing noise of the razor echoed through the bathroom and he held his breath.

Seonghwa's hand was slightly trembling as he neared his husband's hair. He didn't want to do this but he had to. So, while biting his lip bloody, he started to cut off the soft locks. Complete silence reigned over the couple the whole time, the air was heavy, almost as heavy as their hearts. Some words needed to be said, but only thinking about them hurt already. So, they kept silent. And when Seonghwa was done, when he was standing in front of him and his shaved head, the elder gave in. He let himself fall on his lap and just cried silently.

This was ridiculous, he knew that so well. Hongjoong had left for many things already, but this time was different though. He wouldn't be able to call him every night, he wouldn't be able to come home often. He would be gone. And though he was a grown man and parent, Seonghwa felt like he wouldn't be able to take it.

Hongjoong wordlessly slung his arms tightly around the elder's body and pressed him to him. he buried his face in his shoulder, allowed himself to shed a tear. The silence tore him apart but they needed this. Just a moment to just get rid of all the pressure.

"I love you" Seonghwa sniffed and dared to lean his forehead against Hongjoong's. he couldn't stop himself from crying; the drops fell on the younger's cheeks and mixed with his.

Hongjoong freed a hand and brought it to the elder's cheek; Seonghwa leaned into it immediately. He wiped off the never-ending tears softly and engraved that moment also. He wanted to remember it. "I love you"

-
:')

*I do not know why I did that*

Ouch.

-gulkurusubb