The Broken Souls (Beyond the love)

8. My beautiful neighbor

After his death, I oath to complete his dream. He is still live inside me and to complete his dream, I want to feel his presence in my life again. After completing his dream I can die in peace and looked eyes to him.

I can't die before completing his dream.

I wiped my tears with my forearm and pulled out the first aid kit from my study table. Without cleaning the blood, I wrap my wounded wrist  with white bandage. It wasn't the first time I cut myself. I do it often to remind me the punishment and feel the pain. My right hand is fill with cutting marks. Some are faded and some are new. Everytime I looked at them, they remained me that I don't deserve to be live. I hand myself to the death after completing the task.

My heart is feeling heavy like someone put a heavy stone on it and I struggled to take breath. I feel suffocated and I know, I am close to having panick attack. I was feeling suffocated in my room, I need a fresh air to breath. I rubbed my palm over my chest to calm my heart beats but the pain was still there.

I got up from my chair and walked out from my room. I hurriedly climbed the stairs of my house to geeting the fresh air of evening. I opened the terrace door with thud and run my hand in my hair.

I closed my eyes when cool breeze touched my face. I took a deep breath and feel calm environment. My heart was still beating fast but it was getting calm slowly as I took more deep breaths to calm my mind.

I opened my eyes and looked at the dark sky. Stars are shining proudly in the sky. I was named after the brightest star in the sky but reality was something else. I am not a star and I don't have light in my life. There is only darkness. My soul is painted in black and lost in my own darkness, soon my body also disappear in the darkness and then there will be no Dhruv.

I take a deep breath to push away the negative thoughts and swipe my both hands on my face to calm my heart beating rate.

I took a walk in the terrace and reached near the railing. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the tinkling of bangles. My eyes follow the sound and I saw her.

My beautiful neighbor was spreading wet cothes on rope and her bangles are tickling when she was jerking the clothes to get of the extra water from them.

I never saw such beautiful girl in my life. Sharp features, fair skin like a milk, her dark hair, everything about her is perfect but I most like her deep coffee brown eyes. They hold the innocence. If you don't know her, just looked into her eyes and then you will know, how innocent she is. Her eyes tell you everything what she is like. They are the open book, which anyone can read easily. But when you look close into her eyes, you see the hidden pain behind those beautiful orbs of her that sometime I can also feel her pain. But she is still my beautiful neighbor.

I still remember when first time I saw her. I can't forget the day, when I saw a angel dancing carelessly under the rain.

It's been almost six months since we shifted to this new city. The beauty of this city is, it's calmness and beauty of the nature. But my mind is still not at ease. It's been two years of the incident but I still can't move on from his death. My family members adjust in our new rented house very easily but I can't. I don't like to shifted from one place to other after two or three years. I want to stay at one place and called it my home.

A drop of water fell on my right cheek to bring me out from my deep thoughts. I looked up to the sky. Dark clouds spread all over the sky and it's soon going to rain heavily.

I was feeling disturbed mentally and negative thoughts are coming inside my mind so clean my head I came to terrace. I was sitting in the bench of the terrace and my mind bring me back to the memory of Yash, and my new life in city.